ABI
by WeWillEatSandwiches
Summary: Arizona Robbins meets the miraculous Callie Torres in a bar and discovers there is more than meets the eye. Can they forge a life together and overcome what Life has thrown their way. AU Calzona multi chapter. Taster was a appetizer for the whole story, feel free to read first. It is another one of my fics.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a long day and the bar was beginning to fill up as evening turned to night. Arizona Robbins was sat at the bar waiting for the bartender when she heard a women's voice from behind.

"Do you remember the 21st night of September?" The voice was loud and confident over the sound of the bar music.

"Love was changing the mind of pretenders while chasing the clouds away." The woman sat in the stool next to the blonde. Arizona turned around and caught her breath in her chest when she saw the stunning Latina smiling at her. Eventually she found her voice.

"Are you singing September?"

"Oh good you know Earth Wind and Fire," was the brunette's response.

"Why is that good?"

"Because I don't buy anyone a drink if they don't know decent soul music." She smiled widely at the beautiful stranger as if daring her to refuse. "So what can get you?"This was dangerous and Arizona knew it butshe couldn't stop herself.

"White wine please." A self satisfied smirk was plastered on her face as she called out:

"Q!" Suddenly a bartender dressed in black was in front of them. "A white wine and a lemonade please."

"Yes boss" the man replied. Whilst she had been ordering, Arizona looked the women up and down. She was hot. This was bad.

"Do you remember the 21st night of September?"

"Seriously?" she asked with a glint in her eye as she took the drink she was offered. Electricity shot through her as she accidentally brushed tanned fingers.

"What? I've got a good song in my head and I could get hit by a bus tomorrow so why shouldn't I sing?"

"Don't think I can argue with that."

"Well arguing with a stranger in her own bar wouldn't be to smart."

"Maybe I don't want you to be a stranger." Even as the words came out of her mouth she regretted them.

"Then tell me your name."

"Arizona, what's yours?"

"Utah." She replied quickly. The blonde gave her a look. "Sorry I bet you've gotten a lot of those."

"Usually only the one before I smash their face in."

"Oh well I will shut up. I bet you'd hate to spend the night with me in the hospital."

"Yeah I would hate that."

"What the spending the night with me or just the hospital part? By the way my name is Callie."

"You don't strike me as the type of person to only drink lemonade." Arizona tried to change the subject.

"I have a medical thing."

"What kind of medical thing?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Really? Because I'm a doctor."

"What kind?"

"Paediatric Surgeon."

"Wow, I wanted to be a doctor."

"What stopped you?"

"Life." Callie answered swiftly. She really didn't want to get into this.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." If there was one thing she hated it was pity and meaningless apologies. Her situation wasn't anybody's fault.

"Are you really not going to tell me?"

"Are you going to let me kiss you?" Arizona was suddenly aware of how close they had become.

"I uh, I have a girlfriend." The Latina immediately pulled back.

"She is one lucky woman." Arizona didn't look convinced. "Well you're hot and you're a surgeon so you probably make a fair bit of money."

After a few minutes of silence Callie spoke again.

"So why did you let me buy you a drink if you are in a relationship?" When Arizona turned away and sipped her wine she continued, "You don't want to talk to me about it because crying on the shoulder of a stranger would be more dangerous than letting them buy you a drink.

"You are very good at this."

"I know. And seeing as I'm not about to get into your pants..." Callie took a sip of her drink "I have an Acquired Brain Injury." It was a simple statement but it hit Arizona like bullet train.

"Yeah see that look is why I wasn't gonna tell you. Sex is currently the furthest thing from your mind, right?"

Arizona couldn't lie so she didn't answer either way.

"I didn't know that it meant you can't drink."

"Oh well I can and I did a lot when I was younger and I have the occasional one from time to time but it does more harm than good."

"How did you...? If you don't mind me asking."

"No it's fine. I had meningitis when I was eleven."

"I'm sorry."

"Rule one: stop apologising for the things that aren't your fault."

"Okay."

After staring at each other for another few minutes Callie cleared her throat.

"So I should go and find someone who will sleep with me tonight." She declared.

"And I should let you. Thank you for the drink."

"You're welcome." The Latina smiled genuinely.

"Am I gonna see you again?" She shouldn't have asked but she wanted to.

"Darling, I own half the bars in Seattle, I'm sure I will see you around- if I'm lucky."

Arizona couldn't help but watch as the curved form disappeared in its figure hugging black dress, into the crowd.


	2. Chapter 2

Arizona was walking through the ER when she heard a strangely familiar voice say:

"Sit down and let the doctor examine you, you dumbass."

"Calliope Torres that is no way to speak to your best friend and business partner!"

Without thinking, the blonde pulled back the curtain to reveal Callie stood next to the bed which was occupying a man with equally black hair but much paler skin. When the Latina lifted her head she got locked in a gaze with blue eyes.

"Hey." She offered with the same flirty smile as a few days ago.

Crap. It had been three days and Arizona had only just got the woman out of her mind.

"Hi," She replied meekly.

Callie could recognise the shyness and thought it strange. In the bar the blonde had come off confident but now she was acting like she had never flirted before. Like it hadn't happened. Callie sighed and resigned herself to the fact that now Arizona knew about her injury she wasn't going to look at her the same way. Exactly why she didn't want to tell her.

"You wanna get a cup of coffee?" She asked, sure to be refused.

"Yes." Arizona responded too quickly.

10 minutes later they were sat a table in the cafeteria staring down at their drinks.

"I... I have to be somewhere at six."

"Where's your girlfriend taking you?"

"How do you do that?"

"What?"

"Get in my head."

"I got good at watching people. Okay that sounds creepy. I mean I got good at paying attention. Listening, watching and remembering when I could because a lot of the time I couldn't so I got good at reading people."

"Because of your..."

"Injury, Arizona. It's okay to say it."

"Dinner."

"What?"

"My girlfriend is taking me to dinner tonight."

"She got a name or is it just girlfriend." Arizona couldn't help the giggle that followed.

"Why did I let you buy me coffee?" She asked the brunette.

"What? I thought you paid." She tried to keep a straight face this time,

"I'm being serious!"

"So am I, I'm glad I wore flats today if I'm gonna have to make a run for it."

This time Arizona cracked and began laughing again. Dam it!

"I can't really answer that question though can I?" Callie said seriously.

"What happened to your friend, Calliope?" She asked trying again to avoid her own question.

"He was drunk and screwing some guy when said guys wife turned up. He ran down the fire escape, tripped and hit his head."

"Dumbass."

"My point exactly."

"So he's your business partner?"

"Yeah, we met at college studying business then we went to my Dad for a loan to buy our first bar with. Didn't mention to the oh so catholic man that it was gonna be full of gay men though. We were successful and now eight years later, we've paid my Dad back and we own twelve establishments across the city."

"Instead of being a doctor?"

"Yeah, it's not a bad life so don't pity me." Callie warned.

"I wouldn't dare."

"You let me buy you coffee for the same reason you let me buy you wine, I think you're looking for a way out."

"She cheated on me." Arizona hadn't meant to blurt it out.

"Then you've ignored your way out."

"Sorry nobody really knows that and I sure as hell shouldn't have told you."

"Why? What's so special about me?"

The blonde shifted her gaze and was happy when her pager bleeped loudly to cut through the tension.

"You've got to go."

"Yeah, it's an emergency." Despite herself, Arizona sounded disappointed to have to leave.

"Enjoy your dinner." Callie's smile was sadder than usual but she did mean it.

"Thank you. I hope your friend is okay."

"What Jonathon? Yeah that dumbass will be fine. Do me a favour?"

"What?"

"Don't be a stranger." Arizona's heart skipped a beat at the request and felt herself unable to respond. She just turned and walked away. "Should have done that three days ago." She thought to herself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX

"Hey, your back."

"Very observant Jonathon." Callie walked back into her friend's cubicle.

"How's your hot blonde?"

"Still in a relationship."

"So?"

"So, I am not you and don't intend on falling down any fire escapes any time soon."

"Very funny, you use that wit on your doctor?"

"I guess you're ready to go home then." The Latina watched him stand up from the bed.

"Yes, I'm perfectly healthy and there was no lasting damage." He said proudly.

"How would we know?"

"Again, you're hysterical."

The pair made their way outside but the man felt a strong hand on his shoulder when they were half way to the car.

"Hold on a sec."

"Why?" But as soon as he turned around he knew. Jonathon watched as Callie walked over to a nurse who was stood outside the main entrance. After a few minutes and some flirtatious laughter, she returned with a phone number.

"Unbelievable."

"Thank you." Callie replied without the slightest hint of shame. "You know I used to hate hospitals but what with all these cute nurses I should spend more time here."

"Nurses and doctors." Jonathon elaborated with a devilish grin.

"Shut up."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later that night Callie was in an empty bedroom, searching for her clothes, when the nurse from earlier walked in.

"Don't worry, I didn't have you down as the type who stayed after to cuddle."

"Oh good. This was fun though Jane." She smiled as she pulled her top back on.

"Should I be grateful you remembered my name?" The grin on her face told Callie she was joking. "So, what's going on with you and Doctor Robbins?"

"Who?"

"I saw you in the cafeteria earlier."

"Oh, Arizona."

"Yeah, you know she has a girlfriend right?"

"Yes." The Latina responded flatly.

"Well you might want to remind her, seemed like you two were awfully close."

Callie was now fully dressed and was looking for an easy way out of this conversation.

"I'll let you out."

"Thanks."

"We should do this again."

"I'm sure we will." And with one more kiss Callie was gone. She drove home, took a shower and went to bed alone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Across town, Arizona was in bed hurriedly pulling the covers up and over herself before lying back down next to her girlfriend. The brunette beside her was still trying to catch her breath.

"You... okay babe?"

"Yeah I'm fine." Arizona's response was distant as she rolled on her side to face away from her partner.

"Are you sure, I mean you barely touched your meal and now you don't want to take your turn. I kind of feel bad."

"Don't Jas, I'm just tired." She felt Jasmine spoon her from behind and wrap an arm around her naked body.

"I love you Arizona."

"I love you to."

It was a lie but how could she tell the truth. "I don't love you and I can't really forgive you for what you did but I only really realised this when a miraculous women bought me a drink." That wasn't fair.

They were trying to make this work and giving up what she had for a stranger who slept around unashamedly was just stupid.


	3. Chapter 3

Callie stood at the door of the coffee shop watching the scene unfold. It was normal for a weekday morning. A couple ordering and paying for cups of coffee to go. The only thing was it made her heart hurt slightly watching Arizona Robbins interact with the other women, especially the casual affection. Looking the other women up and down a few times, she could appreciate the woman's looks and fair to say if Callie didn't know who she was, she would have tried to hit on her. Then the thought of her infidelity crossed her mind and the Latina again felt pain for Arizona.

This was stupid, Callie thought to herself, she couldn't do this. Well she shouldn't but they kept running into each other and whenever the Latina saw Arizona she couldn't help what she felt.

The brunette standing next to Arizona gave her a kiss on the cheek before walking straight past Callie and out the door. That was when the blonde finally saw her. An involuntary smile playing on both their lips. Clearing her throat, Callie walked over.

"Are you stalking me?" The smile was now missing from Arizona's face and all of a sudden things got tense.

"You're the one who keeps showing up in my establishments." Callie innocently pointed out.

"What? You own this place to?"

"Yep." The Latina responded before accepting the pre-ordered coffee from her employee. "So that was girlfriend." Arizona gave her a look which said not to go there but Callie couldn't resist. "What you never told me her name so..."

"Jasmine!" The blonde interrupted.

"She's hot." Callie declared and when Arizona just looked away she pushed on "Okay so I seem more into your girl than you do." That was it.

"Then why don't you screw her then?" Arizona snapped.

"Arizona, I wouldn't..." She had pushed to far this time.

"Why not? She likes to cheat and you clearly don't care who you sleep with, its perfect isn't it?"

Before Callie could respond, she watched Arizona turn and storm out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That evening Arizona strolled into The Acorn bar hand in hand with Jasmine. She had shaken off her earlier outburst until a very unwanted figure came into view.

"What's up Doc?" Jonathon asked mischievously eyeing up the woman next to Arizona.

"You know him?" Jasmine asked the blonde.

"Umm..." She gave the man a pleading look, "Yeah he came into the ER with a head trauma and we spoke briefly." She turned back to the dark haired man who was dressed in a black suit with white shirt.

"That's right. " Arizona hoped only she saw the wink he gave.

"So this doesn't seem like your kind of place." The blonde was getting good at changing the subject.

"What, because it's not a gay bar? Shouldn't be yours either, although I'm sure you could pull anywhere."

"Are you hitting on my girlfriend?" The brunette was getting a weird vibe and Arizona gave him a warning look.

"Nope, I'm not... Why don't you get a booth and I will get your drinks."

"Two white wines please, if you're paying?" Jasmine answered for them both but Arizona saw where this was going. Just her luck, if they he owned this place.

"Well technically yes but we prefer to say they're on the house."

"Oh you run this place?" Jasmine hadn't noticed how pale Arizona had got when her suspicions were confirmed.

"With my business partner yeah. In fact..." Jonathon turned to look the peds surgeon in the eye, "She might be around here somewhere. I reckon you would get on very well."

"That would be nice." Jasmine was oblivious.

"Babe," Arizona turned to talk to her girlfriend, "Why don't you get a booth? I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

"Okay." And with a peck on the cheek, the brunette disappeared into the crowd to find a table. The blonde turned back to face the smirking man.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Nothing."

"I don't know what Calliope told you but stay away please."

"You know no-one gets to actually call her that right?"

"Jonathon?"

"She told me that you were in a relationship, I'm guessing with that woman there. That was all, which is odd because we usually share every disgusting detail of our encounters with the same sex. You, clearly are the exception." Arizona looked to the ground, she couldn't stand that that woman had got so far under her skin so soon. "I won't bring it up again and I was joking, I don't think she is coming here tonight."

"Thank you. So where's my free drink?" She figured she should just try to enjoy this evening.

"Coming right up."

Eventually, Arizona was sat back in the booth with Jasmine's arm around her shoulder, listening to the idle chit chat between her girlfriend and Jonathon. He somehow charmed his way into their evening, a trick she guessed he learned from Callie. Dam it! Stop thinking about her, she told herself.

Just when she had started to relax though she caught a glimpse of the Latina leading a woman through a door saying private. Arizona had to swallow the lump in her throat, only being able to guess what was going on the other side. After that she forced herself to join in the conversation at the table before Jasmine realised her mind was somewhere else.

About an hour later her girlfriend was talking about a case she had that day. Jasmine was a Neuro Surgeon at Seattle Press.

"So this guy had a GCS of five and his left pupil was blown..."

"Oh that's nothing!" Jonathon declared.

"What?" Arizona asked "That's not nothing."

"Well Cal survived worse, ain't that right? He had raised his voice to get her attention as she walked back from the bar with a glass of lemonade.

"What you on about now?" She asked in mock annoyance before looking up. She had to sit down when she saw those blue eyes. Before things got too quiet, Jonathon said:

"What was your GCS thingy?"

"Why?" Callie didn't want to talk about this.

"Your Mom told me that time. What was it?"

"Uh, three at its lowest." She gave in.

"And didn't your pupil blow or something?"

The Latina took a deep breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them she found Arizona staring at her. "They both did, the left one twice." She informed the table.

"Wow! What happened?" asked Jasmine who was clearly the one out of the loop.

"I had meningitis"

"Must have been some powerful strain."

"Yeah it was, I spent a week in a coma and should have died but hey, no-one had the perfect childhood right." Callie stood and walked back over to the bar. Arizona only pulled her gaze away when she heard her girlfriend's pager.

"Crap, sorry babe its 911."

"It's okay."

Callie watched again, as she had that morning, as Arizona kissed her girlfriend goodbye. Jonathon was soon by her side.

"Sorry if I pushed things, Cal."

She didn't answer though, instead she rounded the bar and filled her half empty glass of lemonade with scotch.

"Cal." He said in a warning tone but she walked away.

"Is she okay?" He hadn't noticed Arizona walk up next to him.

"You really care?"

"More than I should. She isn't meant to drink right?"

"As long as she has just one, she'll be fine."

"We had an argument earlier. Is that why..."

"She is under your skin right?" He turned to face the blonde who nodded in response. "She does that to everyone. Trust me, I've known her a long time. Only I think you're actually on her mind all the time to. And I've never seen that." He took a deep breath. "You see the door that says private?" After another nod he continued, "Go through it and at the end of the corridor there is another door. On the other side, there are stairs to the roof. That's where she will be." And with that he walked off.

Arizona practically ran through both doors, up the stairs and out onto the roof.

"Do just want a list of my businesses? That will probably make this whole avoiding each other thing much easier." Callie was sat on a park bench which seemed out of place on the bar roof.

"I don't think I can avoid you." She went to sit next to the Latina. The bench faced outwards, overlooking the city skyline. "I'm sorry for this morning; I took my crap out on you which was unfair."

"You think that's why I'm out here drinking?" Callie finally turned to look at the blonde.

"It's not?" When all she received was silence, Arizona said: "I'm sorry I said that you don't care who you sleep with."

"Why it's true. In fact that's kind of the point." The blonde looked at her confused. "Okay so I do care a little. I make sure the person is healthy, obviously but mainly I care that they are as much of a stranger as possible." She declared, taking another sip.

"Because of your brain injury."

"Hey, you are getting better at this."

"Well, the first night we met you said that you could tell me because we weren't gonna have sex."

"I still shouldn't have told you."

"Why not?"

"You look at me differently; I hate it when people do that."

"That's why you don't want people to know? You think that they won't sleep with you?"

"No, I know they won't." Arizona looked at her sadly. "You're giving me the look. You can tell a lot from the way people look at you. That one right there," She pointed at Arizona's face, "That one is "I'm sorry you are the way you are" and that's the worst. No-one wants to sleep with the girl who forgets her own name, or if they do, they're one to avoid. It's worse than the Jesus look."

Once Arizona had regained her composure after the forgetting her name comment, she finally asked: "Jesus look?"

"When I woke up from my coma, everybody including the doctors looked at me like I wasn't meant to be there. I was told all the time that I was a miracle for surviving. I got the Jesus look."

"So why is that a bad thing, I mean what you said downstairs, it does sound miraculous. You're miraculous."

"No, I'm not. I didn't do anything and the story that I tell of what happened it isn't my story. It's my Mom's and she tells everyone with such pride. Tells everyone how she found me unconscious at three o'clock in the morning and how I would have been dead in a few hours. My family talk about that week, about the hospitals and the surgery. They talk about me but I'm not there. That week changed my entire life. Fucked it up in a lot of ways and made it better in others and that's what I got left with. My story of that week is that I came home ill from school one Monday, went to bed, threw up about midnight and woke up in a hospital." A single tear escaped and Arizona moved to hold her hand. "There were bright lights and tubes and wires, anchoring me to my bed. I was eleven and there was a tube down my throat and in my head and a bag of pee by my bed. I got told it was Tuesday and I thought it was the next day till somebody explained how it was a week later. We all thought I was fine though, miraculously." She added with a dark chuckle.

"But you weren't."

"Nope. It sucked and it still does. It scars you and makes it really hard to let people in. So I have friends and family who know. They have seen it. My family were there for the part where I wasn't. I've got friends who have seen me at my worst because of my injury, mainly at school. They are as close as they have to be because they have been there. Sex, sex is a separate thing."

"You're still a miracle though."

"Shut up." She was laughing as she said it. Somehow it didn't piss her off as much when she said it.

"Why should I?"

"There's a lot of pressure in being a miracle."

"Jesus has a lot to live up to, huh?" Both woman were now smiling.

"I told you a lot."

"Hey, I told you about Jas." She cringed at her own mention of her girlfriend's pet name.

"She's an idiot."

"I shouldn't get into this with you."

"Why do you keep saying that, "with me" part?"

"You know why." It was a simple statement but it said everything.

"Okay, but I'm not saying this as someone who wants to get you naked because as we have already established, we're passed that one. However much I would love to." She smirked as Arizona shook her head. "Sorry, but she is an idiot for hurting you. And you are an idiot for pretending everything is fine. I don't know, maybe she is really sorry but still, you shouldn't pretend that it doesn't hurt. I think you're clinging on to what you had but if you aren't happy, don't waste time. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow and when your life flashes before your eyes, you want the last memory to be a good one. So find someone who makes you truly happy, who treats you better than you've ever treated yourself."

The blonde just blushed. "I don't think there is anyone out there like that for me."

"Sure there is. It would be me if I could."

"You're so sure you can't."

"Yep, and I shouldn't experiment on you anyway."

"You really are good at seeing what people don't say."

"Yeah well I explained that. Besides, a sure fire way to get into a girl's bed is to listen to what they say, and don't."

"Should have known it wasn't all from the heart."

"So where'd your girlfriend get to?"

"She got paged to Seattle Press, she's a surgeon to."

"Oh, do you want me to walk you home. It's a late night and a big, dark city?"

Arizona laughed. "I would like that."

"You're still holding my hand." Callie watched as her eyes went wide.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. Come on."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They were had walked halfway to Arizona's apartment in comfortable silence when she spoke again.

"If I hadn't of told you that I had a girlfriend, would you have slept with me?"

"No, you wouldn't have gone through with it. Unless you wanted to level the playing field with her but I don't think you're that kind of person."

"Okay, what if I was single?"

"Most definitely but it would just be for a night and when I made that clear, you would have backed out because you aren't the girl who has one night stands, so it still wouldn't have happened."

"What if you didn't have a brain injury?" Callie stopped still in her tracks. "Sorry that was an unfair question."

The Latina walked to stand straight in front of Arizona.

"If I didn't have my injury, I'd have a completely different life and so I probably wouldn't even live in Seattle let alone own the bar we met in. We would never have met. So we still wouldn't have slept together and I would have missed out even more." Arizona's heart broke at the sad smile on Callie's face.

"And I wouldn't be questioning the relationship I've been in for nearly two years. And I sure as hell wouldn't want to do this." The blonde lent forward and placed a gentle kiss on surprising lips. Soon though, Callie pulled away. Embarrassed, Arizona said: "This is my building, goodnight Calliope."

"You know nobody else is allowed to call me that right?" She asked with the regular flirty smile to show that everything was okay. "Goodnight, Arizona Robbins." She turned and began to walk away.

"How'd you know my last name?"

Callie turned back around and with a shrug of the shoulders she said: "I got a nurse from your hospital naked!" And returned to her walk home, leaving Arizona on her doorstep.


	4. Chapter 4

Arizona had been avoiding Callie ever since the kiss, which was about a week ago. Now however, with a lot of alcohol inside her, she found herself walking through the door which said private in The Acorn bar, again. She was just in time to see a red headed woman leaving an office, which she guessed to be Callie's. The woman was still adjusting her dress and smiling guiltily as she walked past Arizona.

The blonde slumped down the wall opposite the door. A few minutes later Callie emerged in the corridor and immediately sat down next to her after noticing the vodka bottle in Arizona's hand.

"How long have you been out here?"

"Long enough to see the stranger leave. What were you doing in there?"

"You really don't need me to tell you that right?" The peds surgeon shook her head. "How much have you drunk?"

"I don't have work tomorrow."

"So what? You always get wrecked before your day off?"

"We had an argument."

"We did? When?" Arizona smiled slightly.

"Not us, me and Jasmine."

"I was gonna say, the last time I saw you, you kissed me." The blonde's head sank at the memory. "Sorry, is that what the argument was about?"

"No." Arizona turned her head around to look Callie in the eye for the first time tonight. "and don't be sorry for it. I kissed you and you pulled away." After resting her head on a tanned shoulder she continued. "I told her I was unhappy and that I can't really forgive her."

"Oh."

"But we've been together a long time and I don't know if I should walk away. I mean," She paused to take a sip from the bottle, "I mean, it's not as easy as you made out, relationships are work."

"Do you feel guilty for kissing me?"

"Of course I do, I've never..." When her sentence disappeared, Callie spoke again.

"Does she seem to feel guilty for what she did?" That question caused Arizona to sob uncontrollably and the Latina put her arm around her and held her close. "I'm sorry." She whispered in her ear.

"She isn't. Not really, she acts like nothing has happened."

"She ever explain why?" Another round of tears followed. "Sorry," Callie repeated, "There isn't really an excuse for hurting somebody so much, I just meant..."

"I was distant, apparently. I guess that's right; I had a lot going on."

"Like what?"

"My brother, he would have turned thirty, three months ago."

"He's not around anymore?" Arizona slumped further into her shoulder so she was almost talking into Callie's neck.

"He was my little brother, two years younger. He got blown up in Iraq a few years ago and..."

"It still hurts." The blonde nodded.

"Maybe I didn't pay Jas enough attention and..."

"Okay, stop it." Callie ran circles on her lower back with her hand. "You just said relationships are work and well it sounds like you're doing all the work here. Times like that, with your brother, there times to stand up and show you're worth it. A chance to help your partner and you deserve someone whose response isn't to screw someone else. Arizona, you deserve better."

"You're only saying that because you want to get in my pants." Callie tried to grab the almost empty bottle of vodka when Arizona took another swig.

"No I'm saying it because it's the truth and I care about you."

"No, you know what?" The blonde unsteadily stood up and backed back towards the door. "I was fine till you showed up. You with your singing and the whole "could get hit by a bus" thing. I only realised that I feel nothing with Jas because you make me feel everything. It's not fair." She took another step back until her back hit the door as Callie stood up in front of her. "You're not fair." She whispered.

Callie finally got the bottle out of Arizona's hand.

"I'm gonna drive you home now so that you can sleep this off. Then you can think rationally when you're sober."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Half an hour later and Callie had guided the blonde out of the bar and into her car. She had remembered the way from their walk last week and they were now stood in the elevator.

"So which floor is yours?" Instead of answering Arizona just pushed a button on the panel. She hadn't spoken since they had left.

"Sorry." The peds surgeon leant against the wall as they made their ascent.

"It's okay."

"No, I... you were trying to help." Callie was now stood against the opposite wall.

"You're drunk and upset; trust me I've been there enough times." Before she could continue, the doors opened and they stepped out into the hallway. Arizona walked up to a door.

"This is me."

"Goodnight." Just as Callie turned back towards the elevator she heard the apartment door swing open and a voice yell:

"Where the hell have you been? You can't just walk out mid fight. Anything could have happened to you. I mean..." But the rest was cut off as Callie stepped back in the elevator. She ran her hand through raven hair and rubbed her eyes. She was tired and just needed to go home. At that point her phone rang.

"Hey, what's up?" she answered Jonathon's call.

"Nothing, I was just reminding you of our meeting tomorrow with the interior designer."

"Yeah I know, 9 o' clock."

"Cool. Goodnight."

"See you later." So much for a lie in, she thought to herself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile, inside the apartment:

"Where are you going? We haven't finished."

"I'm going to bed so that I can sleep this off. Then I can think rationally when I'm sober."

"Good idea!" Jasmine yelled as the bedroom door slammed.

"Calliope's idea." Arizona mumbled into her pillow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning Callie was sat in the night club that her and her friend had just purchased. The decor was dated and tacky, hence why they were having a meeting.

"What's the point in being in business with a gay guy if you can't design our club yourself?" She asked Jonathon.

"What?" His voice was gruff and his eyes were hidden behind sunglasses.

"Rough night?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I seem to remember a certain doctor getting in your car though."

"I don't want to talk about it." She parroted his statement.

"Hey, way to go." For that he received a swift punch in the arm. "Sorry, so you didn't get yourself some?"

"No, she is still with her girlfriend- kind of."

"Kind of? Sounds hopeful."

"Listen it's complicated. I told her she deserved better but I didn't mean me. That's how she took it though."

"And what? She doesn't want you? Because she hasn't been acting that way."

"No, that's the problem, I think she does."

"Why is that a problem? You've wanted to get with her from the first time you met."

"I can't just sleep with her though, like I said she deserves better than that."

"Okay, well you're good for more than sex Cal, maybe you should actually try a relationship this time."

"Yeah and when I screw things up she gets hurt more than she already is."

"I give up." Jonathon huffed.

"Good because I'm exhausted."

Just then their designer walked down the stairs and into the club.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

That evening, the Latina was sat in her office at The Acorn going through paper work when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." She said tiredly. When she looked up though, she got a bit of a surprise. Arizona Robbins was leant against the door looking incredible. Dressed in a simple navy blue dress, which showed off enough chest and leg, and heels she walked towards the desk.

"Hey." She showed her dimples for the first time since they had first met, a month ago.

"What... What are you doing here?"

"I left Jasmine." Callie stood up and slowly walked around the desk. She put her hands on the desk, either side of Arizona's hips, and leant in close. She couldn't resist.

"So why are you here?" The Latina looked her up and down "Here looking like this?"

"Oh come on Calliope." Neither woman was sure who kissed who first but mouths soon melted into one another in a kiss much more passionate and fierce than the one a week before. Again though, Callie pulled back.

"Tell me you didn't leave her to be with me."

"Why not? Isn't that what you wanted?" Callie buried her head in the crook of the blonde's neck.

"You know it is. I've wanted you from that first night and I can't get you out of my head. I'm losing sleep."

"So take me then." Arizona punctuated her statement by taking the Latina's hand and forcing it between her own legs.

"Oh God." Callie gasped when she felt the moisture through lace panties.

"I've been this way for a month because of you."

Callie pulled back completely. "Just because I want to doesn't mean I should. You need someone better than Jasmine but I can't be that person for you either and it's unfair of you to think I can."

She walked out of her own office and club. She walked, unsure of where she was going but she needed to get out. Out of her head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two hours later Arizona was back in her apartment about to get changed when there was a knock at the door. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest when she saw Callie through the peephole. As soon as she opened the door, the Latina was inside and had the blonde up against the wall, kissing her till lips were bruised.

"I thought..." But she lost all coherent thought when Callie's mouth was on her neck. She ran her hands through raven coloured hair but they were pulled away and held above her head.

"This is what you want right?" A part of her hoped Arizona said no but when she was told yes, that was it. She lifted the navy dress over her blonde head in seconds. Suddenly, she felt her legs get lifted off the floor and wrapped around strong hips as Callie held her up. In return, she lifted off her shirt and through it across the apartment.

"Bedroom?" Callie asked in between fierce kisses.

Somehow they found their way to Arizona's bed and she took the opportunity to take of the Latina's pants so they were both in only their underwear. Whilst kissing down her pale chest, Callie took of the bra which was stopping her access to perfect breasts.

Arizona couldn't quite register what was happening, it was all so fast. Strong hands lifted her hips and peeled of her drenched panties before placing both of her legs on Callie's shoulders. She leant forward, over Arizona who gasped at the sudden feeling of being so open and vulnerable. Kisses were placed on the inside of her knees and thighs and she relaxed. Skilled fingers trailed down the backs of her thighs and toyed with her entrance.

The blonde saw something different in Callie's eyes. They were glazed yet still intense. Her vision went blurry though and she was lost in a heady fog when her lover began to thrust two fingers inside her purposefully. Callie's left hand held the blonde's right thigh on her shoulder whilst her mouth continued to caress and suck on the flesh.

Soon, Arizona saw dark spots appear and she was gone. She had never had such an intense orgasm before and she struggled to keep her eyes open. She groaned as Callie removed herself from her core and felt her leg gently placed back on the mattress. The bed shifted as her partner lay down next to her.

Callie lay there for two hours. She couldn't sleep. In fact she just wanted to cry. When she was sure Arizona was out for the count, she rolled out of bed and got dressed. "I'm sorry." She whispered into the dark room.

She went home and stood in her shower until she collapsed into a heap on the floor, sobbing.

"You stupid bitch!" She yelled to herself as the weight of what she'd done.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arizona woke up the next morning and knew she was alone. She could feel the cold sheets. It still stung though when she opened her eyes and saw that she was in an empty bed in an empty apartment, naked.

Before she could really process everything her alarm went off and she remembered that she had to go to work.


	5. Chapter 5

Callie was awoken at 10 o'clock the next morning by her phone ringing. At first she was relieved that it didn't say Arizona. Coward. She thought to herself. Then she got worried when she saw the caller I.D.

"Hey, Janet, is everything okay?" She was still groggy from sleep.

"No!" The other voice exclaimed. "James got pushed over in the showers at school and he is unconscious."

"Oh no, I'm so sorry. I will be right there. What hospital are you at?" Please don't say it.

"Seattle Grace Mercy West." There was a short pause as Callie processed it. James is sixteen so this would be a peds case. Suck it up, she told herself.

"I'll be there."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arizona was stood in her patient's room next to Derek Shepherd who was explaining the surgery to Mr and Mrs Harris. Their son had been pushed at school and he now needed a craniotomy. At that moment the one person she had not expected to see stormed in.

"Hey, Janet, I am so sorry." She pulled the boy's mother into a hug. "I should have known something was wrong."

"Don't blame yourself sweetheart, we all know you've been his lifeline." James's father said as she hugged him to.

"Sorry Tom, really." She turned to finally make eye contact with Arizona. "How bad is it?"

Derek answered for his speechless colleague. "James needs surgery and there is really no way to tell what kind of damage there is yet."

"His injury could get worse though, right?" The worried mother was asking Callie more than the doctors. She shifted back to speak to the parents.

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it okay? I saw James's principal out in the hall. Do want to go and explain or would you rather I took care of that?"

"Would you mind?" The man asked as he put his arm around his wife.

"Please, it's the least I could do." She declared as she moved to stand next to the focus of everyone's attention. "Hey James, come on kid you've gotta stop scaring us." With that she left the room, totally ignoring the blonde. The neuro surgeon had already left to prepare for surgery.

"How do you know that woman?" Arizona finally asked her patient's parents.

"Callie? She runs a centre for kids with acquired brain injuries. James is there all the time. It has really helped us all."

"I'll give you some time with your son before the surgery."

Once she was out in the waiting room she searched for the Latina but couldn't find her.

A few hours later she had finished her charting and visiting patients and still had an hour before her only scheduled surgery. She decided to look for Callie again as she had seemed to of disappeared. Arizona was unsuccessful until she walked out of the main entrance. She walked up to the bench where the other woman was sat. As soon as Callie noticed the blonde she stood up to walk away. Arizona grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Don't you dare walk away again Calliope." Without saying a word or making eye contact, she sat back down and waited for Arizona to do the same.

"I'm sorry." Was all she could say. "Last night was a mistake."

"How did I not know about this centre you run?" Callie looked at her in confusion.

"It... it never came up." This was not what she had expected; there was no confrontation in her tone.

"I wasn't using you, last night I didn't just want rebound sex."

"I know. This would be a lot easier if you were."

"You'd really rather be used than..."

"Yeah!" She interrupted the end of her question. "I know I have no right to ask but I can't get into this right now. I'm tired and I know that you don't get what that means but I just can't do this. I'm sorry." Arizona nodded. "I should have known. The boys that pushed James had been tormenting him for months but he never said. I saw him twice a week for six months and I didn't realise. I mean, I knew something was wrong. I told him about all the crap I had at school but it wasn't enough." Callie put her face in her hands to wipe the tears and Arizona put her hand on her back for comfort.

"He is still in surgery but he is doing okay. Calliope, what kind of crap did you get?"

"I got called names mostly."

"Like what?"

"Retard was always a popular one." It broke Arizona's heart. "Don't worry about it. I got over all that a long time ago; it just hurts when it's happening to the kids. I should have done more."

"Sweetheart, those parents said that you were their son's lifeline. You did all you could."

"It wasn't enough though."

"Come on." Arizona stood up and put out her hand.

"Why?"

"Well I have a surgery and I'm not gonna leave you on your own. Besides, James's Mom and Dad want to see you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After she scrubbed out of her surgery, Arizona went to check on James.

"Dr. Shepherd said that the surgery went well." She said, making her presence known.

"Yeah, we're just waiting for him to wake up now." Mrs Harris replied as she walked towards the blonde. "It's her that I'm worried about." She explained as she pointed the lone Latina sat in the hall with her head in her hands.

"She said she was tired."

"Yes well, we all know what that means." When Arizona looked at her blankly she continued. "She's like James, well like all of them. That's why all the kids love her. She's not another doctor or professional. She's just the same, only older with a bit more understanding. When they say they're tired they mean that their brain is shutting down."

"Shutting down." Arizona repeated to herself, never taking her eyes of Callie.

"Brain like an old, crappy computer." Tom Harris supplied from his place by James's bed. "That's how she described it. My son fell out of a tree when he was six and nobody was able to explain to us what was going on until we met Callie. It all made sense. She said that her brain was like a computer that gets slower, the longer it's on and it's more difficult to process information or recover files. Suddenly there was a light in James's eyes again."

"He wasn't alone." His wife finished. "She introduced him to other kids like him and us to other parents. She is a good woman but she spends so much time looking after us and I don't think anybody looks after her. Cause she'll say that she doesn't need it."

Arizona turned back to the room. "I'm sorry about your son, I will be back tomorrow. Try to get some sleep."

As she walked out into the hall she shook of her professionalism, her shift was over anyway. She sat down next to Callie and wrapped an arm around her back. Her other hand intertwined with the Latina's, forcing her to look up. Arizona placed a delicate kiss on her temple and whispered in her ear.

"If you dare tell me that I deserve better, I'm gonna kick the crap out of you. You are amazing." When Callie shook her head, she raised her voice ever so slightly, "You turned the worst thing that has ever happened to you into a way to help others. That is incredible. And I know that you don't see this because you are too stuck in your ways but you need somebody who just loves you, all of you and can take care of you. And that person is sat right next to you. Don't tell me what I deserve and don't tell me that last night was a mistake. I'm gonna drive you home okay?"

Callie could only nod as she tried to take in what she just heard.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Amazingly, Callie managed to direct the blonde to her apartment. Once inside, she made a beeline for her bed and collapsed fully clothed on top. Arizona was still practically in the doorway. Looking around she saw a spacious, open living area to her left. Directly opposite was a kitchen on the other side of the room. Just before was the door that Callie had disappeared into. Walking through it, she found the Latina lying on her side facing the centre of the bed. She lay down beside her and drifted off to sleep peacefully. An hour later, she woke but found that Callie hadn't moved. So Arizona watched as she continued in her slumber for what turned out to be another hour.

Eventually, piercing brown eyes opened to find bright blue ones staring back. A slow smile appeared on Callie's face.

"What?"

"I remember what you said."

"And?" Arizona was now smiling to.

"I don't normally remember things after I've got tired."

"And you've shut down."

"Yeah, how did you..."

"I spoke to James's parents."

"Oh, is that when you had your epiphany?"

"Calliope?" They were yet to break eye contact.

"Yes?"

"Last night, it was like you were drunk or possessed. Your eyes were glazed over and..."

"Did I hurt you?" Callie asked panicked. "You wanted to, I thought I checked. If I did anything."

She was cut off by soft lips on hers.

"Yes, you checked. Yes, I said yes and no, you didn't hurt me."

"I tell my kids not to have sex when they are tired. I give them all of the stuff about waiting for the right person but most importantly, I tell them to be fully with it because even if the other person is perfect, it will screw it up for them. I broke my own rule. I was exhausted when you showed up, looking like that, and the last functioning part of my brain told me to walk away."

"And you did."

"After that, I'm not sure what happened. I was walking around and then I was at your door. You were all I could think about. When I knocked, there was a small part of me that wished you wouldn't answer. Then when I asked if you really wanted to go through with it, the same part wished you'd say no. Then I don't really remember. That's what hurts the most. I might only get one chance with you and I wasted it because I can't even remember." Callie was now openly sobbing into Arizona's neck. The blonde wrapped her arms around her as a tear fell down her own cheek.

"Why didn't you stay? If you had explained..."

"I thought if I left, you'd never wanna see me again and you could get on with your life without a screw up like me."

"I'd never get over you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise for things that aren't your fault."

No more was said and they both drifted back to sleep for another few hours.


	6. Chapter 6

"Yeah, okay an hour is fine. Thank you." Arizona hung up the phone and looked down at the Latina who was still curled into her.

"Who were you talking to?" Callie asked as she slowly lifted her eyelids.

"I ordered some pizza, if that's okay?"

"You didn't need to do that."

"Yes," She leant down to kiss her beautiful mouth, "I did. You need food."

"I can cook you know." She was still dazed from sleeping.

"I'm looking after you."

"Then you can cook."

"Ordering me about hey?" Arizona couldn't help but smile at how natural this felt, her arms around Callie. A long finger gently poked one of her dimples, causing her to giggle.

"You know, the only thing cuter than your dimples is your giggle?" Callie placed her hand back down on Arizona's chest. She couldn't really remember the last time anybody just held her.

"It has been said before." After another slow, soft kiss, Callie stood up and said:

"I'm just gonna jump in the shower, make yourself at home. There is food and drink in the kitchen."

"Okay." She watched the brunette disappear through another door in the bedroom and got up. She was surprised to find a bottle of white wine in the fridge and poured herself a glass. After a few sips she began to look around. The apartment was more homely than she had anticipated. Not that Callie wasn't warm- far from it but all her bars and coffee houses lacked soft furnishings. Arizona noticed that past the dining table, which was adjacent to the kitchen, there were floor to ceiling glass windows and doors that opened up onto a balcony. She placed her glass down on the coffee table and walked over to a cabinet beside the bedroom door. On top were several pictures of what Arizona presumed to be Callie's family.

Just then the bedroom door opened and out stepped the Latina in nothing but a pair of black shorts, white tank top and red hooded jumper. The blonde blushed when she got caught checking her out.

"What? You've seen me naked already." Arizona shook her head,

"Not exactly, your underwear stayed on. Mine didn't." Callie closed her eyes as she got a flashback.

"Sorry, I just remembered that detail."

"It's okay." The brunette stepped behind her and wrapped her arms around the small waist, placing her chin on Arizona's shoulder.

"Is this okay?" She asked the blonde cautiously.

"You're the one with intimacy issues." She stated rubbing her hands up Callie's arms. "Calliope?"

"Arizona?" That got a smile before turning more serious.

"Why'd you have a half empty bottle of wine in your fridge when you don't drink regularly?"

"For when I entertain people."

"You always go for girls who drink white wine?"

"No, I mean when I have friends round. I don't ever invite woman back here."

"Because then they're less of a stranger."

"You are getting really good at seeing what I don't say."

"Well you're worth paying attention to. So how come I get to see the inside of your apartment?"

"You know why." Callie placed a feather light kiss of her neck and she melted.

"I meant what I said at the hospital you know?"

"I know but I'm not ready to say it back yet. I'm sorry."

"Hey, you'd be crazy to say something so huge after only a month."

"So you're crazy then?" They stood in sweet silence until Arizona pointed at the photos in front of them.

"So who are this lot then?" Callie explained about all of the pictures and who was in them until there was knocking at the door. She moved towards the door until she was pulled back.

"I can collect pizza Arizona."

"Fine but here's the money." She said as she took the cash out of her pocket. "You want a drink?"

"Please." Without even asking, she went and poured Callie a glass of lemonade before sitting on the sofa next the Latina.

They ate and talked openly about their families and eventually she got up the courage to ask:

"Can I ask about your brother?"

"Tim? He was my best friend growing up because we moved around so much. Well, him and Nick- this boy we always ended up being stationed with." A warm smile formed at the memories; then it vanished. "Every man in our family for generations had joined the military so it wasn't a shock when Tim did." She shrugged. "He had already completed a couple of tours but the last one he didn't come back alive."

Callie moved to pull her into her lap and hold her close.

"He'd be so proud of what you've become since, right?" Arizona nodded against her chest. "Are you working tomorrow?"

"No, why?"

"Would you like to spend the day with me?"

"I'd love to."

"Well Saturdays I spend at the centre; I know it's not massively romantic but..."

"I'd love to."

"I can give everyone the update on James." His mother had phoned during their meal to say that he had woken up but was still groggy. "We can visit him first though."

"Sounds great." After a long pause,

"Arizona?" The blonde pulled back to look her in the eye.

"Calliope?" Causing both woman to smile.

"I have no right to ask this..." She was interrupted by another delicate kiss.

"I'm gonna need some PJ's"

"You'll really stay?"

"Don't be so surprised."

By 10 o'clock, both were now back in bed facing each other.

"You know, just cause I have to sleep a lot doesn't mean you do."

"I'm actually pretty tired and I like watching you sleep."

Callie pretended to get out of bed, "Weirdo." Once the giggles had died down, Arizona stretched out her hand and caressed a tanned cheek. She slowly began to run it through dark hair before Callie removed it.

"Why won't you let people run their hands through your hair?"

"Arizona, that's an easy one." The Latina stated with the usual sad smile.

"Scar."

"Scar." Callie confirmed.

"It will bother me as much as this one." Arizona gently trailed her fingers across a scar on the other woman's lower abdomen. It must have been an appendectomy in the days before laparoscopic techniques.

Smiling at the contact, she replied "Having my appendix removed is..." But she sighed heavily and gave up. Callie reached over and took the pale hand and placed on her own head. "Happy now?"

Arizona applied a little pressure and felt an indentation in the top, right side. It wasn't huge but it was definitely noticeable.

"It's not so bad." She finally supplied.

"It's kind of a symbol for everything that could go wrong here." The blonde shook her head and kissed the scar before allowing Callie to snuggle in close to her chest.

"Time to sleep now."

"Now who's ordering who?"

"Goodnight Calliope."

"Goodnight."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning Callie woke Arizona up by gently blowing on her earlobe. The blonde scrunched up her face at the ticklish sensation and rolled away from Callie's laughing. She turned off of her stomach however, when the brunette began kissing her neck.

"Morning."

"Morning." Callie replied as she leant over Arizona. She then dipped her head down and kissed pink lips with all the love she had. After a few minutes they broke for air. "I need to get ready." She said regretfully.

"Okay, I'll get breakfast." With another peck on the cheek Arizona left the room.

When Callie was dressed she stood in the doorway for a few minutes until Arizona caught her staring.

"What?" The blonde asked with a hint of self consciousness. The Latina just walked and sat down at the breakfast bar.

"You're just incredibly beautiful."

"Charmer." Arizona sat in the chair next her and placed to plates of eggs and bacon down. When she noticed the look on Callie's face she asked, "Is this okay."

"Yeah," She paused to wipe a stray bit of ketchup from the Surgeon's lip, "It's just not what I normally have for breakfast."

"What do you normally have?"

"Oatmeal and a fruit smoothie."

"Wow, that sounds mind-numbingly healthy." Arizona joked.

"Yeah well it helps to be healthy."

"What? Helps your head?" Callie smiled when the blonde spoke like she was asking about the weather,

"Yeah you know, eat well and keep fit means I get tired less easily."

"Sorry for ruining your programme."

"Please you couldn't ruin anything if you tried." She spoke absent minded, eating without concern. "It tastes too good anyway. And I slept better than in a long time, so thank you."

"My pleasure."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arizona drove both women back to the hospital because Callie had had to leave her car there the day before. After dropping the brunette, she went home to shower and change. When she got back to James's room, she couldn't quite bring herself to go in.

Instead she stood at the window, watching the two interact. They were like old friends. She suddenly felt somebody stood next to her and when she saw that it was Mrs. Harris, she smiled warmly.

"He is doing a lot better today."

"Yes," The mother replied, "He seems to be okay for the most part. We're at the glad he's alive stage but beyond that there is no way to tell if he is okay until he gets out of here. She seems to be doing better as well, thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?" Confused by the older woman's powers of perception.

"Oh please, even James could sense the tension between you two, and he was comatose." She joked. "Then you came back here and listen to us for a bit but you never took your eyes off of her. And then you walked her out of here. It doesn't take a genius. You're still staring by the way."

Arizona was pulled out of her gaze and asked "How did you know? Yesterday you looked at her and just knew she was shutting down. Is it every time she's tired?"

"No and if you start searching for it, you will go crazy and so will she. If you spend enough time around somebody with an ABI, you get good at spotting the signs. Mainly there is a look in their eye."

"Glazed over?" Arizona could remember from two nights ago.

"Yeah but even then there a differences and each sufferer has different effects."

Arizona ran her hands through her hair. "You will get there eventually." Mrs. Harris insisted.

It was at that point that Callie came out of the room.

"Hey Janet, he's doing well."

"He is."

"Where's Tom?"

"Oh, on the phone to his sister, giving her an update." The brunette then asked Arizona:

"Are you ready to go?"

"Whenever you are."

"Are you going to Adams' house today?" Janet asked.

"Yeah, I'm gonna introduce her to the rabble." Callie explained as she put an arm around the blonde's waist.

"Well say hello to everyone from me." She then went into her son's room and left the two women to walk to Callie's car.


	7. Chapter 7

A short car journey later and they were stood outside of a large white building with "ADAMS'S HOUSE" plastered in large red letters above the door.

"Why Adams's house?"

"Miss Adams was one of my teachers at school. She was one of the few who really understood and she stuck up for me a lot about my attendance." Callie explained. "Come on." She took Arizona's hand and led her inside. As soon as they entered, the noise of children laughing hit them. Before they reached the end of a small hallway, a young boy- roughly 13- was stood in they're way.

"Hey Billy." Callie greeted him. "You okay?" The boy nodded but his attention was mainly on Arizona which made her feel slightly uncomfortable. "This is Arizona. She is allowed here whenever she wants." The Latina bent down to whisper a little too loudly: "She is kind of awesome." Billy took another look at the blonde and smiled widely.

"Hello Arizona."

"Hi Billy." She replied but he had already gone further into the building. She turned to Callie with a questioning look.

"Some kids with ABIs also have symptoms of OCD, Autism and ADHD. Billy likes to know everyone in the room in order to feel relaxed. You're new so he wasn't sure."

"And what, you tell him I'm awesome and he just believes you?"

"Yeah, he trusts me. And he will never forget your name or face so he won't stop you in the future."

Arizona just beamed at her with pride, unsure when she would stop being surprised by this woman. She followed when Callie moved into the open area and took note of how busy it was. There were kids on computers and video games whilst others just sat around talking animatedly. None had even noticed them until the brunette shouted:

"Morning!" Everyone was suddenly focused their attention onto Callie.

"How's James?" One boy shouted from his position on the gaming chair.

"He had to have surgery but he's doing well. I spoke to him earlier and he said to tell you, Harry, that you will never beat his high score on Mario Brothers." When the laughing died down, she spoke again, "Everybody this is Arizona Robbins," As she spoke she placed her arm on her shoulders, "She wanted to meet you guys so don't be afraid to ask questions."

The kids soon went back to their previous activities. "What's up?" she asked Arizona when she saw her staring at one of the children.

"That girl?" She nodded in the direction of a red headed girl.

"Hannah."

"She was one of my patients. Hit by a car right?"

"Yeah." Callie responded sadly.

"I patched up her insides whilst Derek performed surgery on her head. It was a couple of years ago. We just sent her on her way and never thought..." Callie grabbed both of her shoulders and forced eye contact.

"You did your job and saved her life. And then another kid needed you to save theirs and you did because you are an amazing surgeon. You are the reason that Hannah is here."

Arizona leant forward, forgetting where they were momentarily and kissed Callie. It was over quickly but not quick enough.

"Wahoo!" Screamed one of the boys.

"Go Callie!" Yelled another.

"Whoops." Arizona whispered.

"Okay shows over you lot." Callie began to walk off and the blonde was quick on her heels. "This," She said when they reached the next room, "Is the kitchen, obviously. Mainly here because the kids need food but also because," Another pause followed as she went to stand next a man who was cooking something in a large pot, "Also because a lot of them get nervous."

"Nervous?"

"Well there are things which can hurt them, knives and flames for example, and sometimes feeling incapable stresses them out and then they shut down, do something wrong and hurt themselves. It's a vicious circle. So this is a safe place where they can try to cook if they want because it's always supervised. Isn't that right, Simon?"

"Yes Callie." He answered. "You must be Arizona." He shook her hand, "The one who caused all the noise out there."

"Lunch almost ready?" Callie interrupted to save her blushes.

"Ten minutes." He informed her.

The brunette took Arizona's hand again and they walked back through the main area to some stairs leading up.

"What's up there?" She asked as she sat so her and the Latina were side by side on the stairs, watching the teenagers.

"My office and room's for the support workers and tutors."

"Tutors?"

"It's hard enough to get through a whole day of school so to come home and face mountains of homework is impossible so we offer support. There is also a gym downstairs, also fully supervised."

"I thought these guys struggle with fatigue though?" Callie was glad that Arizona was so interested in this place. She never really let anyone into this part of her life but couldn't help but trust the blonde.

"Just because we get mentally tired doesn't mean we do physically and that can sometimes make it impossible to sleep. So if they want they can use the gym and as well, like I said before, keeping fit generally can help us to manage our condition better. Besides a lot of boys join gyms when they turn sixteen/ seventeen and this way we can keep an eye on them and their parents are more comfortable."

"So do you use the gym when you're need to wear yourself out?" Her voice had lowered incase anybody was listening. Callie whispered in her ear:

"I can usually find more fun ways to work up a sweat." Once Arizona had got over the chills she replied:

"We almost went twenty-four hours without sex being mentioned."

"I never said anything about sex, you have a one track mind."

"When is this place open?"

"Weekends: 10 till 10 and weekdays: 10 till 8."

"Aren't the kids in school?"

"Most of the time." Arizona needed more of an explanation. "When I was at school I would miss at least one day a week, these guys are the same. And then there are those that ditch and need a place to go."

"You just let them ditch?" Callie took a deep breath and tried to explain.

"I'm guessing you liked school."

"Yeah."

"Right because you were pretty, smart, funny and so probably very popular. For us, school is hell. It's five different lessons, requiring five different skills and five different lots of homework and equipment to remember. And in between there is so much social interaction with peers and authority figures. The whole thing is exhausting. School is the number one way to make an ABI kid shut down. When that happens we get off our school bus at the wrong stop and forget how to get home. Or we can't even have a conversation with our own parents because we can't understand what they are saying, can't remember the answer to their question or just stumble over our words. School does that and those guys are brave as hell for facing it when they do but, for the sake of their sanity, sometimes they have to ditch." Arizona was floored by how involved Callie was in all this. Every time she spoke it made her realise that she had gone through this to, was going through this.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"Lunch!" Simon yelled from the kitchen and the pair joined everyone else around the huge dinner table. There were roughly twenty teenagers and five adults. Conversation flowed as they ate their meal till one voice asked:

"Arizona?"

"Yes?" She answered the mousy haired boy.

"Why are you named after a state?"

"I'm not." She answered coyly.

"Okay, why are you named after a battleship?"

"What?" A very confused Callie asked.

"The U.S.S Arizona was bombed in Pearl Harbour." He said as if everyone knew. The Latina whispered to her,

"George is good with facts and figures, especially war."

"Well, George my Granddad was serving on it when the Japanese hit and he saved nineteen men. My Dad thought it was a good name."

"How come I didn't know that?"

"It never came up." Before she had a chance to take another mouthful,

"Arizona?" This time it was a girl, "What do you do, like for a job?"

"I'm a surgeon." Suddenly the room went quiet.

"We don't like doctors." Hannah supplied.

"Hey!" Callie interrupted, "Doctors like Arizona save lives, lives like yours so you are gonna have to see past the M.D at the end of her name, I did."

"Arizona?"

"Are you guys gonna let her eat?"

"Its fine Calliope, what is it Harry?"

"Are you Callie's girlfriend?" Callie chocked slightly on her food but the blonde just responded,

"Yes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX X

After their lunch, Callie excused herself to go sort out some things in her office so Arizona just hung out with the kids. Time flew past and she didn't realise that it was already evening. When the brunette came down the stairs, she found all the kids crowding round a T.V screen, cheering. She soon realised that Arizona was in the middle.

"Come on Arizona!" Harry was screaming. There was a quiet second before...

"Yes!" was shouted at the tops of everyone's voices. After a round of high fives, George explained that Arizona had beaten James's high score. The blonde over-enthusiastically ran into Callie's arms.

"I'm glad you are having fun but seeing as I got pulled away..."

"To your hiding place." Arizona finished with a nudge.

"I wondered if you'd let me cook for you."

"That sounds prefect."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX

It took another fifteen minutes to say goodbye but eventually they were back by the car.

"Would you mind driving?"

"No, are you okay Calliope?"

Callie turned to look her square in the eye, almost insulted by the question. "I am getting a little tired so I would like you to drive so I can rest. This isn't like the other night."

"Alright, I was just checking."


	8. Chapter 8

Callie hadn't been lying when she said that she could cook. Once they had finished their dinner, they remained sat at the table talking for almost an hour.

"So, Harry's question got you all flustered earlier." The blonde giggled.

"No it didn't." Arizona gave her a look to show that she knew she was lying. "Okay, honestly, I've never actually had a girlfriend and you only broke up with your last one like four days ago. Then we had sex under the wrong circumstances so I wasn't sure."

"That's why you ran off."

"I did actually have things to do."

"Like?"

"Phone calls. Ones about the summer retreat for the kids, ones from James's principal and parents and then one from Jonathon in a crisis which was followed by an hour on hold with the insurance company." She sighed.

"What happened?"

"You know The Bay?"

"The gay bar down by the harbour?"

"Yeah well, it's one of ours and a pipe burst."

"Couldn't he have handled it?"

"Jonathon was refereeing a fight between our contractor and interior designer over at our new night club."

Arizona stood from the table. "And I thought I had responsibilities."

"You do, you save lives."

She grabbed Callie's hand and pulled her to her feet. "So do you." She countered.

"What are you doing?" But her question was answered as the blonde pressed some buttons on the audio system. Suddenly Earth Wind and Fire was playing.

"Do you remember the 21st night of September?"

"I," Arizona wrapped her arms around the Latina's neck, "am dancing with my girlfriend." So they danced to a few songs on the soul album on shuffle but slowed their pace when the next song began to play:

"You are so beautiful..." Callie was joining in and singing quietly in Arizona's ear.

"Me and Jasmine were over long before I met you. I shouldn't have said what I did when I was drunk."

"You don't need to apologise darling."

"I'm actually grateful to you. You make me feel everything and that's never going to be wrong."

The brunette smiled into blonde hair and held on tighter around her waist.

"Being my girlfriend is a lot to handle. You are great and you make me happy but my injury always screws things up. It tries to take all the good things I have. If you can't handle it, I need you to leave now because I'm falling for you and it will hurt too much months down the line."

Arizona took a deep breath and whispered to Callie "I won't let it win."

She drew back and saw nothing but conviction in blue eyes. Her heart swelled and pounded simultaneously. Capturing soft pink lips in her own, she moaned as fingers ran through her hair. The blonde ran her tongue along Callie's lower lip before sucking it into her mouth briefly dragging her teeth over the inside.

After a quick pause for breath, the Latina began to explore the warmth of Arizona's mouth. Her hands moved under her top and grazed gently around the pale waist and up to just below her lover's breasts. Without request, the surgeon lifted her arms to allow the top to be removed. Arizona then did the same to Callie's and led them into the bedroom.

The brunette took her time skimming her hands up the toned back whilst kissing across her porcelain neck. She quickly undid the clasp on Arizona's bra but slowly pulled the straps down her arms until the item fell to the floor.

She knew this was different, at her apartment, Callie wasn't really engaged but now, she was making this all about Arizona. Selfishly, she ignored the feeling that this was some sort of apology because it felt too good. She also knew that Callie needed this for herself and she was just letting it happen.

Tanned hands began a slow descent from her shoulders down. Palms applied a little pressure on erect nipples- just enough to tease- but never stopped on their journey south till they reached Arizona's belt buckle. The brunette's mouth was still giving her delicious attention on every square centimetre of neck and she just gripped on raven hair. It was becoming painful how much time Callie was taking, a stark contrast to the last time.

Open mouth kisses were placed down the length of her body; following the Latina's hands as she removed Arizona's pants and underwear in one go. The blonde gasped sharply as, on her way back to a standing position, Callie licked up her slit and didn't stop until she reached her partner's earlobe.

The surgeon removed every item of clothing preventing access to her lover's incredible body. Arizona's more hurried pace caused Callie to laugh which cut through the immense sexual energy, if only briefly. When she tried to get them on the bed, the Latina refused to move, producing a pout on pink lips. It quickly vanished as the blonde felt herself be gently lifted up and around Callie's body. Passionate kisses started between the pair again.

With long, ivory legs wrapped around her waist she knelt on the mattress and lowered herself to lie on top of Arizona. They rolled around the bed and over each other's bodies. Hands and tongues exploring and devouring supple flesh. Moans got increasingly loud over time.

Eventually, Callie took the lead and topped her girlfriend. Her girlfriend. It sounded so good in her head. There was a wonderfully terrifying feeling that she would always be Arizona's as she was equally hers.

Finally, she gave the blonde some friction by drawing circles with one index finger around her swollen clit.

"Oh God!" Arizona whimpered. Callie swallowed the next moan with an intense kiss as she switched to push down on the bundle of nerves with her thumb.

"Calliope?"

"Arizona?" She mimicked their game from yesterday but her lover was in no mood. She could feel a tightness begin to pull in her stomach but it was fleeting. She needed more.

"Please" The surgeon begged.

"What?" Arizona held onto the bed sheets for support. "I'll give you everything you want but you need to tell me." Callie whispered in her ear.

"Inside."

"Like this?" she teased as two fingers began circling her entrance.

"Yes... deeper!" She screamed as her request was fulfilled but then whined as the digits failed to move again.

"Now what?" The Latina locked eyes with bright blues.

"Fuck me Calliope!" Came the strangled response and unable to deny such a dirty mouth, she began thrusting. Her pace was slow at first but built and built until hips rose to meet her. Callie put her own hips behind her hand and curled her fingers. An entirely new noise filled the room as the brunette had found the perfect spot and it immediately became her favourite sound.

The tightening in Arizona's abdomen had now taken over her entire body as she was ripped apart by the force of her orgasm. Her core contracted around her partner's fingers which were dripping with the liquid sex that had erupted from deep within.

"Calliope!" Was the last scream before the blonde straightened her arched back and came down from her high. She whined in protest when Callie pulled out and could not help how unresponsive she was when the Latina kissed her again. She had literally had her mind blown.

"You're... mean."

"Well it worked." The brunette replied as she licked the juices off one of her fingers.

"Very self assured." Callie took her other wet finger, ran it across Arizona's top lip and moved her mouth to her ear.

"Why don't you lick your own scent of your own lip if you don't believe me." She watched as her girlfriend did just that and knew she'd never seen anything so hot.

"Mmmm, I taste pretty good but I bet you taste better." She surprised Callie by running a single finger through her folds and bringing it to her mouth. "Yeah, you're delicious." She rolled them over and licked across her partner's jaw line to her ear, "And i'm gonna have all I can eat."

"Fuck." Was all Callie could formulate. With a smirk on her face, Arizona started to work her up into a needy wreck. Nobody topped her and nobody wound her strings so tight. She was loving it though.


	9. Chapter 9

Callie had little choice but to lie back and let Arizona do what she wanted. All Arizona wanted to do was worship her girlfriend mind, body and soul. She kissed down caramel skin to full breasts whilst bracing her own weight on her forearms either side of Callie's body. The blonde then stroked up the valley between the breasts with her tongue and the brunette struggled to stifle the moan produced.

Both woman caught the others gaze for a still second and smiled lovingly until Arizona broke the moment by suddenly sucking a dark nipple in her mouth. At the same time, she began massaging Callie's left breast forcefully with her hand. The Latina had never felt such a skilled mouth on her before was quickly losing her senses. She arched her back in an attempt to force more contact.

The surgeon's tongue continued to trail downwards and dipped into her belly button before Arizona placed open mouth kisses all over her stomach, occasionally nipping the skin. To stress the need which had taken over her body, Callie bucked her hips and grabbed a fistful of blonde hair. Arizona knew what she wanted but couldn't resist a little pay back.

"Open your legs wider." Her command was met and she wrapped her arms around the thighs by her head to keep them in position.

"Oh god!" Was Callie's reaction as her girlfriend simply blew on her clit. Arizona Robbins was going to kill her but at least she'd enjoy it. Arizona then kissed along the crease where leg met pelvis on both sides and the Latina began bucking her hips repeatedly. She felt her body go limp though when two fingers suddenly pinched her clit between them. She was about to melt into the mattress when Arizona pulled her tongue through her folds. She felt an intense fire burn deep within her as the surgeon began swirling her tongue around her clit and then lowering it to her entrance and swiping it across the spongy walls inside. She repeated her actions and felt her hair being pulled by her lover who was screaming incoherently into the empty room.

Callie came harder than she could remember when Arizona sucked her bundle of nerves into her mouth fully and put so much pressure on it, it was almost unbearable.

She crashed over the edge but wasn't scared where she would land. For once, Callie wasn't looking for an exit because she never wanted to leave and she knew where she should be. It was right here, in her bed with the woman she hadn't even allowed herself to dream of. The Latina wanted to stay in this place forever. This place filled with hope and honesty and love.

When she had finally felt her breathing level out and her heart had stopped pounding in her ears, Arizona was back level with her. Recovering from their amorous activities, they wrapped their arms and legs around each other and lay looking into their partner's eyes. Both seeing so much in the intense darkness.

Arizona was the first to speak. "Is there anything we can do?"

"How'd you mean?"

"Medically."

"What to fix me?"

"Yeah, not that I don't love you the way you are but it kills me what you go through and what those kids do to. If we could stop it from happening... but then you wouldn't be you I guess and... like you said, we would never have met and oh my god... how can something so great have come from something so horrible. I..."

Callie interrupted her with a kiss and a whispered "I love you." Against her lips.

"Really?"

"Are you kidding?"

"I'm sorry that I ramble a lot."

"It's cool I will just kiss you a lot. You're allowed to feel conflicted Arizona. I have my whole life."

"How am I supposed to feel?" She asked pleadingly.

"I can't answer that. Whatever you feel, just feel it and if we are going to be real then you can't bottle it up. You're right, my injury causes pain and fear and loneliness and you wouldn't be human if you didn't wish it away but then you'll remember that it's a part of me and so a part of us. Then you'll get confused. There will be times when you just wanna scream at it and it's important that you do."

"How can I scream at it?"

"Well it's in my head so scream at me." Callie shrugged.

"I'm not gonna scream at you Calliope."

"Why not? I scream at me and it seems to help."

"Calliope."

"Okay, I'm a wreck. I suck at emotions. When I'm tired, I don't connect to anything, least of all my feelings. They are the first thing to fly out of the window, along with empathy. If you disconnect yourself from yours though, we don't stand a chance darling."

"Okay." Arizona raised her head and Callie took the hint and kissed her back. She paused though to answer her earlier question.

"And there isn't anything anybody can do anyway. It's irreversible brain damage. It was sweet what you said, about not letting it win, but you can't fight it. Fighting is exhausting; it's just a case of managing it which, I know, is way less sexy and badass."

"You've been doing this a long time. You're the expert but I'm not gonna let it put me off or change the way I see you."

"Oh yeah and how's that?"

"For one, hot!" The blonde giggled as Callie began to blow on her earlobe as she had that morning. "If a little annoying." She joked. "But generally, you're just miraculous." She knew what reaction that would get but she meant it.

"Okay, well now you deserve it." Callie retaliated by tickling her sides, causing her partner to squirm and convulse. When she stopped, Arizona tried to be serious.

"But you are." The Latina dragged her fingertips up the back of the blonde's left thigh, in a seemingly affectionate way but then ran circles on the underside of her knee, eliciting the same reaction. Arizona couldn't move though as Callie rolled on top of her. Blonde hair flew about wildly as she tried to wriggle out of her hold. The brunette started to kiss her pale chest as she continued to tease with her gentle strokes at the back of her knee. The woman underneath her was losing control at all the sensations. One hand was torturing her over-sensitive nervous system whilst the other tenderly linked their fingers and all the while, Callie's mouth was assaulting her bare chest.

Arizona had never seen such a playful side to her girlfriend and it was strange to think that no-one else had probably ever seen it either, the unguarded Callie who wasn't separating sex from feelings.

"Mercy... Mercy, please Callie." She screamed when it became too much. The Latina immediately stopped her hands movement and looked up with a serious face. "What's wrong?"

"You called me Callie."

"That's your name."

"Not to you."

"Nobody calls you Calliope."

"That's because I hate it."

"Right, so..."

"Except I can't hate it when you say it. Kind of like the other thing you say."

"Miracle." Callie lowered her head.

"Okay, so that one still grates a bit but seriously, please don't ever not call me Calliope."

Arizona sighed dramatically. "You're very demanding." She joked. "And I love you Calliope."

"I love you to."

"When did you get so comfortable in saying it?"

"I don't know but I've felt it for ages."

"Since when?" The Latina lifted herself to curl into Arizona's side, their fingers still locked, and positioned her mouth next to the blonde's ear. She started to sing in a whisper.

"Do you remember, the 21st night in September?" And Arizona fell asleep to the sound of her partner's tuneful voice.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: This chapter mentions attempted suicide. Just a warning.**

Callie and Arizona had been together officially almost a month. It was going great between them. They had started going on actual dates but were already spending almost every night with each other. Callie was sat at a table waiting for her girlfriend in the bar in which they had first met. They often met here because it was halfway between the hospital and Arizona's apartment.

Suddenly, a man was stood by her table. He was tall and handsome and probably very popular with women.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"No thank you."

"Come on, what have you got to lose?"

"I'm waiting for my girlfriend."

"That's very dismissive of you."

Before she had a chance to respond, a voice shouted.

"She said no Mark Sloan!" The blonde then came into view.

"What are you doing here, Robbins?"

"Meeting my girlfriend." She answered with a smug grin as she nodded towards the Latina.

"So I'm gonna leave you two lovely ladies to it then."

"Smart move." Callie chipped in as she stifled a yawn.

"Are you okay babe?"

"Tired." She responded plainly.

"Well then," Arizona pulled her up by the hand, "How about we go back to mine for an early night?"

"Mmmmmm, I'd love to but I'm a bit tired to, you know..."

"I know, I meant like have a bath."

"That sounds like heaven."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She sat in the warm bubble bath watching Callie getting undressed.

"Will you stop that?" The brunette requested.

"What?" She knew exactly what.

"Checking out my naked body."

"Well, you make it so easy... and delicious." Arizona giggled as her lover positioned herself between her legs and leant back against her front. Immediately, pale arms wrapped around Callie's waist.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, honey."

"Why is it called Gregory's? The bar we met in"

The Latina laughed. "After Gregory Peck."

"As in To Kill A Mockingbird?"

"Yeah, it was Jonathon- it's his favourite book. I lost that arguement."

"Okay, what about The Acorn?"

"The Bay we had to rely on my Dad in order to get started but that was our next one. We got it off our own backs and it was really the start of our success. Acorns start of small but grow into huge oak trees. That's what we wanted."

"Who knew you two were so poetic hey."

Arizona moved her hands up the strong arms of her partner and began to work at the tight knots of her shoulders whilst kissing Callie's neck.

"I'm sorry about tonight." She offered as she moved her neck to give Arizona more access.

"It's okay."

"Really?"

"Yeah, after last night I could probably use the rest anyway."

"Was I too much for you?" The Latina teased as she caressed Arizona's sculptured legs.

"Almost. Tell me you've cleaned your dining table." Both women broke into a fit of hysterics.

"You know there is a lot of glass in my apartment."

"You think somebody saw us?"

"Well, I've always thought that the guy opposite was a perve."

"Well, you didn't mention it last night."

"My mouth was otherwise engaged."

"Oh well."

"I didn't have you down as an exhibitionist."

"Got an issue with that?"

"Nope, it's as hot as hell."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That night they fell asleep cuddled close together. Life, it seemed was in a kind mood at the moment.

The moment though was fleeting.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arizona had had a rough day and she really needed to see her girlfriend. She was stood outside of Callie's office at The Acorn about to go in until she heard the voices inside. An unfamiliar woman was speaking.

"Come on Callie."

"I said no."

"We've gone a few rounds in here before."

"I have a girlfriend." Arizona smiled from the other side of the door.

"So?"

"So, I don't want to have sex with you because I'm happy with her."

At that point the blonde opened the door to find the red head from a month ago sat on Callie's desk.

"You need to leave now." Callie directed her statement at the woman.

"Fine, you can miss out if you want to."

The Latina wasn't even listening though because of the look on the surgeon's face. "Arizona..." She had disappeared though. Callie found her lying on the bench on the roof. She kneeled down in front of her.

"Nothing was going on you know that right?"

"Yeah."

"I mean she just turned up and I told her to go."

"I know."

"So what's wrong darling?" The brunette stroked her cheek. "Bad day at work?" Arizona nodded. "Wanna talk to me about it?"

"An ex patient of mine was in the hospital today."

"Right."

"She... how many of my patients... she's got an ABI."

"Right."

"She overdosed on pills."

"That's not uncommon, unfortunately."

"Sarah won't speak to anyone though, says nobody understands."

"Again, not uncommon. Do you want me to try?"

"It could help. Her parents are so worried and I told them about the centre and they just seemed so lost."

"Okay, I'll come by tomorrow and see if I can get through."

"Thank you. I love you, you know that?" Callie laughed.

"You have mentioned it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arizona and Callie walked into Sarah's room together and whilst the blonde spoke to the parents, the other woman sat by the bed.

"Not another shrink." The young girl protested.

"Far from it." Callie replied. "You aren't going to believe me but I'm here to help."

"Ha," She scoffed "You gonna give me your brain?"

"Well I would but it would be as good as yours." When Sarah didn't look convinced she explained. "I get it."

"Yeah right."

"Don't believe me?"

"Nobody gets it. That's why I'm in a psyc ward."

"You're in a psyc ward because you took a bunch of pills."

"Excuse me." Her mother tried to halt this conversation.

"Well wouldn't you." The girl screamed back.

"Oh I did. A lot of them. Everyday. From the age of fourteen to nineteen. All different types."

"Everyday?"

"Yep. Pain management. It's bad enough, losing your mind everyday that you just... try. That's it. You get up and go to school like everybody else and for your effort, you lose control of the very thing that makes you, you. It feels like you're under water. The rest of the world carries on but your trapped. On top of it though, your head hurts like a bitch. Feels like it's gonna explode. Am I close?"

"Is this really helping." Sarah's Dad asked.

"Yes, yes you're... but this wasn't that." Everyone relaxed when it was clear that Callie had gotten through.

"I know." She stated clearly. "It became unmanageable. Too painful. Too lonely. And you try your best to deal with it on your own because you think that you have to. It's all going on inside your head and nobody else can see it. Especially if they usually see you on a good day or your grades aren't terrible. You must be fine."

"But I'm not."

"I know."

"You're like me."

"Yeah I've got an injury."

"That's not what I meant."

Arizona was stood in the corner of the room just listening. She had always marvelled at the way Callie handled her kids. And the way she talked about her injury was nothing short of inspiring. The conversation had taken a different turn though.

The Latina dropped her head. What was about to come out of this strangers mouth was something she had never told the blonde.

"You've tried to kill yourself too." Sarah stated.

"Once when I was seventeen." She couldn't bring herself to look around at her girlfriend.

"Was that it?" Callie shook her head.

"I've come close a few times."

"How did you?"

"Pills. Management became a cry for help. There were times where I just didn't wanna get up the next morning so I took enough to knock me out. My parents would let me sleep and I'd miss school. Then it just all got too much. It wasn't just tomorrow I didn't want. It was forever. My parents never found out though. My friend found me and sorted me out. Thirteen years later and they are still in the dark."

"You want to protect them."

Arizona had stayed in the room for as long as possible but now she had to get out. From where Callie was sat, she heard a faint:

"Excuse me." The door opened and closed again. She was gone.

Once Callie had given the family all the information about Adams's House, she tried to find her girlfriend but was unable. Eventually she left the hospital to sort some work out.

The blonde ignored her calls and texts, in a state of shock. It wasn't till later that night that they saw each other.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Callie walked into her apartment but was genuinely surprised when she saw Arizona sat on one of the stools by the breakfast bar. She was sat motionless, the wine bottle in front of her was half empty and she didn't speak a word. Sad blue eyes made contact with the Latina's.

Making her way forwards, Callie took of her jacket and perched on the arm of the sofa. She broke the silence.

"I could have handled it better."

"Yes."

"You shouldn't have found out like that."

"No."

"I should have told you before that kid."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you?" The brunette had never been so happy to go from a one word response to three.

"My only significant attempt was when I was seventeen. It was a lifetime ago and you were so upset about your old patient that I didn't think you'd cope well with finding out about me."

"So I found out whilst stood in the background."

"I know, I'm sorry... I'm."

"Stop saying you're sorry!" Arizona screamed her interruption before her voice cracked. "I know that you... are sorry. You said that you've thought about doing it again. Since you actually tried it."

"Yeah."

"When?"

"Arizona." Callie was pleading with her not to ask.

"When was the last time that you wanted to..." She couldn't finish her sentence.

"You don't want to go down that road."

"Because it was since we met." The brunette dropped her head. "After we had sex." Arizona realised aloud. A tear fell down her cheek when she wasn't told otherwise. "What happened?"

"I'm not gonna..."

"Talk to me! You're so worried about scaring me off, well now I'm scared so please explain to me. Please." She begged.

The Latina took a deep breath. "However you feel about that night... It was still wrong. You'd just left your girlfriend of two years and I felt like I'd taken advantage. I have lists in my head of what I should, shouldn't, can and can't do. You, you started off on the "can't" list because you had a girlfriend and that was fine. I could manage with that. Then... then you got in my head and you were on the "shouldn't" list because I had fallen for you. And then I did the worst thing possible."

"What had sex with me?"

"No not the sex!" Callie shouted in frustration. "Just..."

"Just what?"

"I've... I don't know how to explain. I've never had to before." She began to pace in front of her girlfriend.

"Try." Arizona whispered.

"Involving you. A part of me knew that if we slept together, we'd always be each other's or, I'd always be yours anyway and that scared the crap out of me. It still does cause look," she threw her arms up; "I'm hurting you. Add to the fact that my head was in such a state that night and I can't really remember it... Then I left. I'm such a coward that I left and that made me feel like shit!" She was screaming again. "I'm a fuck up and I didn't want to be a fuck up anymore!"

"So what did you do?"

"I bought a bottle of scotch and stood out on the balcony." Callie had stopped her pacing directly in front of her. "And I wondered how long it would take to hit the pavement and how much scotch I'd have to drink not to feel anything."

"Because of me."

"No."

"Because of what loving me does to you."

"No! For the same reason I wanted to all the other times."

"What reason Calliope?"

"I couldn't live like this anymore!" The Latina's voice had lost its fight. "When I wake up, I don't have a choice but to live this life and I screw things up. Screwing up with you was the thing this time and yes, it was bigger than any other time before but it was what I had done. It was my actions. Nothing about you could ever make me want to jump from the tenth story, Arizona. It was the same thought as always." Callie sat down and leant against the sofa. "I got ill. It wasn't as if I was playing in traffic and got hit by a car. I just got ill. And I was eleven. I hadn't even lived long enough to do anything to deserve it. Okay? That's what was gonna make your miracle jump, her own self pity and selfishness."

"What stopped you?" Arizona asked as she lowered herself next to the brunette.

"Same thing as always. My family. They went through hell when I was just ill. If I was actually dead then... well you know that kind of loss. And if I had done it to myself, they'd have never gotten over it. And you." She turned to look the blonde in the eye. Both had tears in them. "Waking up alone after the equivalent of a drunken night is bad enough. If I had gone through with it after that night..."

Arizona shook her head, "Don't... I can't..."

"And as much as my other plan was to run, I knew that I should explain and well, you deserved more than a note. Then I got a phone call the next morning from James's family and I couldn't do it to those kids anyway."

She sighed, exhausted from the emotional trawling of today. "You sure are good at picking girlfriends."

The surgeon moved as close to her as possible and took her hand. "What, going from the cheater to"

"A train wreck." Callie finished.

"You're not a train wreck Calliope, closer to a small car crash." She joked. It got the desired effect as she felt Callie relax into her embrace more. "And you're still easier to love."

"Wow, okay."

"What?"

"You're too perfect. I really wish that you had more flaws. You're always having to deal with my crap."

"Well, now it's our crap." She kissed her on the cheek before continuing. "You were right by the way."

"Really? When?"

"I will always be yours. I have always been yours."


	11. Chapter 11

"I will always be yours. I have always been yours."

Arizona raised her hand to wipe away the last of Callie's tears from her cheek. Her hand lingered there and eventually pulled the Latina in for a kiss. It was slow but intense with the weight of emotion from the day behind it. Strong hands encircled her waist and began to move up and down the blonde's body.

They broke apart after a few minutes and Arizona found herself straddling Callie's thighs. This wasn't sexual though. It was care and comfort. She removed the dark locks which were covering her girlfriend's face and rested her hands on her shoulders.

"Is there anything else? Anything you haven't told me?" Arizona loved this woman with everything she had but she couldn't handle any more surprises.

"No. Well..." The blonde tilted her head in question. "When I was twenty I got really drunk and hit my head, hard. Really hard and well... was unconscious for two days." Callie felt Arizona collapse into her and she wrapped a protective arm around the surgeon whilst interlocking their fingers with her other hand. "That's everything. You know that I remember; there could be more."

The brunette rubbed circles on her girlfriend's back as Arizona's sigh brushed over her neck. The blonde had nestled her head into Callie's shoulder so that she could just feel her. The Latina's perfume filled her senses and she was immediately calm.

"You know," Arizona turned her head to rest the side of it against the shoulder, "It's really hard to not spend all my time worrying about you."

"Sorry. I don't want you to."

"I know that we're supposed to just live with it and let it happen but... I don't know what I'm trying to say."

"I do. Worrying though, will just stress us out and when I get stressed..."

"You shut down so it's not helpful." Arizona finished.

"Sorry."

"You break your own rule a lot." She looked up at Callie who was clearly confused. "The one about apologising for things that aren't your fault."

The Latina shrugged. "They feel like my fault. It's my condition, in my head and they are still my actions."

They sat there for a while, not saying a word, just being with one another until eventually Arizona spoke.

"Wanna go to sleep?" Suddenly, Callie laid them both down on the hardwood floor using her body as a cushion for her girlfriend.

"Sounds good. Goodnight."

"Calliope, I meant in an actual bed." The floor was not comfy.

"It's too far." The brunette moaned in an unserious tone.

"It's right there." Arizona stood up "Come on dear."

Callie took the hand offered and followed her girlfriend to bed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next week went by quickly, both woman were surprised how it felt the same. Such emotional talk about life and death had passed and they had woken up the next day like a regular couple. Callie was grateful for that. She had run her entire life from the responsibility of a relationship but there was no running from Arizona. She was always going to be there.

The peds surgeon had finished her day on a high, having discharged a long term cancer patient. She was looking forward to celebrating with Callie which is why she was waiting at their usual table at Gregory's. The bartender had told her that she was not in yet which was strange as she usually finished her day long before Arizona.

It was then that two of her colleagues entered the bar. Mark Sloan and Teddy Altman made their way over when they spotted the blonde.

"Hey, you waiting for your hot Latina?" The man inquired.

"What? Jasmine's not Latina?" Teddy asked in confusion. Before Arizona could get a word in, Mark replied,

"You didn't know? Robbins has got somebody else."

"You're having an affair?"

"Oh no they are actual girlfriends."

"I am right here by the way!" Arizona was feeling left out of her own conversation.

"Sorry Arizona. When did this happen?" Teddy finally sat down and began searching for all the details.

"We've been together just over a month."

"When did you and the neuro chick break up?" The plastics surgeon always needed to know the gossip.

"Neuro chick?" The cardio god turned to Mark, "Really? They were together for two years and that's how you refer to her?"

"She cheated on me." Teddy's head snapped back at this new information.

"I'm gonna kill neuro chick!" She exclaimed, causing the blonde to laugh. "When? And when did you two split?"

"I left her just over a month ago." Arizona took a sip from her drink, knowing full well what was coming next.

"And you jump straight in with this Latina?"

"Talk about getting back on the horse." Mark said with a wink.

"Did you just call me a horse?" Nobody had seen Callie arrive but she had heard pretty much all of the conversation.

"Calliope!" Arizona bounced from her seat and greeted her girlfriend with a kiss. "Hey." When Callie didn't match her grin the blonde realised, "You heard that then?"

"The bit where you hadn't told your friends about us? No." She replied sarcastically.

"I'm sorry... we're just so busy at the hospital with patients... and surgeries... and saving lives. It never came up and..."

The brunette couldn't let her girlfriend stew any more; she placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"You're not mad?"

Callie just leant over the table and offered a hand.

"Callie Torres, it's nice to meet you."

"Teddy Altman." She then moved onto the man.

"Mark..."

"Sloan, yeah I remember. Can I get you any drinks?"

"Red wine please."

"And a scotch."

"Ah, man after my own heart." Callie smiled as she went to the bar and ordered four drinks. Arizona was soon by her side.

"You don't need to do that." She was still trying to gauge her girlfriend's mood.

"I want your friends to like me Arizona." The Latina explained.

"They're gonna love you."

"Well I'm giving them free booze, so yeah."

"That is the main reason I'm with you." The blonde joked.

"You know what? I'm cool with that." She wrapped her arm around Arizona and pulled her into a fierce kiss which left the surgeon almost speechless. "I'm not mad darling."

"Really? How come?" But just then a gruff voice shouted:

"When you're done with your lady loving, some of us are thirsty." Before they walked back to the table, Callie whispered in her lover's ear.

"Maybe I like being your dirty little secret." Arizona had to take a deep breath to regain her composure.

"Here we go." The Latina announced before sitting down in the booth. Her partner sat close and placed a hand on her thigh as she moved under Callie's arm.

"So, what do you do Callie?" Teddy asked sizing up her friends knew suitor.

"You mean apart from own this place?" She responded.

"This is yours?" The brunette nodded. "So all this time we've been giving you are money?" Mark clarified.

"Yeah, actually come to think about it, you probably paid for our last date."

Arizona giggled, "Yeah, thanks Mark, we really enjoyed ourselves." She squeezed Callie's thigh to make her point.

"Where'd you go?"

"To go watch some romantic comedy." She said with the same annoyance as when Arizona had suggested it.

"I didn't have to twist your arm or anything."

"That's because you pulled out the pout. It disarmed me and you totally took advantage."

"Well I'm very sorry Calliope but I'm pretty sure I made up for it." The surgeon's voice had gotten a lot lower and she was very close to her ear.

"Oh, you sure did." Callie laughed seductively, her mind filling with memories of Arizona's fingers dancing through her almost as soon as they were back at her apartment.

The other two surgeons had started their own conversation when the flirting had begun. The Latina turned to her partner and when their eyes met, the world kind of disappeared.

"Sorry I was late."

"Yeah, I got a little worried."

"I got held up at the centre; Sarah came by with her parents." Arizona's eyes lit up.

"That's really great, I knew you could help sweetheart." Her smile grew sad remembering their conversation that day.

"Hey." Callie ran her thumb over a fair cheek. "It's done, yeah?" The blonde nodded. "I mainly just spoke with her parents; Sarah was too busy meeting everyone."

"She any good at video games?"

Callie laughed. "I don't know but I think Harry is willing to help her." She raised her eyebrows to express her double meaning.

"Oh God, that sounds dangerous."

"Yeah, I know." They were broken from their staring contest when Teddy cleared her throat.

"You seem very happy Arizona."

"I am." She answered plainly.

"So apart from here, Callie?" She continued her questioning as Mark had gone off with some woman.

"All in all, seven bars, four coffee houses and we are about to open a night club in a few months. In fact," She reached into her pocket to take out some flyers and handed them to the surgeon. "You should come see our grand opening."

"I thought only I was allowed to that." Arizona giggled when she caused Teddy to spit out her drink.

"Inappropriate honey." Callie tried to be serious but the grin said otherwise.

"The Avenue?" Teddy asked.

"It was my business partner's idea."

"Yeah that has Jonathon all over it." The blonde supplied.

The three remained at the table drinking and talking for nearly two hours before a slightly drunk Arizona declared that she was taking her horse home.

"You are so not getting lucky tonight now Robbins." Callie yelled in fake anger as she slapped her partner's firm but upon exiting the bar. Arizona squealed.

"I'm very sorry, Calliope." She offered with a pout.

"Nope that's not gonna work this time Arizona." She folded her arms and walked off. If her girlfriend had not been intoxicated, she'd have realised that they were still walking to her own apartment. Once they got there Arizona stood in front of the door.

"Well then you're not coming in."

"What?" Callie questioned as she put a hand either side of the blonde's head.

"Not until you forgive me."

"Oh and what do I need to forgive you for?" She trapped the blonde against her door by moving her body closer.

"Not telling my friends about you."

"And?" She prompted further as she ran her nose up and down Arizona's neck, blowing softly to cause goose pimples.

"And calling you a... horse." She couldn't help but giggle like a school girl.

"Oh you find that funny do you?" They were still on the outside of Arizona's apartment. "Are you even sorry?" She husked in the surgeon's ear. Her girlfriend just continued in her hysterics. Without warning Callie moved her right hand down to cup Arizona's sex through her pants.

"Oh God." She spoke with shallow breath.

"Still funny?" She asked innocently as she tightened her grip slightly.

"I thought I wasn't..."

"I changed my mind Arizona." With her right hand still in between Arizona's legs, her left pulled the front of the surgeon's low cut top down with one finger. She then reached underneath and squeezed on her right breast. "I want to take you against your door." It wasn't a question but Arizona wouldn't have said no if it was. Callie unzipped her lover's jeans and opened the button as her mouth nibbled on a perfect breast.

"You're gonna... out here?"

"I thought you were an exhibitionist." She murmured into soft flesh.

"Calliope." It was supposed to be defiant but came out far too breathless.

"Well, if I'm not allowed inside." As she made her point, Callie slipped her hand inside Arizona's underwear. "Balls in your court now honey."

At that point the elevator pinged to signal its arrival and the blonde was not going to get caught like this- however hot it was. She opened the door in haste and pulled Callie through it.


	12. Chapter 12

Arizona took her girlfriends hand and began to walk to her bedroom.

"No!" Callie pulled back and caught the other woman as she lost her balance She then positioned them so that the blonde was back against the door again, only this time, inside.

The Latina kissed her hard and swallowed the moans her partner was producing.

"I said against the door." The surgeon felt her arousal spike with Callie's more forceful behaviour. It was hot but still familiar and safe. "You got an issue with that?"

"No..." The brunette's mouth was now on Arizona's neck, placing purposeful kisses below her jaw.

"Good." Both fair hands were taken and placed on either side of the door frame. "You're gonna wanna hold on to something sweetie."

"Is... is that right?" The blonde stuttured.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hours of intense love making later, both women were lying in bed with nothing but the sheet to cover them.

"Promise me something?" Arizona asked as she moved on her left side. A warm body was immediately behind hers. They moulded seamlessly together.

"What?" Callie asked before placing a gentle kiss on the shoulder in front of her.

"Sex will always be that amazing." She felt a deep laugh from the woman over her shoulder. "Even when we're old and wrinkly." She continued.

"Well," The Latina kissed behind her ear. "It depends on who you're doing it with." From her position, she couldn't see the look of disappointment on the blonde's face. She just assumed they'd be together. That was a lot to talk about after knowing each other for just two months though.

The conversation shifted when Callie began to softly move her hand up and down a pale arm in a soothing way.

"I know why you didn't tell Teddy and Mark about us."

"You do?" Arizona wasn't even sure she did herself.

"Yeah." The brunette answered like it was obvious.

"Enlighten me."

"If you'd told them about us then you would have had to tell them about Jasmine and what she did. Which still hurts because you're hung up on it." She moved her hand down the surgeon's arm and tried to interlock their fingers.

"What!" The blonde resisted and rolled over as best she could in the close proximity. "I'm not hung up on her!" She was almost insulted.

"That's not what I said. I know you're over her but not what she did."

"Why are you bringing up my ex-girlfriend when we're in bed?" The blonde turned back over to face away from Callie.

"Fine!" She huffed. "I thought you might wanna talk about it that was all. I thought I made you feel safe enough." The Latina moved on to her back and stared up at the ceiling. No more was said and an uncomfortable silence grew around them.

Arizona's mind was running circles around itself. She had deliberately put her last relationship in a box for the sake of this one. Or so she thought anyway. Nobody wanted to hear about their girlfriend's exes. Of course, Callie was different. She could see what was plaguing her before she knew herself.

Through the silence came steady breathing from the other woman. It was then that Arizona remembered that, apart from when she had to work the night shift; she always fell asleep wrapped up in her girlfriend. Not since their first night together had Callie rolled away. It was her this time who had separated them and for what? She just wanted to help.

Arizona turned and moved herself closer.

"God you're beautiful." She verbalised her internal thoughts as she traced the outline of her sleeping face. "I'm sorry. I don't want to talk about it though because she is insignificant and I love you." She dropped her voice to a whisper. "I wanna have old, wrinkly sex with you."

Callie's face broke out into a smile and the blonde moved her hand away when she realised she had been caught.

"I basically just told you that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, didn't I?" Arizona soundbited. Callie opened her eyes and grabbed the hand that had been on her face but responded no further until Arizona began to back track. "I didn't think you were awake and it's way too soon and..."

The Latina brought the soft hand to her face and kissed each knuckle. The surgeon breathed out finally when her girlfriend didn't freak out. She still hadn't said anything. Arizona felt a hand around the back of her neck and pull her down into a loving kiss.

Golden locks spread over tanned chest when she rested her head on Callie's shoulder. She brought their still combined hands to lie next to her face and placed quick kisses on the brunette's palm. Even though they were back in each other's arms, Arizona was kicking herself for revealing what she had. After a few minutes, her partner finally spoke.

"I won't be able to hold you against the door when we're in our seventies darling." The surgeon started to laugh. At first it was a giggle but soon she was struggling to breathe. "Well I wasn't that funny." Callie couldn't keep the grin off her face.

"No, it's just; neither of us went down the traditional route of promising each other forever."

"Maybe not but this is much more us. Don't you think?"

"We're crazy you know? It's not even been two months..."

"I know." Callie interrupted. "If that's how we feel though, can't it just be?"

"I love you Calliope."

"I love you too." They fell asleep the way they almost always did- arms and legs entwined with smiles on their faces.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey babe, I managed to finish early so I thought..."

"Calliope!" A strange voice shouted. Arizona had walked in to her girlfriend's apartment absent minded as always. She looked in the direction of the voice to see Callie sat on one of the sofas with a laptop in front of her. The Latina had a sheepish look on her face.

"Sorry." She whispered.

"Calliope don't shut the laptop on us!"

"She already did." A man's voice followed the woman's. The blonde walked over and sat beside Callie and placed a hand on her thigh.

"So, I'm guessing from the look on your face and the fact that these people get to call you Calliope, that those are your parents on the other end."

"I thought it was safe because you were gonna be at work for another couple of hours."

"Calliope!" Her mother's voice was becoming more impatient.

"You don't have to meet them if you don't want to." Callie was hoping she wouldn't.

"Of course she would want to, we're delightful." Her Dad exclaimed. Arizona opened the laptop up all the way.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Torres. It's good to see you." The surgeon smiled sweetly at the couple sat on the other side of the screen.

"Please call us Carlos and Lucia." The woman insisted.

"Are you happy now?" Callie asked her parents. "You've met her. She actually exists like I said."

"Calliope we didn't think you had made her up." Carlos laughed.

"Okay so a part of me did." Lucia admitted.

"Why would you make me up?" Arizona asked her partner.

"To shut us up." The man answered for his daughter.

"She's always trying to shut us up." Lucia explained.

"Well maybe if you didn't talk so much."

"So, Arizona, Calliope tells us you're a paediatric surgeon." Carlos ignored his daughter's comment.

"I am sir."

"That's very impressive." Callie couldn't tell if the look on her mother's face was pride for Arizona, a relative stranger, of pride for her for getting a surgeon girlfriend. She sat back and watched as the blonde answered all of the questions thrown at her. When she was tired of listening to the interrogation she whispered in Arizona's ear.

"You can tell them to piss off if you want."

"Calliope, I heard that!" Lucia yelled.

"It's fine." The blonde momentarily forgot about the older couple and got lost in those dark brown eyes.

"Well if you're sure, I'm gonna go start dinner."

"No you're not." Arizona pulled the Latina back down by her hand. "I'm taking you out."

"We don't have anything planned do we?" When the surgeon saw Callie trying to remember she cupped a tanned cheek with her hand to reassure her.

"No but you've been working so hard with the club and the centre and you need a night to relax. So I'm going to look after you. That, before you suggest otherwise, involves no cooking for you." She finished before the brunette tried to insist.

"Okay." There wasn't really any other answer her girlfriend was going to accept.

"You know nobody can usually tell our daughter what to do." Carlos broke them from their bubble.

"Especially when it comes to taking a break." Lucia said as she smiled at her husband. They could see this was real and were glad that their youngest had finally found someone.

Arizona could see the embarrassment on Callie's face and felt like it was the right time to say goodbye to the Torres's.

"You know, we actually need to leave soon. It was really great talking to you." The blonde tried to wrap things up.

"Yeah, I'll talk to you later Mom and Dad. I love you."

"Love you too sweetheart." Her parents replied in unison before signing off. Arizona shut the laptop and shocked Callie by straddling her lap.

"Hey." The surgeon finally greeted Callie with kiss.

"Hi." The brunette giggled when they separated. It didn't last long though. Another kiss followed, this time much harder. The woman on her lap ground down her hips when she placed her strong hands on Arizona's ass, causing both of them to moan. Callie's hand's then moved under her lover's top and up her back. "Did you have a good day?" She asked as her fingers grazed their way up her skin.

"It's getting better." The blonde gasped as her breasts were taken roughly by warm hands. She arched her back before taking hold of her senses and moving off the sofa completely.

"You're a tease." The brunette complained as she stood up and wrapped her arms around Arizona before she could run again.

"I know. I promise to make it up to you though."

"I will hold you to that."

"And I can't wait." Callie could tell from the look in her blue eyes that she had something amazing planned.

"Well then, let's not." The Latina picked up her girlfriend effortlessly as always and began to walk to the bedroom. When they got to the door, Arizona grabbed on to the frame to prevent their movements.

"Calliope Torres put me down!"

"I was going to." She replied.

"Not on the bed. Not yet anyway. I have plans." Reluctantly, the brunette did as she was told.

"Fine. Do I need to wear anything specific?" She folded her arms across her chest to indicate her mood.

The surgeon just smirked at how frustrated her partner was as it was kind of cute. She ran her hands up and down Callie's arms and felt her relax. When the blonde leaned up to kiss her, she was glad when she felt a response against her lips. Callie wasn't too mad.

"No, you look beautiful." She took her hand. "Now, come on."

A short drive later and they were in The Acorn.

"Really, this is your plan?" Callie was unconvinced.

"Shut up." Arizona led them through the crowds of patrons and up onto the roof. The Latina had to take a minute when she saw the scene that was waiting.

"So now I feel like an idiot." She confessed as she took in their surroundings. Fairy lights drew out a path to the bench and wrapped around the legs as well as the ledge running around the roof top.

"You're not an idiot." She squeezed her tanned hand. "Just a little horny Calliope."

"Well you said that I needed to relax and well sex was always how I did it."

The surgeon walked them to sit down on the bench. "I said later, you just need to be patient."

"Have you seen you?" She smiled when Arizona blushed and looked away. "Seriously, you're gorgeous and kind of perfect." A long silence followed until she asked, "So what's all this?" She pointed at the basket in front of them. The blonde emptied its contents onto the makeshift table by the bench. After all the food, she took out a bottle of lemonade.

"Okay," Callie laughed "You bought that to our super romantic date? What are you going to drink?"

"Not just that" Arizona then produced a bottle of whiskey.

"You know that I hardly ever drink." The Latina took the bottle anyway to look at it properly.

"Yeah, you said from time to time. And it seems to me like those "times" are when you're upset about something. I think maybe you should try it just because, like everyone else. I don't want you to do anything extreme but it might help you relax a bit." Callie couldn't help but lean forward and place her lips on pink ones. They fit so perfectly. When she pulled back, the Latina looked down at the bottle. She felt delicate fingers put a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"Just a couple though." Arizona smiled when her girlfriend responded.

"I know. I'm not trying to get you drunk."

"Good because the last time I was, I wasn't even of age." Arizona fought back her question. She knew it was probably that time Callie had mentioned when she hit her head and as important as it was, it would probably kill the mood. "What about you? You told me that you hated the taste."

"I did," she answered honestly. "That was until I tasted it on your lips." When Callie scrunched her face up she started to explain. "The first time I kissed you was the night we sat up here talking and you had..."

"Run away from an awkward conversation with a drink." She finished the story. "And I told you all about what happened." The brunette smiled warmly at the memory.

"I could still taste the scotch on your breath and for some reason it was good. Amazing in fact."

"That might have just been the kiss." Callie winked.

"Well I can have one, I am driving after all. This is about you though."

The brunette couldn't contain the laugh at seeing Arizona take a sip of neat whiskey. Her face was screwed up adorably. The blonde closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue in disgust. The Latina surprised her by taking it into her mouth and sucking softly on the muscle. Arizona moaned at her girlfriend's unique way of getting rid of the taste.

"Your turn." Arizona put the bottle in her hand as they rested their foreheads together.

"I'm not drinking it by its self. That's just asking for trouble."

They spent the next three hours up on the roof. They talked and laughed with each other as they picked at the food. Callie relaxed and had a couple of drinks. She stopped when she felt a buzz. Even that though, was more than she had allowed herself in ten years. She knew that she was safe though and Arizona was right. The Latina drank when she was in trouble rather than to enjoy it like most adults.

Before it got too late Arizona insisted they went back to her place. She had things planned for the rest of the evening that required Callie to have a lot of energy.


	13. Chapter 13

"Arizona, come on!" Callie shouted from her place on the blonde's bed. She had told the brunette to take all of her clothes off and go sit on the bed before she had disappeared into her bathroom. The buzz from the alcohol was wearing off but it was soon replaced by an all together different feeling when Arizona appeared at the door.

Her girlfriend was clad in pale blue lingerie which accented her lustful eyes.

"You really need to learn some patience." Arizona's voice was low and it sent shivers down Callie's spine. The Latina watched as the surgeon knelt on the end of the bed.

"Are..." She had to clear her throat of the knot that had formed. "Are you going to teach me?"

"Maybe another day, right now I just want to make you feel good baby." As she spoke, the blonde moved up the bed to straddle Callie's naked hips. She caught tanned hands before they settled on her pale body. Arizona the intertwined their fingers and held their hands in the air. "No touching."

"You've got to be kidding me." The brunette groaned in frustration.

"No." Before Callie could put forward a well reasoned argument as to why she should be allowed to touch her partner's amazing body, Arizona captured her mouth with a blistering kiss. She slowed down but then introduced her tongue.

Still kissing, the surgeon pushed forward so she was lying on top of Callie. She swallowed the moans produced by the Latina at the feel of lace against her bare breasts and mound. Totally at the mercy of her lover, Callie was beginning to struggle for breath because of their never ending kiss. Before she passed out, Arizona moved away from her mouth but continued on her neck. It was only when Callie had caught her breath that she realised their hands were being held above her head.

"Why can't I touch you?"

Arizona lifted her head over her girlfriend's face to reply. "Because you need to relax and we both know how worked up you get when you feel me up." She then disappeared from view again as she placed open mouth kisses on full breasts, purposefully missing hard nipples.

"Yeah... because you doing... that isn't working me up." The blonde stopped and was again hovering over the Latina, eye to eye.

"Okay but if you touch me here," She pulled Callie's left hand and placed it a hair's breath away from her bra covered breasts, "I'll want you to touch me here." The Latina almost burst when her hand was then almost touching Arizona's core. After just a second though, both hands were back in place above their heads and she was back to work assaulting tanned breasts- this time sucking a brown nipple into her mouth.

"Would that be... such a bad... thing?"

"Yeah, this is about you." Callie watched as a blonde head moved across to her other breast. "I can take care of myself."

"Jesus!" Between the feeling of Arizona on her flesh and the idea of Arizona pleasuring herself, the brunette was hurtling towards the edge at a terrifying pace. The surgeon hadn't even touched her sex yet.

That was until Arizona began rolling her hips down, causing delicious friction.

"Oh God, please Arizona. You are gonna kill me."

"Can I trust you not to move your hands?"

"Yes!" Came Callie's breathless response.

"Okay." The blonde let go of one of her hands and snaked it down to play with her lover's folds. "You're so wet Calliope." Again she began kissing her fiercely. "How long have you been like this?" she asked when they broke apart. She had yet to give Callie anywhere near the contact she so desperately needed.

"Always. Please Arizona" She was begging. Callie Torres had never begged before in her life until she met this woman. It paid off and she got what she wanted. "Thank you." She screamed as the blonde finally thrust two fingers inside her but their pace could only be described as leisurely. "Come on!" Her free hand was clutching at the pillow.

"What?" Arizona was enjoying the view from where she was, over her girlfriend. Callie was bucking her hips to try to get a more satisfying feeling.

"Harder, faster, please."

"Like this?"

"Oh fuck!" The Latina yelled out as Arizona suddenly accelerated her hand as she simultaneously began rubbing circles around her swollen bundle of nerves.

"Are you close?" The blonde was right by her ear.

"Yes."

"Then come. Come for me Calliope." She did just that. Loud. Hard. And totally with out shame.

Arizona then proceeded to bring Callie multiple orgasms for the rest of the night. Every time she refused when Callie tried to return the favour. Eventually they fell asleep totally spent but not before a few whispered promises of love.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX

The next week, Arizona used her key to open the door to Callie's apartment. It was half one in the morning and she had finished a gruelling shift filled with emergency surgery after emergency surgery. However going back to her own apartment was not an option when her girlfriend was here. Arizona intended on collapsing in bed and curling up to the Latina's snoring form. She would have too if, when she opened the door, had she found Callie in bed. Instead she was sat on the living room sofa with her head in her hands.

The surgeon found the light switch and her partner jumped when the previously dark room illuminated with light.

"Sorry, how come you're up? It's one thirty in the morning." She asked out of concern as she walked towards the sofa.

"Couldn't sleep." Callie mumbled. She jumped again when she felt Arizona approach the back of the sofa. The brunette stood and walked towards the kitchen, leaving a bewildered girlfriend in the living area.

"What's wrong?" Arizona was getting more and more worried. When she attempted to get closer, Callie scrunched up her face and slammed her eyes shut.

"Can you... um... not..."

"Calliope?" The blonde had never seen her like this before. She was getting good at spotting the signs of fatigue and the stresses of Callie's injury but this was different. "What do you need?"

"Nothing, can you... you just need..." The Latina was shaking her head, willing herself to form the words.

"Okay, Calliope just take a deep breath. We'll start off small. Why can't I get any closer to you?" All she wanted to do was gather her girlfriend up in her arms but she couldn't ignore the distress in Callie's face and behaviour.

"Smell... you smell like... hospitals."

"That's because I work in one?" Arizona asked confused as to where this was going.

"I know!" Callie snapped back. She softened when she opened her eyes and saw concern and love reflected back. "Sorry."

"It's okay. It doesn't usually bother you, me smelling like hospitals."

In response, her partner nodded her head. "I just... I can ignore it usually... I can't... I'm sorry..." Seeing her girlfriend like this was heartbreaking. Callie was strong, always, even when tired. Now though, she was flailing like a small child after a nightmare. The fact that she was struggling to communicate was making it even more difficult on Arizona's part to understand. She figured the best thing to do was remove what she assumed to be the trigger.

"Don't worry sweetheart. I'm gonna go take a shower and change my clothes. Does that sound good? I won't smell like hospitals then. Okay?" The surgeon spoke clearly, almost as if she was explaining a procedure to one of her patients.

"Okay." The brunette nodded her head. "I'm... I need some... some air."

Panic set in as Arizona watched her walk out through the glass doors and onto the balcony. She told herself to relax. This was never going to work if she didn't trust Callie. She took the quickest shower possible but ensured that she scrubbed all the sterile smell that clung to her, away. The blonde then changed for bed.

When she returned to the living area, Callie was back on the sofa staring intently at something. Her gaze remained down as Arizona took a seat next to her. Although she had left more distance between them than usual, the blonde still noticed her girlfriend physically stiffen.

"It's just me Calliope." After a slow breath, Callie relaxed slightly.

"You... you...uh... need to sleep. You've been working for hours... saving lives. Go to bed." Although the words were those of a loving partner, their tone was distant.

"I'm not going to bed without you. Can you look at me for a sec honey?"

Slowly, the Latina turned her head to look into the blue eyes she loved so much. Arizona saw all she needed there. They were not just glazed over. Behind them there was still fear.

"What... why do I need to... look..."

"You can tell a lot by the way someone looks at you."

"What do you see?"

Arizona ignored her question. "I did phone you, to say that I was going to be late."

"I know." Callie was not sure why that was relevant.

"So you knew where I was?"

The brunette nodded and looked back down to what she was holding in her hands. Her girlfriend followed her gaze.

"Calliope." It came out as a breathless whisper, filled with sympathy, as her heart constricted in her chest. She watched as tanned fingers followed the outline of machines and wires in the picture.

"Can I?" She asked tentatively. Callie passed it to her like it was a bomb. "It's you." Arizona knew it was. She could recognise the girl in the bed anywhere but sought out confirmation anyway.

"It's my coma photo." The Latina said as if everyone had one.

"Oh God."

"Arizona, you see kids on life support all the time."

"Yeah but not after knowing them as adults. And certainly not knowing them in the way that I know you." Her eyes were fixed to the small body lying lifeless. She was drowning in tubes and wires. "How come you're looking at this now?"

"Couldn't sleep." Callie leant forwards and buried the palms of her hands in her eyes.

"Why not?"

"It's tonight... nineteen years ago... tonight." The surgeon was surprised that Callie didn't recoil when she began rubbing circles on her back. She put the photo down on the table and moved closer to the brunette. Callie spoke again. "It's when I got ill."

Arizona pulled away the tanned hands which were still covering rich brown eyes and kept them tight in her hands. "Tonight's the night your life changed."

"No." She made eye contact again. "My life changed when I woke up. If I hadn't my life would have just ended. Tonight's the night I almost died." Arizona took a shaky breath. She was unsure how to respond. "It's... it's fine. Most of the time I can live... with it... knowing I shouldn't really be... here. It's just that tonight I can't... deal with it as well."

"Come to bed. Calliope please you need to try and sleep." She didn't miss the fear return to Callie's eyes. It had seemed to of disappeared as she had explained what was wrong. Now her girlfriend was scared again.

"Okay." Was the hesitant response.

The blonde settled herself in bed and watched Callie sit facing the wall with her legs over the side. Her back was to her partner. Out of the corner of her eye, Arizona spotted a bottle on the bed side table.

"Calliope, what are those?" She asked as she pointed. The Latina didn't need to move to know what she was referring to. The bottle of pills.

"Painkillers." Don't panic, Arizona told herself.

"How many did you take?"

"A couple. I... wanted to sleep. You weren't here. Couldn't sleep." She was beginning to mumble.

"It's okay. Come lie down with me."

"I wanted to take more... I couldn't... I can see it."

"See what sweetheart?" The blonde asked as she turned on her side to face Callie, even if she wouldn't look back.

"What happened. I can see it. I never used to but when they told me about my ABI I... It hit me how huge it was. Suddenly I could see it, the hospital and the bed and... I wasn't in it though. It's like I'm watching a TV programme. I'm stood where my parents were. Outside looking in. It's like a dream but not even from a memory. I don't remember. I think my brain needed something tangible to deal with. It's not me though in the bed. When I look at that photo... it's not me. I wasn't there. Now I can't stop seeing it. Programme's on repeat. Wires. Tubes. Drills. I'm scared."

"Calliope!" Arizona yelled in an attempt to snap Callie out of where ever she was. It worked and she turned to face the blonde. "Come here, let me hold you."

The Latina did just that. Facing the wall again, she lay down and felt fair arms wrap around her body.

"I'm scared."


	14. Chapter 14

"What are you scared of?" The sensation of Arizona's breath on the back of her neck was somewhat calming.

"That I won't wake up." Callie's voice was small. "It's stupid."

"Hey." The blonde held on to her girlfriend as if in an attempt to stop her mind wondering. "It's not stupid. If this was one of your kids, what would you tell them?"

"That it's a trauma."

"Exactly. If you got hit by a car, you'd expect to have flashbacks. This is no different. It takes a long time to get over a trauma."

"It's been almost twenty years." Both women were whispering even though they were alone in the bedroom. Arizona didn't want to push Callie too far. She was just beginning to relax. "That's a really long time."

"Not long enough though." The surgeon softly kissed the tanned neck in front of her. "What did you feel, when you were ill that night?" She wasn't sure how the Latina would react to that question but she didn't stiffen. Callie was lying in her arms perfectly still. It was like any movement would cause her to fall from her safe place.

"My head... it hurt so much. It was like it was going to explode. I had such a high temperature but I just felt freezing. So cold. I fought off the paramedics even though I was unconscious because they took away my bed covers. I kept throwing up but I knew my stomach was fine. I..."

Arizona caressed her partner's arm in encouragement. "You...?"

"I felt like I was going to die." Callie took a deep breath as the load lifted. She knew what Arizona was doing.

"Do you feel anything like that now?"

"No. I know... like I said, it's stupid."

"Stop saying it's stupid. It's not. It's human. Why didn't you warn me about this honey?"

"I didn't want it to happen. I thought this year would be different if I just ignored it."

"Okay, well now I know for next year." The brunette couldn't help the small smile and chuckle. "What?" Arizona asked.

"It's still weird to think that you'll be here next year."

"I know. Do you think you can get to sleep now?"

"Yeah, I think..."

"Nothing bad is going to happen Calliope. You're gonna fall asleep, then I will and you'll wake up in a few hours and my arms will still be around you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXX

Arizona kept her promise and Callie did wake up with her girlfriend's arms around her. She felt guilty for keeping the surgeon up so late. She skilfully slipped out of her grasp without waking the blonde and went into the kitchen. Not too long after and Arizona woke up as well to the smell of breakfast cooking. She was glad today was her day off.

She stood at the doorway watching as her lover danced around the kitchen to the radio which was thoughtfully turned down low. It was mesmerising as Callie moved from whisking pancake batter to heating the oil to taking the bananas from the grill. The smell of cinnamon filled the blonde's nostrils.

"You gonna just perve on me or are you gonna poor us some coffee?" The brunette asked without turning around.

Arizona took two mugs out of the cupboard and filled them with the steaming beverage.

"How did you know I was there?" She waited for Callie to flip the pancake she was currently making before standing behind the curved figure, wrapping her arms around her.

"I could smell my shampoo." The Latina answered as she plated up their breakfast. "About last night,"

"Don't you dare apologise." Arizona warned as she took a seat at the breakfast bar.

"I wasn't going to. I was going to say thank you."

"Thank you?" The surgeon asked between mouthfuls of banana and syrup. "I wasn't just gonna sit back and let you tail spin Calliope."

"I know but you shouldn't have to deal with this train wreck."

"Hey, we've been through this. You're not a train wreck you're a..."

"Small car crash." Callie interrupted.

"Not even that. There's just a few dents in the body work. That's all."

"Gee thanks." The Latina leant over and kissed her partner in a way which said more than just good morning.

"What was that for?" Arizona was almost blushing.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"And I didn't really say hello last night."

Soon both plates were empty and Callie stood to clear up but the blonde stopped her.

"Calliope?"

"Arizona?"

"You know how I met your parents?"

"Well you spoke to them over skype. I don't think that counts as meeting them."

"Oh well, my parents are coming to Seattle in ten days." Arizona spoke tentatively.

"For anything in particular?"

"It's my birthday the day after."

"What? Why didn't you tell me? I have no time to..." Callie was cut off by a pale hand over her mouth.

"No. I don't do birthdays. I don't want anything and if it was up to me I wouldn't bother with it. My parents always insist on visiting though and they want to drag me to dinner so I thought you could come." The blonde tried to smile sweetly and pop the dimples but she failed to hide her nervousness.

"Of course I'll come to dinner darling, if you want me to."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why don't you want to do anything?" Even now Callie was thinking up presents and plans.

"I just don't... please don't do anything." The Latina didn't respond. Instead she just stood up and started to clear away the breakfast things. "Calliope?"

"Fine, I won't make a fuss."

"Thank you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX X

Eleven days later and both women were again sat at the breakfast bar. Callie had done as she said and not made a big deal. Well, she had cooked the blonde breakfast but that was nothing new. Arizona had then opened her card and smiled at the simple understated message of love and birthday wishes. All in all it was going well. However she had not noticed when her girlfriend had slipped a gift wrapped box in her bag as she left. Callie thought that the surgeon might be more willing to accept the present if she didn't receive it during a highly pressurised dinner.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXX

Later that day and Callie was sat at her desk in Adam's House. She had changed into the dress she had bought for tonight's dinner and was waiting for her girlfriend. Arizona was picking her up on the way to the restaurant where the brunette would be meeting her parents for the first time. The fact that she had not heard from Arizona all day was not helping the Latina's nerves.

She was broken out of her thoughts by the crash of her office door opening so forcefully that it hit the wall. If Callie hadn't seen the look on her lover's face, she would have just stared at her flawless body.

"What the hell is this?" Arizona put the offending box on the desk and rested her weight on her hands on it too. "Up here." She said when she realised that Callie was fixed on her chest.

"It looks like a birthday present from a loved one to me." The brunette was playing it cool, hoping that her partner would burn herself out and talk to her about it.

"I told you not to."

"Well if you don't like it..." Callie stood up and moved around to stand behind Arizona. "I still have the receipt. I'll just return it."

The blonde turned around. "No. It's not that. It's ridiculously perfect and sentimental and you actually made me cry a little..."

"So, what's the issue?"

"You said you wouldn't make a fuss."

"I slipped it in your bag without saying a word."

"I... I guess I'm just an ungrateful bitch then." Arizona tried to leave but Callie caught her and enveloped her with her arms, from behind, before she could even get close to door. The brunette's strength meant that she couldn't get out.

"No, Arizona you are from that darling." She waited for the woman in her arms to relax. "If I had given it to you a week ago, would I have got this reaction?"

"No but it would have been slightly random."

"You look beautiful by the way." She began kissing up Arizona's neck. "Even more so than usual."

"You aren't gonna let me go are you?" The surgeon couldn't help but smile. She should have known that Callie wouldn't just let this go. There had to be a reason to hate your own birthday. The Latina had never left her place in Arizona's head.

"Never." The blonde laughed. "Well maybe actually, I don't want to be late the first time I meet the Colonel."

"Sorry, I really do love the bracelet."

"Good." Arizona turned in her arms and rested her head on Callie's shoulder.

"I used to love my birthday when it was the four of us."

"You mean with Tim."

"Yeah, but you worked that out already right?" She pulled back to look into deep brown eyes.

"Maybe." The brunette had realised the connection but that wasn't important here.

"You need to get out of my head."

"You really want me to?"

"No." There was a long pause as Arizona settled herself back into Callie's embrace. "He used to bake me a cake. Every year it had more pink and rainbows and glitter on it. He found it funny because that's what everyone assumed I was into."

"What with you being so perky and cute you mean?"

"Yeah. He tried to be so macho and manly, you know? Be everything my Dad was. Tim was always gonna be in the army but his dirty little secret was that he loved to bake. I used to threaten to tell his friends in order to get him to clean my room." Both women laughed at the thought.

"So you blackmailed your little brother?"

"Basically yeah. Then he went off to train and then he was deployed. My birthday was never the same. He was always away. Then he never came home. I mean that hurts all the time but..."

"It's more obvious on days like today."

"Exactly." Callie could feel the tears run down from Arizona's face onto her chest.

"You don't have to accept the gift. I shouldn't have pushed things."

"Of course you should have." The blonde reached round for the box. "Wanna put it on me?" She asked as she removed the bracelet and studied it for the hundredth time that day. It was solid silver with a hinge on one side and a clasp on the opposite one. On the outside was the word LOVE and on the inside it read: it's Patient, Kind, Selfless, Beautiful, and Pure. It's YOU.

"You're sure?" Callie really didn't want to upset her girlfriend.

"Definitely." She grinned from ear to ear as the metal clicked into place around her wrist. "Thank you. I love you Calliope." The surgeon placed the gentlest of kisses on inviting lips.

"I love you too."

Before they left for dinner, Arizona excused herself to fix her makeup. The Latina used it as a chance to go ask Simon for a favour.

They then left hand in hand and made their way to the blonde's car. Dinner time.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey Mom."

Callie stood back as she watched her girlfriend greet her parents. The older woman pulled Arizona into a hug before moving onto the Latina. As she recovered from the bone crushing embrace she had the opportunity to say:

"It's good to finally meet you Mrs Robbins."

"You too."

By this point Arizona had hugged her father and he offered his hand out for a more formal greeting.

"Colonel." She shook his hand.

"Calliope." He returned.

"Oh please," She the brunette said as they took their seats at the table, "call me Callie. There's only like three people who call me Calliope, and two of them are my parents."

"I'm the other one." The blonde interjected with a bright smile.

"Yeah, not quite sure how that happened." She turned back to her girlfriend's parents. "How was your flight?"

"Horrible." The man answered shortly.

"Oh, ignore him. Daniel always gets grumpy after long stints in aeroplanes." His wife explained.

"I don't blame him."

"Arizona, you're just scared of flying." Mrs Robbins said to her daughter.

"You are?" Callie asked the surgeon.

"It's just not natural."

"As appose to living on the seventh floor of an apartment block." The brunette challenged.

"Okay so I'm just a big girl's blouse I guess." She turned to her parents. "Why'd I have to get such a smart ass for a girlfriend?"

"Well if she's smart she won't hurt you." The Colonel was deliberately making things awkward for Callie.

"Dad?" She pleaded.

"It's fine. I'm not really much of a smart ass but I'm not that dumb either sir." He seemed to be satisfied with that answer, judging from the smile on his face.

"And you got to the hotel okay then?" The Latina asked as the tension began to settle.

"Yes thank you dear. We were surprised when we saw the man with his sign saying "Robbins" on it." Barbara smiled, revealing the trademark dimples.

"What are you talking about?" Arizona had no idea what her mother was meant. Before Callie had a chance to explain, the older woman replied.

"Callie arranged for a car to pick us up from the airport."

"You didn't have to that."

"I wanted to darling. It wasn't too much was it?" The brunette asked the other couple. Daniel shook his head.

"It's good to know you can look after people."

"Dad?"

"So sweetheart, how has your birthday been?" Her mother tried to change the subject.

"Well nobody really paid any attention to it so..."

"Arizona." Mrs Robbins was growing frustrated with her daughter's attitude.

"No Mom it's been good. You know I hate all the attention."

"What's that on your wrist?" She pointed to Arizona's new bracelet.

"Oh Calliope got it for me." Said Calliope sank back in her chair as the older woman "ooed" and "awed" at the silver jewellery. It was then passed to her husband.

"Look Daniel, how sweet." His stern demeanour broke as he took the bracelet. He knew this woman was good for his daughter.

After that conversation flowed easily, as did the wine. Both parents noticed Callie's lack of alcohol but said nothing. When they had finished their main course, Arizona stood up.

"I'm just going to the bathroom. If they come to order desert, I'll have the"

"Banoffee pie." All three finished in unison.

"Okay, that's creepy."

The blonde walked away and the Latina couldn't take her eyes of off her. A fact that did not go unnoticed by Mr and Mrs Robbins.

"We should be thanking you." The man declared suddenly.

"What? Why?" Callie was confused.

"We knew something was wrong with our daughter. Every time we spoke to her she sounded more distant. When she spoke about work her usual perkiness was their but when we asked about her personal life, her fire was gone. She stopped mentioning Jasmine. We knew something was wrong. Then a couple of months ago we got a call. Arizona told us about what that woman had done and that they had broken up. She wasn't sad though. She happy, back to normal. My daughter explained that she had found somebody else. She said that this woman was... What was the word she used?" He asked his wife.

"Miraculous." She answered.

"Yeah," Callie looked down, embarrassed. She likes to throw that word around. I'm not. I'm far from it. I meant what I said though earlier. You'd be an idiot to let someone like Arizona get away. Not just that, you've gotta be heartless to be so cruel."

"Well, I'm saying thank you. My daughter has a lot of scars and I can tell you're actually helping to fix those, not just plastering over them. She deserves the best." The Colonel's eyes were clearly conveying their warning.

"I know." The Latina wasn't scared though. In her mind, Arizona was the miracle. It was then that the woman in question returned.

"What?" She asked as she sensed the atmosphere had been far from light during her absence. Callie answered for them.

"They were just checking we're all on the same page darling."

"Okay." The blonde was far from convinced.

The four of them finished their meal with laughing and jokes as Barbara told stories that only a mother would know about her daughter. Mentions of Tim were accompanied with a sad smile and Callie was just grateful for the insight into this family. The two couples said their goodbyes and arranged to meet at Arizona's the next day.

During the car journey, she noticed that Callie was driving the wrong way and didn't understand why they were heading for Adams's House.

"Why are we here, you forget something?" She asked her girlfriend.

"You could say that." Was her coy response. The brunette led her inside and to the kitchen but told her to wait outside the room. From the door, the blonde could hear fumbling around before a voice telling her to come in.

"Calliope?" Arizona could see the glow of candles.

"We forgot about your birthday cake."

"I didn't want one." She said as she approached the work surface. The surgeon gasped when she saw the cake.

"Do you still not want it because, you know it's fine. If we leave it in the fridge the kids will devour it in no time."

Arizona kissed her. That's all she could do. One kiss with all the love she possessed.

"You were rambling."

"I guess I've been round you too much hey?"

The blonde looked down at the cake. It had bright pink icing with a white unicorn striding across it, a rainbow in the background.

"How did you?"

"Simon made it before he left, bless him."

"We'll leave it for the kids." Callie's heart sank slightly as she watched her partner blow out the candles. "After we've taken a couple of slices." She looked up with unshed tears in her eyes.

"Happy Birthday darling. I love you."

"How about we go to The Acorn and drink champagne and eat our cake. I'd say the roof but what with the rain."

"No that sounds good. Thank you."

"Well I wasn't just gonna sit back and watch you tail spin, was I?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX

When they reached the bar, Callie let go of her hand to get the champagne. Arizona headed towards a secluded corner but was stopped in her tracks at an unwelcome sight.

"Arizona."

"Jasmine?" Oh no this was not good. The woman moved closer to the blonde.

"Happy Birthday, you're not spending it alone are you? Mind you, you were always funny about it. You don't have to be alone though why don't you come back with me." The brunette was now directly in front of her.

"I'm not alone. I'm with someone."

"Well, blow them off."

"How dare you! She is worth ten of you. And even if I was alone, that's better than being with you."

"Oh come on, don't be like that, you know I love you." Every time Arizona took a step away, Jasmine followed.

"Oh yeah, that's why you screwed that nurse."

"Oh you're not still on about that?"

"I think you should leave." A member of security said as he stood between the two women.

"Why?"

"Because you are harassing this woman and I have been told to ask you to leave."

"By who?"

"Me." The blonde had taken a final step back and could now smell her girlfriend's perfume. "This is my bar and I want you out."

"I'm not harassing her. Am I Arizona?"

"By Jasmine." She responded as she put one arm around the Latina.

"Her?" She was now being ushered out by two men but she was still shouting. "You left me for her?"

The peds surgeon took a deep breath and turned into Callie's body.

"You okay Arizona?"

"I will be. Can we just go home with our cake and champagne?"

"Sure thing darling."

Neither woman even noticed when Callie instinctively drove to her own apartment when Arizona had asked for home.

They spent the rest of their night naked, sipping champagne and eating cake. Despite the bar incident, it was the best birthday Arizona had had in a long time.


	16. Chapter 16

The first thing she felt, before she even opened her eyes, was one hand on her bare stomach. That strong hand anchoring her throughout the night. It stopped her walking out of the office when her head was all over the place. It made her take a second to breathe. It forced her to talk about something so painful and personal that she had never spoken to anyone else about it. That hand that shook with nerves during dinner with her parents because the person whose hand it was just wanted to impress them. The hand that her father had first shook at the start of the evening and then refused at the end. Instead he pulled her in for a hug.

It was the same hand that held hers after she ran into her ex-girlfriend and led her home. The hand on her stomach had the peeled away her clothing one piece at a time and then moved lower. All night it seemed to be bringing her to the height of release before easing her down again. It skimmed over pale flesh, leaving goose bumps in its wake.

That hand, Calliope's hand, made her feel loved. It made her feel like there was nobody else on the entire planet.

Arizona felt the sun through the crack in the curtains and rolled on her side to mirror her sleeping girlfriend.

"Morning." She whispered against bruised lips when she noticed the Latina stirring.

"Hey, how was your birthday?" Callie asked, her voice still deliciously husky from sleep.

"Best one for a long time." The blonde answered sincerely.

"Careful, you're gonna have somebody's eye out with those dimples."

Arizona giggled. She couldn't remember the last time she had done that, before meeting this woman. Callie loved to hear it. Her lover's laugh when she was unguarded and just let herself go, it never failed to make her smile. Callie leant forwards kissed her. Then Arizona kissed her back a little harder.

Before things got any hotter they were interrupted by the brunette's phone.

"Who the hell is phoning at this time?" The surgeon whined.

"Darling it's almost eleven o' clock." She replied as she reached over for her phone.

"What?" Arizona shot up but immediately regretted it. "Ow my head." She retreated and lay back down.

"Can you just hold on a sec?" Callie asked whoever was calling before turning to her partner. "I'll go take care of this and then get us some coffee. Okay, booze hound?" She ran out the room before the blonde could co-ordinate herself to deliver a punch to the arm.

Arizona then realised how Callie's face had dropped when she looked at the phone. Her tone to the caller had been less than warm. She couldn't help but listen out for the one sided conversation that was taking place on the other side of the door.

"No! I told you it was a secret."

The blonde's ears pricked up.

"You promised that you wouldn't let this out. I said that we had to be discrete."

Seriously, what was going on? This didn't sound like her Calliope.

"I've got to go. I said I would get rid of you and make her coffee. We'll talk later when I see you."

With that she hung up. Arizona heard her girlfriend prepare the coffee and tried to act natural when she walked back in. Both mugs were settled down to cool. The bed dipped as Callie got back under the covers. She moved her body into the blonde's back and caused a gasp to escape pink lips.

"What's wrong?"

"Did you just go make coffee naked?" She hadn't meant to get distracted but the goddess's body was always her kryptonite.

"Well, I know you love your coffee and you love me naked so..." Instead of finishing her sentence, she began ghosting her lips across Arizona's neck.

The surgeon told herself to forget the conversation. Trust, she had to trust Callie.

"Who was on the phone?" She couldn't stop herself.

"Oh, it was about the summer retreat for the kids, it's becoming a huge headache really." She was lying.

"I'm sure you'll sort it out." Please don't be doing this. That's what she begged, not that anyone could hear her.

"I will and it will be worth it." Arizona's heart stopped momentarily when she felt the smile on Callie's lips against her shoulder. "First of all though, I need to help you with your headache."

Suddenly, the blonde was on her back and the Latina was on top of her. When she looked up at her girlfriend, she saw love and admiration in the dark brown eyes above. Trust. Her Calliope would never do anything to hurt her. If Arizona Robbins believed in anything, it was that fact.

"I love you." The brunette whispered before kissing her.

"I love you too."

"So, doctor, any cures for a small hangover you can suggest?" Callie played as she again began kissing Arizona's neck.

"You don't drink."

"No, but my girlfriend does and apparently trying to keep up with her own parent's intake puts her in quite a state." She moved down to the surgeon's collarbone.

"Hey, they're like... heavy weights." The all too familiar light headedness of being under her lover's spell was taking over.

"I know," Callie raised her head to look into blue eyes. "How can they can drink that much? I mean even you're Mom. She's all sweet and charming, butter wouldn't melt but I swear she had two bottles to herself."

Arizona giggled. "We're naked and you're talking about my Mom and Dad."

"Sorry." She placed one lingering kiss at the valley between the blonde's breasts and then moved back to eye level. "Coffee should be cool enough now, that'll help your head."

"So will what you were doing."

"Well the sooner you drink your drink, the sooner I can get back to it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX

"Hey Cal." Jonathon walked into her office at The Acorn. "Can you go over this budget for The Avenue again?"

"Ugh really?" She moaned from where she was lying on the sofa.

"Yeah sorry." He finally took a second to take in his friend's appearance. "Hot doc warn you out?"

"Shut up." Callie was exhausted.

"Oh, you're not bored are you? I mean it makes sense, a different woman every week to the same one for two months."

"Jonathon!"

"Okay, but you know there is a supply of willing volunteers out that door." He said as he left.

As soon as the door shut it was opened again.

"Jonathon."

"Nope."

The Latina shot up when she heard Arizona's voice.

"Hey darling." But her greeting was met with cold eyes. The surgeon had heard Jonathon's comments. "What's up?"

"How many woman have you slept with?"

"That doesn't really matter." If she hadn't of been so tired, Callie would have connected this conversation with the one she had just had.

"Yes it does." The blonde replied flatly.

"No, it's not important."

"How can you say that? Of course it does. If I'm just the next in a long line?"

"Arizona?" The brunette tried to be patient. She knew her girlfriend was still struggling with Jasmine's infidelity, even if she wouldn't admit it.

"How long's the line before me?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Yes you can."

"No really I can't"

"You don't know? How can you not know? What kind of person doesn't know how many people they've screwed?"

Callie shook her head. "Where is this coming from?" She was rapidly losing her temper. Callie wondered what kind of person Arizona thought she was.

"I heard..."

"You heard a private conversation between me and Jonathon."

"You really had a different one every week?" Quick mental calculations told the surgeon that that was a lot. A lot of woman. A lot of times. A lot of experience.

"Okay, I don't have to defend the life I lived before you were in it."

"I just want a number. Some idea of what I'm competing with."

"What? You aren't competing."

"Well what if he was right? What if..."

"What if what Arizona?"

"If you do get bored, if you are bored of me, if you are used to all these different women throwing themselves at you, then you might..."

"Might what?" When Arizona looked to the ground, she walked closer to her. "If you're gonna accuse me of it then at least say it."

"Cheat." It was hushed, whispered. She really didn't want to believe it but Callie had been acting suspiciously for a while. Disappearing when her phone rang and being secretive.

"Go to hell. You can just go to hell. I love you. How can you think I'm capable of that?" She pushed past and out of the door.

The blonde just stood still. She wasn't sure what had happened. Her mind had gone into over drive and ended up somewhere irrational. She watched as her girlfriend walked out the room.


	17. Chapter 17

"Where is she?" Arizona stood at the bar of a totally empty Gregory's. She had gone over in her lunch break when she still hadn't heard anything from Callie.

"Who?" Jonathon acted dumb.

"Is she okay? Did she go on her business trip? "

"Yes, she went to LA but no, she's not okay. Her girlfriend accused her of cheating last night." He stared her down. He had spoken to his friend this morning and although she had explained to him why Arizona was so insecure, Jonathon couldn't get over how hurt she had sounded.

"I didn't accuse her."

"You thought she was capable and that's bad enough." He rounded the bar and began wiping tables.

"She's not. I know that."

"Really? Then what was last night about?"

"Me. My crap. I should never have said what I did."

"You know, I really don't get you. You stay with the woman who did cheat and push away the one who hasn't. What on Earth made you think she was being unfaithful?"

"She kept disappearing and making secret phone calls." As the words came out of her mouth, she knew it was weak reasoning.

"And you didn't maybe think it was a good kind of secret?"

Arizona shook her head and looked to the ground in shame. "I guess that says more about me. Then last night I overheard you."

"Me?"

"When you said about her getting bored and everything."

"Oh balls. Don't tell me you took that seriously." When the blonde nodded in response, he sat down and gestured for her to join him. "Me and Cal talk about sex. Like a lot, well we did anyway. Then you showed up. She got so jealous when she found out you were in a relationship. So much so that I had to point out that you meant more to her than she wanted. She was in love with you. I never thought I'd see the day. In the twelve years I've known her, Cal has just wondered through life, picking people up as she went. Then there was you. Now we don't talk about sex. It's all just relationships and well, I was bored. So I was goading her. I wanted her to talk to me the way she used to. It was banter, between friends. You weren't supposed to hear it. You certainly weren't supposed to believe it."

"I don't. Not really anyway. I need to apologise. She won't answer my calls or reply to my texts though." Arizona rested her head on the table, sighing in frustration. "I screwed up big time."

"Yeah, you did."

"Thanks."

"You hurt my friend. I was going to find you and slap you into next week."

"Why didn't you?" She wouldn't have been surprised.

"Cal would have done much worse to me."

"I probably deserve it."

"Not from where she's standing, apparently. She loves you too much. It's actually quite sickening."

"You really just wanted details of our sex life?" She didn't really understand her girlfriend's friendship with this man.

"What can I say, I'm perverted. It's what we used to do in college. I guess she finally grew out of it."

"So do you think she will wanna see me when she gets back?"

Jonathon took a deep breath and ran his hands through his dark hair. "I don't know. This is new territory but I reckon you're still gonna try, right?"

"I can't lose her." It was true. They'd only been in a relationship for two and a half months but the idea of being without Callie, it made her want to cry. "She knows me better than I know myself. She kept trying to get me to talk about what Jas had done. I just refused."

"Well that's probably a good starting point. What would you say is Callie's skill?"

"Getting in my head."

"Getting in everybody's head really. I reckon she could get a confession out of a serial killer. She hates talking about her stuff all the time so she gets everyone else to talk about theirs. I think she was getting a little frustrated that she had to keep telling you about her problems when she was getting so little back in return. She's terrified that your life will just become about her injury."

"I didn't think my issues were that important."

"Well, you were wrong."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arizona was sat in her office before the inevitable sound of a pager went off again. She hoped that she had time. After talking to Jonathon she knew what she had to do. Reaching for her phone, she hit speed dial for what was probably the fiftieth time in the past twelve hours. Unsurprisingly, it didn't get picked up and went straight to voicemail.

"Calliope, I know that you don't want to talk to me but I hope you at least listen to this message. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that, for one fleeting moment, I thought you could cheat on me. I know that you won't. You're probably mad that with all that you can't control in your life, I went a little crazy over something that you can. You'd never do that. Please forgive me. Phone me back or come home and scream at me. Yell and get angry, I can't take this silence. You saw this coming. You asked me about what happened with Jasmine and I refused because it still hurts but losing you hurts more so here goes. It was a nurse at Seattle Press, her hospital. I found out when another nurse transferred from there to Seattle Grace and I overheard her gossiping. It happened more than once. Jas cheated on me more than once and every time she came home to me and told me she loved me. I didn't even know. I loved her Calliope, not as much as I love you, but I did. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. Now I've got you though, well had you, and it's so much better, you're so much better. Please forgive me. I love you."

She hung up the phone and went back to work.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two days later Arizona received a text from Callie. She had gotten back from LA that day. It simply read:  
"Come home."

So when Arizona had finished her shift, she drove to Callie's apartment. She knocked on the door as she wasn't sure if she had the right to let herself in. When there was no answer she got a little worried and used her key. All of the lights were off apart from a low light coming from the bedroom. Inside, the brunette was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling, already in her bed clothes.

"Hey." The surgeon tentatively offered. In response, the other woman just pulled back the covers on the other side of the bed and took Arizona's PJs from under her pillow. Unsure of what was going on, the blonde just took them and went to the bathroom to get ready. This was not what she had been expecting. A few minutes later, she emerged and slowly joined Callie in bed, leaving a comfortable distance between them.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." Arizona immediately recognised the tiredness in Callie's voice.

"I should never have said it, any of it."

"It's okay, I forgive you."

"Just like that?"

"I had time to think in LA and I got your message. At any point did you think that I didn't love you?" Both women were yet to move their eyes away from the ceiling.

"No, that's why I was pretty sure you weren't when you kept acting weirdly and taking suspicious phone calls. It wasn't till Jonathon pointed out that it might have been a nice surprise that the thought even entered my head. Then when I heard him saying things to you about being bored, it kind of hit me. You've been with so many..."

She paused when Callie took her hand in hers. It shouldn't have felt weird because they held hands all the time but something about the situation made her jump.

"You're the best I've ever had because you mean something to me, everything to me. It doesn't matter how long the line is before you because there is no one after you. You are the last one. Don't you get it, you're not competing, I am." Frustration was seeping into the brunette's tone.

"How?"

"You loved her, you were going to spend the rest of your life with her. I have to compete with what you felt for Jasmine and all of the women you've ever loved. It's harder to fight feelings than actions Arizona. You are my first. The first person I have ever loved. The first person that has seen all of me. The first one to hold me in their arms and rock me back to sleep after a nightmare. How long is your line? It might be shorter but it meant a lot more." The blonde was stunned, she'd never realised that Callie was so insecure in their relationship. "If she hadn't of cheated on you, would we be together?"

"That's an unfair question Calliope."

"You asked me one once."

"But you knew the answer. You always know the freakin answer."

"Not this time I don't."

"It doesn't matter because she did cheat. She could do it but you wouldn't, couldn't do it. That's what matters. I know that."

"I'm tired Arizona." Callie huffed. She was too drained to delve into all this emotion. Travelling always did her in.

"You wanna go to sleep?"

"Yeah." The room was plunged into darkness when the Latina turned off the light. They were still holding hands.

"Are we..."

"We're okay." Callie declared.

"Then why are we so far apart?" She wasn't just referring to the space in the bed. It still felt like they were chasms apart emotionally.

"Because we're not good."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

After that Callie and Arizona had fallen asleep. For the next few days, things were difficult between them. Both seemed to feel responsible for Arizona's irrational outburst and it was driving a wedge through their relationship. They seemed to keep missing each other. The blonde was pulled into surgery whenever she went to leave the hospital and Callie was wrapped up with finishing the work at The Avenue. All in all it felt to the surgeon like they were slowly pulling a part. She decided that her partner needed to get angry, she had been so calm ever since the night in her office. It was unnerving. Arizona knew that Callie was getting more and more tired as days past and as a result was becoming emotionally detached. She decided that she would make her girlfriend sit down tonight and work all this out.

It was then that Arizona's pager went off. It was 911 to the pit. When she got there though she found no peds cases.

"What's going on?" She asked Mark as he rushed past. He turned round when he heard her. "I got a page?"

"Robbins." He spoke regretfully. "I'm sorry, it's Callie."


	18. Chapter 18

"Calliope?" She stood at the door of the trauma room for a second to compose herself before storming past everyone to get to her girlfriend's bed side. "Calliope, baby come on." Arizona took her hand and pleaded with Callie to wake up and open her eyes. Neither happened. She was unconscious. Arizona started searching the room for answers.

"What happened?" When nobody replied she shouted a little louder. "What happened?" But everybody was too busy stabilising the brunette. Suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder. When she turned, the blonde found Jonathon with an equally worried expression on his face. He pulled her in for a hug and whispered.

"Let them do what they need to."

"I'm not leaving." She insisted. "What the hell happened?"

"I found her at The Avenue when I opened up this morning at about 10 o'clock. She must have gone in early. She was at the bottom of the stairs; I think she must have fallen."

"Excuse me Dr Robbins." The peds surgeon turned around towards Derek's voice.

"Calliope is..."

"My girlfriend and this is her best friend, Jonathon." She explained, pointing behind her.

"Oh yes, her emergency contact. Well we're taking her to get some scans. We need to figure out if anything substantial is causing the loss of consciousness or if it's just her existing brain injury."

"This happened before right?" Arizona asked Jonathon.

"Yeah, she was out for two days. But she had been drinking then."

"Well, we've done a tox screen anyway."

"No Calliope doesn't drink anymore." The blonde interjected.

"Well just to be sure. I have to get up to radiology with Calliope now."

"Um, you might wanna call her Callie." Jonathon suggested. "She hates her full name."

Arizona was back by her partner's side. "Hey, sweetheart, they're gonna take you for some tests now. I'll be right here Calliope. Please wake up soon."

She stood routed to the spot as they wheeled her girlfriend out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX

Two hours later and Jonathon entered the room his friend was unconscious in. Next to the bed, Arizona was still holding Callie's hand. Her head CT was clear but she had some bruised ribs and a lot of swelling on her face from where she had hit the floor. He sat down in the seat next to the blonde.

"Are you still opening the club tonight?" She asked without looking away from her girlfriend.

"I don't have much choice really, not after all the promotional work. I don't want to leave her but at least she's stable."

"For now." The surgeon couldn't help being less than glass half full. She was still relatively new to all this.

"She'll be okay."

"I didn't know you were her emergency contact."

"Yeah, I guess she hadn't got around to changing it to you."

"No, I thought it would be her parents or sister."

"She wouldn't want her family to stress unnecessarily."

"This isn't enough of a reason to contact them?"

"Cal's kept a lot worse from them. If she isn't awake by tomorrow, we'll call them."He knew his friend wouldn't want them to come all the way from Miami but if things got worse he wouldn't have a choice.

"Was it you? Who found her after she over dosed?" She was yet to turn away from the sleeping form. Callie always found it a bit creepy when Arizona watched her sleep but she looked so peaceful. The blonde always felt better knowing that her partner was sleeping soundly.

"No, that was before college. It's scary to think..." Jonathon trailed off.

"That you came so close to never meeting her." She knew the feeling. A single tear streaked down her face.

"I should have made her stop and slow down. How come you didn't?" The anger creeping into his tone hit Arizona.

"I..." Things had gotten so messed up.

"Sorry, I know this isn't easy for you." He reached his hand out and placed it on the small of her back.

"I... Do you remember when you were younger and you thought love solved everything?"

"Doesn't it?"

"Well, I love her but all this crap still happened." The surgeon took a deep breath and finally turned to the man sat next to her. "We haven't really talked since she got back from LA. I've not really seen her, which is shit I know."

"Wait, you two haven't made up for that yet?"

"She said we were okay and that she forgave me but that might just be because..."

"Because?"

"I never realised that she was so worried about my exes."

"Well that's natural isn't it? The only thing that matters is if you're worried about them."

Arizona shook her head furiously. "She kicks their ass! Hands down!"

Jonathon nodded and stood up. "I have to go now. I want constant updates and if anything changes, you call me okay?"

"Yeah." She had already focused her attention back on to Callie.

"She'll be okay." He sounded more sure than he really was.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX

Left alone with her girlfriend, Arizona began talking to her, hoping she could hear her somewhere.

"Come on Calliope, you're starting to scare me now. I need you to wake up. We've got some things to go through. I've got a lot to make up for. You've gotta be here so I can apologise. You need to get angry with me. You'll never push me away if you do. You need to wake up and see me in my new dress. I bought it especially for the opening tonight. It's red Calliope, I know you love me in blue but I look pretty good in it, if I do say so myself." Arizona brought the tanned hand clutched in hers to her mouth and kissed each knuckle. "I love you. Please be okay." She pleaded.

"She will be." A voice she recognised to be Teddy's insisted.

"I can't lose her."

The cardio surgeon took the seat opposite. "Her scans are clear; it's just a matter of waiting. I don't need to tell you that though right? Bet you're an expert now."

"Ha," It was a humourless laugh. "That's just it. I'm a doctor but I don't know about this."

"Can't be easy, being with someone with a brain injury."

"Honestly? It sucks. She's great. Calliope is kind and thoughtful and generous. She's perfect. So perfect that I forget and go home to find that she isn't there. Not really. She's tired and distant. However hard it is for me though, watching it happen is worse. Imagine that being your life. Losing your mind all the time. It's worse for her and if me loving her can help in anyway, if I can make her as happy as she makes me? That's all I want."

"Wow, I've never seen you like this before. So sure about how you feel. It's good, even under these circumstances."

"She has to wake up."

"Then she will. I reckon Callie is that kind of person. You should get some rest yourself, you look shattered."

"I'm not leaving."


	19. Chapter 19

_Pain. That's what she felt as she woke up. Her throat was dry when she swallowed. It felt like she had eaten razor blades. Her face felt swollen and soar, as did her ribs. Her head though, that was the worse. It throbbed excruciatingly. As she moved it from side to side, it went from infinitely light to anchoring and heavy._

Arizona watched, holding her breath, as Callie slowly began to wake up. She instructed the nurse to page Derek.

_Callie knew that voice, she'd know it anywhere. She hadn't opened her eyes but she felt a body get closer. Something told her it was her girlfriend even if the smell of perfume was missing._

The blonde sat, perched on the side of the bed next to the brunette. One hand remained held in her pale one. Arizona used the other to gently remove stray locks from Callie's eyes.

"Hey sweetheart." The surgeon was overjoyed to say the least.

Derek signalled his arrival with a quick "Hello." Before asking "Can you tell us your name?"

Callie scoffed at the question. "Depends who's asking." Her eyes remained closed.

"I'm asking." Arizona squeezed her hands as she spoke.

"Utah."

The blonde giggled but Derek just looked perplexed.

"Come on, don't make me smash your face in."

"It feels like you already did." The Latina winced in pain, she tried to smile but that wasn't possible right now.

"I know you're in pain honey but just because you hate hospitals and doctors doesn't mean you can be awkward. The quicker you get through Dr Shepherd's neuro exam, the quicker you can get some more pain killers okay?"

"I'd nod but it hurts like a bitch." Callie opened her eyes cautiously.

"Then just answer the freaking question." The blonde tried to sound in charge but her smile betrayed her.

"Calliope Torres." She finally answered.

"Right." As Derek went through her exam he asked if she could remember what had happened.

"I..." Her voice was still hoarse from being asleep for so long. "I was at the top of the stairs. I was so tired and I was going to go lie down in the office downstairs. I think I tripped or misjudged how far the stairs were. I don't really remember."

"That's okay Calliope. You're gonna be okay." Her partner comforted her as tears rolled down Arizona's cheeks.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I thought I'd lost you."

"We're gonna be good." That's all Callie could come up with right now. She remembered their conversation in bed the other night and knew that the surgeon needed some reassurances.

Derek waited, not wanting to interrupt the two partners' conversation.

"Well you're neuro exam looks good but we won't really know what the effect all this will be on you long term. Although I'm sure you know this a lot better than I do. We'll keep you in for a bit to check there's nothing major. Get some rest Callie. It's good to see you awake."

He'd been out of the room all of two seconds when two new people entered.

"Calliope." Her parents said as they approached the bed.

"You got them out here?"

"You've been out for four days." Arizona explained.

"I have?"

"Yes," Her Dad said, "You had us quite worried."

"I'm sorry."

"Why weren't you looking after yourself mija?"

"Lucia, not now." Carlos spoke to his wife. They seemed to be having a conversation with their eyes in that way only married couples can.

Arizona used the opportunity to talk to Callie.

"I'm gonna go home for a shower and a change of clothes, okay baby? I won't be long."

"Okay." The blonde sensed her hesitation.

"Your parents are here and Jonathon will be soon as well. I'll be back in no time. I love you Calliope."

"I love you too but it hurts to move my head so I can't kiss you." Her voice sounded so fragile.

"That's okay." The blonde leant forward and placed a delicate kiss on Callie's lips. "I'll be back."

"You sound like the terminator."

"Well good to see your sense of humour is intact, even if it's lost some of its charm."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX

After her girlfriend had left, Callie sat with her parents. They did a lot of talking whilst their daughter slowly drifted off to sleep. She soon realised that the main topic of conversation was Arizona and how great she was. It was a topic that she had a lot to say for but a combination of tiredness and drugs meant she was uncharacteristically quiet.

When she woke up, Callie was disappointed that Arizona wasn't there. Instead there was her business partner. It had grown dark outside so the lights were on in the room.

"Hey." He started as he moved closer. "What's wrong?"

"Can you turn the lights off; they're too bright."

"Sure."

Once they were off she spoke again. "Where... where is..."

"Arizona went home to shower and change, remember?"

"Yeah." She did now.

"Trust me it's a good thing. She hasn't left this room in four days. She needed a shower."

"Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking about."

"So she is still your girlfriend then?"

"Of course, why wouldn't she be?"

"Look, I like her and on the whole I'd say she was really good for you. I've never seen you this happy but would you have gone down those stairs if things weren't so difficult between you right now? Is it your dam insecurities that were keeping you from sleeping before?"

"Would you prefer that I was still going from stranger to stranger?" Callie was getting angry.

"No look, I'm sorry. Like I said, I do like her but you are my priority. If you're better off with her then good. It's your relationship."

"I know you're just looking out for me."

"Speaking of which, hot doc won't be too happy if you don't get the rest you need."

"No she won't be." Arizona announced from the door.

"And on that note, I'm gonna leave. See you later Cal."

"Bye." Callie responded.

The surgeon perched back on the side of her bed as Jonathon left.

"Oh crap, I didn't ask how the club opening went."

"You don't need to worry about that honey. How's your pain?"

"Painful."

"You're trying to be a difficult patient, aren't you?"

"I hate hospitals."

"We'll get you out soon."

Callie moved over so that her partner could lie in the small bed with her. The blonde wrapped her arms around her tender body.

"So, Jonathon thinks you should break up with me?" Her question was only half serious.

"No, he's just making sure I'm okay. You don't like him, do you?"

"I do. I mean maybe I don't get the friendship you have but he has your best interests at heart. That's something we have in common."

"I guess."

"Have you had any symptoms of your injury?" When Callie just closed her eyes, Arizona knew what to do. She links their fingers and kisses her lips. "I love you so much. I thought that I had loved before but nothing compares to this. I think I'd die if I lost you. Do you remember what you said that time I got drunk and cried on your shoulder? That times like this are when you step up and show you're worthy. Well give me some credit here. I'm not gonna walk out on you for anything so tell me what's going on so I can help you. All I want to do is help you. Love you."

Suddenly deep brown eyes revealed themselves.

"I can't... when I look at you; I know that I love you. I know about our fight. I know how we met. I know about London. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you but..."

"But?"

"I can't remember... your name." She closed her eyes again in shame and was surprised when lips attached to hers again.

"What do you mean London?"

"Really, that's it? We've been together for all this time and I can't..."

Arizona shrugged. "It'll come back." Underneath, the blonde was panicking but she couldn't let on. She meant it when she said she wasn't going anywhere. "So London?" The blonde prompted, thinking it was a good idea to encourage the things Callie did remember.

The Latina took one deep breath. "That's what the phone calls were about. My Dad has an apartment in London; I was going to take you away for a week. I was talking to him and his pain in the ass assistant."

"Well now I feel like an ass."

"No, I understand why you got scared. I shouldn't have acted so suspiciously but I wanted it to be a surprise. I was gonna tell you when the arrangements were all made so that you could get time off work."

"You said about not telling "her". Who?"

"My Mom. You seem to talk to her more than I do and she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret." The surgeon smiled; that was very true.

"Why are you taking me to London?" She couldn't think of any occasion that would be a good enough reason to fly half way around the world.

"Because I love you darling."

"That's it?"

"That's not enough?"

"I've never had anybody take me away just because."

Callie suddenly began crying uncontrollably. "Hey." Arizona soothed.

"I can't remember your fucking name!" The blonde was taken aback slightly by the volume and language. She knew Callie was angry with herself and held her as tight as she could without causing discomfort to her bruised ribs.

"Do you remember yours?" It was a good place to start.

"Callie."

"Your father's?"

"Dad."

"Calliope."

"Carlos. And my Mom's name is Lucia and my sister's name is Aria. Yours... yours is Arizona. How the hell could I forget that?" She scolded herself.

"One too many bangs on the head. I told you it would come back. You need to get some rest now, we both do really."

"Don't leave." The brunette asked as her heavy eyes closed for the final time that day.

"Never."


	20. Chapter 20

"I forgot her name Dad, her name!" It was just the two of them in her hospital room the next day. "What kind of person forgets their girlfriend's name?"

"One with a brain injury." He remained calm. "Mija, the last time this happened you forgot your own name. That was more concerning to me."

"It's not fair on her to have to put up with this."

"But she does. Just like it's not fair for you to have to live with this but you do."

"You don't get it!" She snapped. Carlos knew his daughter wouldn't normally and that her outbursts were a direct result of her most recent head trauma. "Have you got any idea how it feels to look at a person and see everything, your entire future, but not connect any of that to a stupid name?"

"I do." A new voice spoke. Sarah was stood at the door.

"I'm sorry, this is a private conversation." Carlos began.

"No it's okay Dad; she's one of my kids. Actually can you give us a minute?"

"Anything you need Mija."

"Shouldn't you be at school?" She asked Sarah.

"Study day."

"Oh yeah, Calliope had plenty of those when she was your age." He joked as he left.

"Well, you turned out alright." The teenager argued as she sat down. "I've been nominated to come check up on you anyway."

"I'm fine; well I will be when I get out of here."

"When's that gonna be?"

"Today hopefully but that's only because my girlfriend's a doctor here."

"Ah, Doctor Robbins. That's whose name you forgot."

"Yeah." Callie looked down in defeat.

"Hey, you know better than I do that it's a part of this whole brain injury thing."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Wow, how the roles have been reversed. I don't know if it's more comforting to know that you really get what this is like or concerning that you're still going through it all these years later."

"You guys help get me through the rough spots."

"Glad to be of service. What about Arizona?"

A smile grew on the brunette's face at the simple mentioning of her partner. It still hurt though so she reigned it in. "She gets me through all of it. I never forget that; just what she's called. It's ridiculous."

"Yeah, it's kind of like when you know what a refrigerator does and everything inside it but you can't connect it with the word. It's just a label. Maybe she could wear a name badge?" Sarah playfully suggested.

"Because that's not patronising. Your analogy could probably do with a little bit of work too."

Both of them started laughing although Callie had to fight the pain in her ribs and face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX

Carlos found Arizona in the cafeteria. She'd been asked to give her girlfriend some time with her Dad and so had decided to go get some coffee. He sat down opposite.

"You love my daughter." The statement was clear and unquestioning.

"I love your daughter." She parroted.

"More importantly from where I'm standing, she loves you. Thank you."

"What for?" The blonde asked as she took a sip from her coffee.

"We're not idiots; my wife and I. You are her first girlfriend but you're not her first... well she is thirty after all. We don't judge her. She is living a life that nobody deserves so however she goes about it, we won't interfere. We are happy though, that she has found someone to settle down with. Even happier that it's someone like you."

"I haven't done anymore than anybody else would have."

"That's where you're wrong, unfortunately. If my daughter has let you in half as much as I think she has and you haven't run then that tells me two things. One: you see her as a whole person, not her injury. And two: she trusts you. That's huge, Arizona. She keeps things from us. We know that and we know that she is trying to protect us but she needed to let someone in. So thank you."

"I love your daughter for who she is and her injury is a part of that. It would be stupid to ignore it, even if I could but clearly it's still affecting her. You shouldn't be thanking me. I should be apologising to you."

"Why?"

"I'm sorry that she fell down the stairs."

"It wasn't your fault." He declared resolutely.

"No, we had an argument and she wasn't..."

Carlos interrupted. "It wasn't your fault. Calliope tells the story of your fall out very differently."

That didn't help. Arizona still felt responsible. She chugged the rest of her drink and looked back to Mr Torres. He clearly had more to say but seemed apprehensive.

"Don't take this the wrong way but I wouldn't have thought you'd be as accepting as you are."

"Is there a right way to take that?" He raised his eyebrows in the same way Callie does.

"Calliope being gay, it didn't upset you?"

He smile sadly and raised his right hand, his palm flat. "Dad, I'm gay." He then raised his left in a similar way, only higher. "Dad, what's my sister's name again? The two don't really compare."

"Is it always names she struggles with?" Arizona hadn't stopped thinking about the previous night.

"They've always been difficult for her."

"You're gonna tell me that things are gonna get even more difficult aren't you?" She had worked that out already.

"Love only goes so far, Arizona. You're going to see some sides of my daughter that aren't really her. The part of her brain most damaged was mood and memory. You've already seen the effects on memory. She's going to forget names of people and things and she'll get frustrated. Her speech will be more slurred and she'll get tired more easily for a while. It's the mood swings though, that you need to be prepared for. Anger, depression, fear, going from wanting to be held to not being touched at all. It's not easy to watch." Carlos didn't want to scare the surgeon but she needed to know what to expect.

"I... I'm not gonna let anything happen to her. I've taken the next week off at least to be with her. You aren't sticking around?"

"She'll hate us hanging around and will probably be more guarded if we do. She won't recover as quickly if she's worried about us. We're leaving tonight, if you think you're going to be okay."

"I don't have a choice."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Goodbye mija." Mr Torres kissed his daughter goodbye and then stepped aside to let his wife do the same. He turned and hugged Arizona. "Good luck." He whispered only loud enough for her to hear.

"You take care of yourself, Calliope. And let Arizona help you." Lucia said as she too hugged the blonde. Over the last few days she had watched this woman by her daughter's bedside 24/7.

"I will." Callie spoke groggily.

"We'll be alright." Arizona insisted.

"Well, goodbye. We'll call you when we touchdown in Miami."

"Yes, and if you need anything, call us." Mrs Torres was talking to the surgeon rather than Callie.

When they had left Arizona spoke again. "So we need to get you dressed."

"Okay." She went to take off the gown but a sharp pain shot through her chest.

Seeing Callie wince, the blonde put the clothes down on the bed and moved closer. "Want me to help?"

"You don't normally ask to take off my clothes." The statement was flirtatious but she sounded regretful. Arizona slowly reached behind and pulled the hospital gown away, revealing the Latina's bare chest. It was bruised and battered.

"Can you lift your arms up honey?"

She did so painfully and lowered them when her shirt was on. Just as gently, the blonde helped her girlfriend get the rest of her clothes on. There was a knock at the door and Derek entered.

"So, I wouldn't be too happy letting you go just yet but luckily for you, Dr Robbins put forward a persuasive argument." When Callie looked confused he elaborated. "She is going take care of you and give me updates. Seeing as she has been doing that from this room anyway, I figured you'd be more comfortable in your own home."

"I also threatened to mess up his hair." Arizona explained.

The brunette laughed. "Don't do that it hurts."

"Sorry baby."

"Speaking of which, I've prescribed some strong painkillers for your head, face and ribs. I'd also suggest anti-inflammatory cream. So if you're all set? Goodbye Callie."

"Thank you and don't be offended but I hope I won't see you for a while."

"Calliope." Arizona scolded.

"No it's okay; I get it. I hope not to see you either."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Relax baby."

Callie did as she was told and rested her head back on the bath. Arizona was sat on the side with a glass of wine. When the Latina tried to take a deep breath, she grimaced in pain.

"It'll get better."

"Yeah." Callie replied half heartedly.

"Your ribs and face will get better." Arizona amended.

"I know." She looked up to see the blonde staring down at her. "You don't have to watch me all the time." There was anger mixed in with the fatigue laced in her tone.

"You want me to treat you like nothing has happened. I'd usually sit here like this." She reasoned.

"No, usually you'd be in here with me." The brunette correctly pointed out.

"We're not ready for that."

"Arizona," Callie groaned in frustration. "I'm gonna be a really shit girlfriend for I don't know how long. You need to accept that I forgive you. We've got to get over that to deal with this."

"Okay." The surgeon closed her eyes briefly before looking into her partner's. "Tomorrow, I'll get in the bath with you." She promised.

"Fine but tonight you can rub the cream on my ribs."

"Deal."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three nights later and Arizona was lying in bed thinking about recent events. Carlos had been right and it was killing her. Callie went from up to down. From wanting to be held to refusing any physical contact. The blonde was struggling to know which way was up. At least they were still in the same bed.

Suddenly there was movement behind her as the Latina put on her bedside lamp. Arizona turned onto her back and watched as her girlfriend reached for the bottle of painkillers which never seemed to be too far away.

"Calliope." She started. They had this conversation constantly. Arizona had no idea how many pills she had been taking. Deep down, she knew that her partner wouldn't do anything stupid but this wasn't her Calliope. Her plea went ignored so she reached for the bottle. "Calliope?"

"No!" The brunette screamed. She used all her force, momentarily forgetting about her ribs. And rolled on top of the blonde. She pinned her down by her hands. Arizona saw nothing of the woman she loved behind her dark eyes. They were almost black with rage and the blonde was terrified. "No! You don't get it. You don't get how much this hurts. My head is gonna explode. How about I smash your head into a wall a few times then you might have some clue!"


	21. Chapter 21

"No! You don't get it. You don't get how much this hurts. My head is gonna explode. How about I smash your head into a wall a few times then you might have some clue!" The brunette yelled down into Arizona's face.

"I'm sorry." She screamed in return.

"You're sorry!" She moved her hands from around pale wrists and grabbed the neckline of the blonde's shirt. "That's all you've fucking got, you're sorry!"

Pale hands tried to pull Callie's away from near her neck, unsure as to what Callie would do next. It was no use though; the brunette seemed to have even more strength than usual. Arizona resigned herself to closing her eyes and trying to turn away from the voice that was still shouting at her.

"You'll never get it! You won't understand what this is like. It's me! It's just me and I'm alone in this! Just me and my stupid head. You get to be normal. It's not fair! You don't know!"

Arizona put her arms over her face. "Please don't hurt me Calliope."

Callie froze; it was like she finally realised what she was doing. Quickly she rolled off Arizona and onto the bed. The peds surgeon ran out of the room and out of the apartment. On the way she grabbed the bag she'd brought over from her own place. In the elevator she threw some clothes on over her PJs. Before she knew it, Arizona was outside. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her phone and a pack of cigarettes. It wasn't a habit that she was proud of but sometimes she just needed to smoke. Before Callie fell down the stairs, Arizona hadn't had one since finding out about Jasmine's infidelity.

With a shaky hand she brought the lit cigarette to her mouth. The Latina had been having mood swings but that was completely different. Her girlfriend had been replaced with a monster. It was terrifying. Callie had always used her strength to show nothing but love. She picked her up in her arms or stopped her walking away when she needed to talk. Never in a million years had Arizona imagined that the brunette could do anything to hurt her physically. For one moment though, she had just believed it was possible.

Back in the bedroom, the wrenching pain in Callie's head had been joined by a surging one in her ribs. That wasn't the worst feeling she had though. Shame. Guilt. Disgust. They were closer to the mark. With some difficulty, the brunette tried to follow Arizona. She found the living area empty. A fresh burst of pain burnt through her head and she crashed to the floor in a heap, sobbing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Exhaling smoke, Arizona dropped what was left of her cigarette and found the number she was looking for in her phone.

"Jonathon?"

"Yeah, what's up; it's after midnight." He clearly hadn't been asleep and judging by the noise in the background, he was still at the club.

"You... you need to... go to the apartment. Calliope's apartment. She's in trouble... A really bad state."

"Why aren't you there?"

"I was... I had to... I left, okay? I ran out. You just need to get there. Now!" Distress was ringing through her voice.

"Arizona..." But the call ended and she had cut him off. Without a second thought he made his way over.

He let himself in and the scene he found made his heart break. Lying, curled up in a ball was his best friend. She was in the doorway to her bedroom, a crying wreck. Jonathon had no idea what had happened but he knew that it must have been huge for Arizona to leave.

Somehow he managed to get Callie back in bed and let her take some more painkillers. He stayed up all night and stroked her hair as she cried herself to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX

The blonde was now back in her own apartment for the first time in forever. She found a bottle of vodka in the back of a cupboard and poured herself one to help with the shock.

She settled down on the sofa and laid back. As she closed her eyes though the image of Callie with her eyes black as night and the rage and pain torturing her expression, was back over her again. Arizona shook her head and willed herself to think of something else. The first thing that came to mind was, again, her girlfriend. This time though it was a very pleasant memory from their first month together.

_She woke up to open mouthed kisses down her neck._

"_Morning." She hummed as Callie's mouth reached her collar bone._

"_Morning darling. Ready for a little wakeup call?" The Latina's tongue had also come out to play on her skin. They were both still naked from the night before._

"_I've got to get ready for work." Arizona argued. The brunette just ignored her so she rolled them over and sat back on her heels. "I said no."_

"_Really?" Callie challenged. "I think some part of you is saying yes." She smirked as she ran two fingers through her folds._

_The blonde hadn't realised that from underneath, Callie had a perfect view of the naked expanse of flesh that was Arizona's chest. The Latina sat up and started kissing her lips that were parted by the gasp she had let out. It was involuntary. Something she couldn't help when Callie's hands set to work._

_The brunette broke the kiss. "You're so wet Arizona." Their mouths latched onto one another's again for a few minutes. "You really don't want me to?"_

"_Oh God!" Arizona yelped when the tip of a finger found her clit. She wrapped her arms around the tanned neck in front. "I guess I just can't resist you." She was breathless. They were soon kissing again. Deep and slow, just like Callie's movements inside of her. _

_The night before had been rough and dirty but now both woman were locked in a tight embrace. Their tongues slid over one another and danced to the intensifying beat of their hearts. Arizona had never felt more loved. Callie was selflessly giving her everything she had._

_The Latina's fingers thrust harder and harder, curling every now again. Her thumb began paying more attention to the swollen bundle of nerves. The blonde ripped her mouth away from her partner's as she screamed through her release. The hand inside her slowed its pace gently and she continued to massage Arizona's walls gently. Eventually she was back down from her orgasm but they remained sat on the bed, arms around each other._

_Callie started kissing her neck again before whispering in her ear. "You're gonna be late for work." The blonde pulled back to look into her soulful eyes._

"_Yeah, and I don't think the chief will accept sex with my hot girlfriend as an excuse." Her voice was hoarse from the screams of last night and this morning._

"_Maybe you should go in the shower then."_

"_Probably." Arizona agreed but made no attempt to move. "But I do owe you for my wake up call." She pointed out with a heart stopping smile._

"_I could always join you." The brunette suggested her grin just as wild._

Back on her sofa, Arizona started to cry at the bitter sweet memory. In that moment their relationship had been less complicated than any she'd had before. It was her and a woman who loved her. It still was but there was now a whole lot more to contend with.

She was scared. What scared her more was that she didn't know if she could get over her fear to go back to Callie's.


	22. Chapter 22

Early the next morning, Arizona stood outside the doors of her girlfriend's apartment complex.

"Coward." She whispered to herself as she reached for one final cigarette. Just then Jonathon walked out of the doors; a cigarette in his own hand. After they had acknowledged each other and lit up, she spoke. "Didn't know you smoked."

"Cal's always on at me to stop. What about you? Shouldn't doctors know better?"

"I only smoke when I'm really stressed. How is she? Is it okay, you leaving her?"

"Yeah, I only came down because I saw you from the balcony. She's not okay. I found her on the floor in the foetal position, screaming. What the hell happened?"

The blonde shook her head as the image formed in her head. "If... you're her friend so if she hasn't told you then, I won't."

"Well she hasn't told me but she hasn't said anything. She managed a few hours sleep but now she's on the sofa watching cartoons like a twelve year old. It's weird."

"I left." Arizona's voice was full of shame. "How can I walk back in there, I left?"

"If this was a few months ago, I'd be having a go at you. Or if something small had happened then I would be too but judging from the marks on your arms, it got heavy. I remember what she was like the last time."

"How was she then?"

"She..." Jonathon stomped out his cigarette. "You're gonna go back into that apartment because neither of you would be acting like this if it wasn't for the situation. You know she loves you and she knows it's hard for you."

The surgeon nodded and followed the dark haired man into the building.

When they got to the door, he entered first. "Hey Cal."

"Arizona's here." She declared. The blonde was stunned; from the door, she couldn't see Callie but it was her voice. Last night it had been like a train, steaming towards her with so much force. Now it was so quiet.

"Yeah," Jonathon confirmed. "How did you..."

"Her perfume." Arizona smiled at that, even if Callie's tone had not been loving.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked to the room.

The Latina answered, "No you can go."

He turned to the blonde. "What about you?"

"If she feels more comfortable with you gone, then go."

"Okay, see you later Callie. Call me if you need anything."

"Goodbye." Her voice was so fragile.

"Thanks for last night Jonathon."

"Any time." With that the door closed. They were alone together again.

She made her way around the sofa, finally taking note of what Callie was watching. As she sat down on the coffee table, she spoke again.

"Looney tunes hey? Me and Tim always used to argue about who was funnier, Bugs or Daffy."

"Daffy." The brunette responded instantly. Arizona studied her appearance. She somehow seemed so small, like one tiny thing would make her crumble completely. Her eyes were fixed on the TV.

"You two would have got on well."

"Yeah I'm sure he'd have taken one look at your arms and decided we should be best friends."

"Calliope..."

"You can go empty your dresser drawer; I'm not gonna stop you."

"I'm not going to do that."

"Yes you are." Callie insisted, still not forceful in tone. The only word for it was sad.

"I love you." Tears were starting to fall down Arizona's cheeks.

"I love you too, I love you enough to say goodbye."

"No! Look at me Calliope." The other woman just stayed staring at the screen. "If you're doing this, you need to actually look at me." The brunette slowly sat up so that she was mirroring Arizona. "I'm sorry I ran."

Callie shook her head. "I made you. I'm sorry for what happened... I don't really know how I... I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"No, it's far from okay. Anything but okay Arizona."

"You'd never hurt me. If I know anything it is that."

"But I did!" The Latina was getting more frustrated.

"No. Pain changes us; it can make us behave irrationally, like a totally different person. For you to have let what happened last night happen, to even threaten me, you must have been in agony. I shouldn't have tried to stop you taking any painkillers."

"I've only been taking them every four hours, like the prescription." Technically speaking, Callie wasn't looking her partner in the eye. She was staring at the bruises forming on her fair wrists.

"I know, I just got scared."

"That's why you left."

"Yeah." Arizona raised one of her hands and gently stroked a lock of raven hair behind Callie's ear. She followed the hand with her eyes and willed herself to stay calm when she felt it against her face. When she finally looked into those blue eyes, she didn't see the fear or anger that she was expecting. The surgeon spoke again. "But I'm here now and I can't lose you, Calliope."

"I don't really want you to go."

"Well that's good." The blonde was satisfied with the small smile that played on the Latina's lips.

"You don't trust me." The sadness had returned again. "I think I need to show you something but I don't know if I should."

"I do trust you."

"No not about one thing."

"Okay, well you can show me anything you need to then. First though, can we go to the hospital?" Arizona watched her girlfriend's face drop. "I know; I know you hate them but it won't take long. Just get a scan and let Derek look at you. I wanna be sure nothing's changed up there." She said as she ran her hand through Callie's hair.

"Okay."

"Really?"

"I know that last night is just a part of this, of having another trauma but if you need me to get a scan to give you piece of mind then I'll do it."

"Thank you."

"I'll just go get in the shower quickly." Callie positioned herself to stand up as easily as possible with her ribs in their current condition.

"Wait a sec." Arizona placed her hands on the other woman's thighs. She slowly leant forwards, giving her partner plenty of time to move. Callie didn't, in fact she was overjoyed. It was like electricity passed between them when their lips made contact. Tanned hands found their way into blonde curls. They only separated when they needed to breath. "Morning." The surgeon whispered.

"Morning darling."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX

A few hours later and Callie and Arizona had stopped for lunch on the way back from the hospital. As the brunette had said, nothing showed up on the scan but she had seen her girlfriend visibly relax when she saw the image. Derek too had been glad to check up on her. They were now sat opposite each other finishing off the last of their coffees.

"So, I spoke to the chief." Arizona started.

"Yeah?"

"He said that if I go back to work in a few days and work for about a month, catch up on scheduled procedures and tie up some loose ends, I can get another week off. If you still want to go to London."

Callie shook her head.

"Oh, okay. I'll tell him to scrap that plan then. Don't worry." She couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice.

The Latina laughed and took Arizona's hand. "No, I was shaking my head because I can't believe you still wanna go with me. This morning I thought we were done."

"Never."

"I'll talk to my Dad about the dates."

"Really? You're gonna call them." Callie hadn't really spoke to her parents since they left, instead relying on Arizona to keep them updated.

"Yeah, at some point."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX

When they got back to the apartment the brunette disappeared momentarily after telling Arizona to wait in the living area. After a few minutes, she called the blonde into the bedroom. She found Callie sat on her side of the bed with a book in her hand and took a seat next to her.

"Nobody's ever seen this before." The Latina seemed to be weighing up whether or not she should hand it over.

"You don't have to show me." The blonde insisted.

"Yeah I do, actually. You get freaked whenever I take a pill or go and stand on the balcony. Especially since I fell down the stairs. That's what you don't trust me about."

Arizona couldn't argue with that point. "So what's that?" She prompted as she pointed at the book.

"When I was younger, I'd write down the things that I couldn't tell anybody. My deepest, darkest moments. I was pretty sure that if I told people I'd get sectioned. If you read this you'll see the difference between then and now. Maybe you'll see that I'm not that seventeen year old kid anymore. I've got a whole lot more to live for now."

"So do you trust me enough to see it?"

"Yes." Callie replied without hesitation. "Yes." She repeated as she passed Arizona the book.

It felt heavy in the blonde's hands and not just physically. The thoughts and feelings of a teenage Callie were kept inside. The other woman knew that this could backfire and Arizona would never take an eye off her if it did. She had to give over the last piece of this nightmare. If only so that the surgeon could make a fully informed decision.


	23. Chapter 23

Callie had drifted off to sleep when Arizona had taken the journal. When she woke up it was dark outside. After rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and stretching as best she could, the brunette walked out of the room. To say she was puzzled by the sight was an understatement.

Her girlfriend was cooking. Callie moved to lean against the counter top to the left of the cooker.

"Hey," Arizona's voice was upbeat but not forced. "How'd you sleep?" She turned her head as she continued to stir the food.

"Really well." She replied, stifling a yawn. "But I'll be out like a light tonight still I think."

"That's good. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I've never seen this before; I didn't think that you could cook."

This was always a strange aspect of their relationship; even through the heaviest of times or moments of most anguish, it could all flip and become light and fluffy. Both of them just went with it, enjoying it when it came.

"What do you think I did before I met you?" The blonde asked.

"I dunno, have less satisfying sex?"

Arizona laughed aloud. "That's like the last thing I expected you to say."

"Okay well, I also thought you got somebody else to cook for you."

"No, I had to do all the cooking in most of my relationships. I'm nothing compared to you but I am capable." She raised her attention again from the saucepan. "Okay, now why are you looking at me like that?" The surgeon asked when she saw the look on her partner's face.

"I really want to wrap my arms around you."

"So why don't you?" She knew why, after last night and the book, Callie needed to ask first. That's just who Callie was; it was clear that she didn't want to make the blonde uncomfortable.

"I didn't know if that would be okay." The Latina said sheepishly.

"I don't know either." Arizona replied honestly.

The taller woman stepped behind her girlfriend and slowly positioned her arms around the blonde's waist. Instinctively, she leant back into the embrace. Callie hadn't held her since falling down the stairs.

"Okay?"

The blonde took a deep breath and relaxed. "Yeah, okay."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The brunette insisted that she clear up after their meal and when she walked back towards the sofa afterwards, she found Arizona asleep. As quietly as possible, Callie sat down on the coffee table, content to just watch. The surgeon began to stir slightly and buried herself further into the sofa. As she did, a lock of blonde hair fell in front of her face. Callie went to tuck it back behind her ear causing Arizona to open her eyes in surprise.

"Sorry." Callie said quickly. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay." She reached for one of the Latina's hands. In return Callie began gently playing with the silver bracelet she had given to her girlfriend as a birthday present.

"You're wearing it." She needlessly pointed out.

"Of course." Arizona was still lying down; a sleepy smile on her face.

Callie was trying to process the sight of the gift against the bruise on the pale wrist. "It's like the good, the bad and the ugly." She commented.

The surgeon was unsure how to respond. "Are you ready for a bath?"

"Yeah." She stopped Arizona when she went to stand up. "Wait, I can do it. Just give me a few minutes. Rest."

When the blonde walked into the bathroom she found that Callie was already in the tub.

"Oh," Arizona started. "Did you not want me to join you?"

In response the brunette just tilted her head as if to say "don't be ridiculous, of course I did."

"Okay." She took all of her clothes off and went to get in the bath at the opposite end.

"I was hoping you'd come up here." Callie knew that Arizona might feel uncomfortable with that. "I mean if you'd rather..."

"Make some room then." She interrupted. The Latina did just that and guided her girlfriend to sit between her legs. She could feel the blonde's hesitation and took her hands away. Arizona began rubbing circles with her thumb at the side of Callie's knees.

"Are you okay?"

This was her Calliope. Considerate and gentle. She wanted nothing more than to lean back and feel her chest against her back but she needed to be sure.

"It feels like you; like you're back."

"I am darling, for now at least." Arizona nodded but didn't move any further. The brunette cupped some water in her hands and let it fall over one shoulder and then did the same the other side. She cautiously started to massage away the tension. It wasn't enough though and her partner still wouldn't relax, so she started to sing.

"Do you remember the 21st night of September?  
Love was changing the mind of pretenders while chasing the clouds away."

It worked and by the end of the song Arizona was leaning against her. The blonde was letting the feeling of being like this with Callie again wash over her. Suddenly a glass of white wine was in front of her. She took a sip and revelled in the familiarity of it all. Even before the events of the previous night, taking baths together had been somewhat awkward. Arizona still felt guilty for their argument and was terrified of hurting Callie further. She only really joined her because she asked her to.

This was like when they were first together though. Except for one thing: instead of her partner's hands on her stomach they were on her arms. The Latina was hung up on the marks that she had caused.

"I'm sorry." It was whispered so quietly that Arizona almost missed it.

"It's okay."

"No. No, it's far from okay. Anything but okay Arizona."

"I don't blame you."

"You ran."

"I'm sorry." It was now the surgeon apologising.

"I don't blame you."

"I told you that I never would." Both woman were silently weeping.

"You came back. It just proves you're human." The blonde felt a tear land on her shoulder and she turned her head to kiss Callie's cheek. The Latina then also turned and delicately kissed her lips. "I was beginning to think that you were a cyborg."

"Oh really?" The smile that now played on her lips was reflected by Callie.

"Yeah but between that and the smoking I can be pretty sure you're not."

Arizona's face dropped. "You know about that?"

"I have a brain injury darling; my vision goes blurry but I don't lose my sense of smell."

"You never said anything."

"I'm not going to complain about what you need to do to put up with me."

"I'm not putting up with you; I love you."

"I love you too." Callie declared before kissing her again.

"Last night, the things you said, they were like something out of that book."

"I don't even remember what I said; I'm sorry."

"It's... you said things about being alone and it not being fair that I don't have to go through what you do."

"Oh... I didn't mean it you know."

"I know."

"I'd never want you to... Oh crap I threatened to... hurt you. How can you even..."

"That's not what I'm worried about honey. You were right. I do see the difference between who you were when you tried to... well you know."

"Kill myself." Callie finished.

"Yeah and I see you're not that kid but last night you were. It took you back there and that's terrible." She was looking at the Latina as if pleading with to make it all go away. Waiting to hear an explanation to put her mind to rest.

"I think I hit rock bottom and that I had to in order to come back. I'm not saying that we're totally okay but I feel better. That's all I can offer."

"I... I'll take it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX

Both women were back in bed that night. Callie was awoken early in the morning by sudden movement behind her. It was then that she heard the most heart breaking sound of her life.

"Calliope please don't hurt me. I'm sorry. Please don't!"


	24. Chapter 24

"Calliope please don't hurt me. I'm sorry. Please don't!"

Arizona was so deep in her nightmare that she couldn't hear Callie begging for her to wake up. In a desperate attempt she gathered the blonde up in her arms and rolled back over so that she was lying on her back with Arizona's head on her chest. The Latina stroked her hand through golden curls and whispered in her ear.

"Hush baby. I'm not gonna hurt you I'm sorry. Wake up for me darling; you're safe Arizona. I promise."

The surgeon's pleas had grown quieter and they were now replaced with small sniffles and the occasional sob. They lay there for a while and Callie let her partner calm down but didn't let her go. Arizona focused on the softness of the skin beneath the brunette's tank top. It was warm below her cheek. She inhaled the smell of bubble bath that still hung onto Callie's body. She let the feeling of being held in such a tight embrace sink in. She wasn't scared anymore. She was safe.

"I love you darling." The Latina's voice was sad. Arizona pulled back and ran the back of her hand across Callie's cheek.

"I'm... I'm gonna go get a drink okay?" Callie nodded in reply. "Try to get some sleep sweetheart. I'll be okay?" And with that she extricated herself from the arms around her and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

While she was there she spotted her girlfriend's journal on the coffee table. Before she knew it, Arizona was sat back on the sofa rereading what she had earlier. The book didn't contain long passages, more short, scribbled entries. She opened the first page; it read:

_I'm unsure how to start this but I suppose I'm even more unsure how it will end. I'll get there though; I'm too stubborn to let it leave me behind. Me and my brain injury: A love- hate relationship. Living with a brain injury is full of contradictions. Like how I've spent years wanting everyone else to understand but when people ask me I'm okay because they realise that something is wrong, that's when I lie. I tell them yes because other people paying attention to it makes me feel like it's a really big issue because it's affecting the rest of the world. That makes me uncomfortable so I lie._

Fair fingers flick through the pages to an entry Callie must have written at school.

_Why won't you let me work? It is only second lesson! Everything is fuzzy and distant like I can't quite touch normality. It feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall and it's stopping me having any kind of effect on anything._

_Let me be normal!_

On the page directly opposite were the words:

_Hold my hand and keep me safe before I do something stupid and throw everything that I've thought about and fought for away._

Arizona found herself back at the most heart breaking passage:

_I wish I wasn't scared all the time but I am. When I say scared I mean scared that:_

_I will do something stupid and hurt myself or someone else._

_I will push everyone away._

_I will let someone in and tell them stuff only for them to walk away and break my heart._

_I will screw up my life._

_I will never have a descent relationship with anyone._

_My injury will get worse._

_Unless you have a brain injury you won't really understand but if I have given this book to you though, thank you. I trust you. As I write this I've no idea who you are but I love you. You have given me hope._

Tears stung Arizona's cheeks as she thought about a teenage Callie scribbling down all of her darkest feelings. The idea that she had nobody to tell them to. She was suddenly aware of a presence behind her. The blonde wiped away her tears away as best she could.

"I told you to go to sleep."

"Not without you." Callie responded as she moved to sit back on the coffee table as she had earlier. The Latina took the journal from her partner's hands and squeezed some of the anti-inflammatory cream into her hands.

"That's ridiculous; you need to rest." She watched Callie's movements closely but didn't argue when she took one of her wrists in hands and began rubbing in the soothing gel.

"It's your rule remember." The brunette moved onto the other wrist. "Don't obsess over what's in that book."

"I'm not; it's just that I wish I could have been there then."

"It's probably best you weren't; I wouldn't have really accepted help from anyone. And I wouldn't have coped well with being loved either."

"You wouldn't have had much of a choice to be honest." Arizona kept her girlfriend's strong hands in hers.

"You're so beautiful Arizona." The surgeon could no longer keep eye contact as the intensity of Callie's gaze was almost unnerving. "No you really are. Your hairs like gold and your eyes shine like sapphires, especially when you smile. God I love your smile. And your skin is flawless. I love how it looks so pale against mine. Apart from when you're embarrassed like now and you blush or when we're in bed and it's rosy from how hot you get."

Arizona laughed and looked back up at Callie who was now smiling too.

"You know what I love the most though? Your heart." The Latina placed one of her hands on her lover's chest. "You are so amazing. You were my worst nightmare Arizona Robbins. Before you I surrounded myself with people who wanted things from me. It was easier. It was predictable. They either wanted me to screw them or lend them money. Then there was you. You didn't want anything except for the one thing I was terrified to give to anybody. In the end though it was out of my control; I couldn't stop myself. I love you. My worst nightmare came true and it was wonderful.

You don't have to stay here tonight if you don't feel comfortable. Or you know there's the spare room."

"I don't want to leave tonight."

"Maybe we should take a break."

"How can you say that after everything you just said?"

"I'm your worst nightmare now!"

"No Calliope; you're not. Last night wasn't you. This is you. Those words in that book scare the crap out of me but these words now... When you talk, you say things I'd never expect or things that make me laugh uncontrollably. One sentence from you and it changes the way I see the whole world. One word from you and I know... I know totally that you love me." She clasped at the hand that was still on her heart with her own.

"Arizona..."

"Yeah, that. The way you say my name Calliope, I know it's you."

"I don't want you to be scared; it kills me to think that you're scared of me."

"I'm not. Let's go back to bed yeah?"

"Are you sure?"

"On one condition."

"Anything."

"Hold me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

Arizona slept the rest of the night peacefully in her partner's arms. They were back, almost at least. Within a couple of days she was back at work but insisted on phoning to check on Callie every few hours. Soon enough it was a week later.

The surgeon walked into the apartment to find Jonathon on the sofa with the Latina; both of them were talking about something on the screen of the laptop in front of them.

"Hey darling."

"Hey baby, what are you doing?"

"Just going over the accounts."

"What? Calliope you're not supposed to be working."

"Arizona it's my business; I'm just checking that everything is okay."

"Thanks for the confidence." Jonathon chimed in. Callie gave him the "don't get involved" look. "You know' I think I'll leave you to it." Both of them stood up and went to the door as the blonde went towards the kitchen.

"Are you cooking dinner?"

"Yes." The brunette answered.

"What if you'd hurt yourself?"

It was now that a new voice entered the room. "Don't worry Arizona; I was supervising the whole time."

The surgeon's head snapped round at the familiar sound. Stood at the door to the guest room was Barbara Robbins.

"Mom?" Arizona turned back to her girlfriend with her hands on her hips. "What the hell is going on?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX

**Okay see that was not a horrible way to end the chapter... this time.**

**Hope you enjoyed it, I actually got my old journal out for the passages. It was weird to read back through them.**

**Just one or two more chapters till the taster fits in and then... LONDON BABY!**


	25. Chapter 25

"Mom?" Arizona turned back to her girlfriend with her hands on her hips. "What the hell is going on?"

"Good luck." Jonathon whispered to his friend before slipping out of the door.

"Callie called us." The older woman explained.

"You called my parents?" Arizona seemed insulted.

The Latina made her way towards the kitchen to turn off the oven.

"You called mine."

"You were comatose!"

"Well you will be if you don't take a break. You've been so great at looking after me but somebody needs to look after you and it can't be me right now so..." She knew the blonde would react poorly.

Arizona turned to her Mom. "This is unnecessary."

"Well I'll be the judge of that. Now are you gonna give your mother a kiss or not?"

The blonde embraced Barbara and Callie spoke again.

"Dinner's ready if you want to..."

"I'm gonna get a shower. You eat." She walked straight passed her partner and into the bedroom.

"Sorry about that." Callie said as she sat down with the food.

"Don't be ridiculous, she's my daughter. Maybe we should have warned her."

"No she would have refused and this way we can both deal with her crankiness."

"Arizona was never any good at accepting help. She'll be back out in a minute. Don't worry; she just needs to get used to the idea."

Twenty minutes later and Callie and Barbara were chatting cheerfully.

"Your friend Jonathon has good taste in wine." The older woman pointed out as she polished off her glass. Callie had asked him to bring a couple of bottles along with the accounts.

"Especially compared to his taste in men." The brunette joked.

"I can see why she likes you. Our Arizona's always loved people that could make her laugh."

"I'll get you the bottle if you want a refill."

"Oh that would be lovely sweetheart."

Callie went into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle from the counter top just as Arizona came out of the bedroom, her head hung low.

"Hey darling, you ready for some food. I made your favourite." The Latina wasn't upset by her girlfriend's reaction to her Mom showing up out of the blue.

"She did," Mrs Robbins declared. "I'm not ashamed to admit that it's better than mine."

"That would be great thanks." The blonde's voice was still small.

"Okay can you pass that to your Mom; there is white in the fridge. I'll put you out a serving." As she spoke Callie handed over the bottle.

"Wait." The surgeon grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her in for a chaste kiss. "Thank you for this. I'm sorry for acting like a bit of a bitch; I know you're looking out for me." She kissed her again.

"What was that one for?"

"I hadn't even said hello to you today what with you still being asleep when I left."

"Well, good evening."

"Hey." Arizona returned before sitting down at the table.

The three women enjoyed the rest of their meal. Arizona quite literally jumped for joy when Callie produced a banoffee pie after they'd finished their lasagne. The Latina had known her girlfriend would be unimpressed by her calling Barbara and so cooked her favourite to help her relax.

Callie had excused herself and gone to bed not long after dinner, leaving the Robbins women alone.

"She really didn't need to call you Mom."

"You look like crap." Her mother spoke plainly.

"Thanks." The surgeon replied sarcastically.

"Well, it's not surprising; you've been through a lot."

"I kind of just watched it all happen to be honest."

"Callie told me about last week."

"What?" Arizona was shocked.

"Don't be angry with her; she knew I'd see the bruises and I also think that she wanted to take responsibility for it. I thought at first that I should get angry and have a go at her you know, put her in her place."

"You're doing a good impression of Dad right now." The blonde interjected.

"She was crying though, as she spoke, she was sobbing. I knew how sorry she is. The woman that was in front of me and ate dinner with me would never have done that to you." Barbara's voice was soft. She had developed a great affection for Callie but Arizona was her daughter and she had to make sure she was okay.

"I know that. It was the fall. She hit her head and that exaggerated all of her problems. She's recovering now and she is a lot better. I mean she is still struggling; her memory isn't as good as it was and that gets her frustrated but only with herself. The pain is better. That's why she snapped at me. You can't imagine the pain."

"You never told us. Me and your father had no idea about her injury until you called us because she was unconscious."

"I was going to. I wanted you to meet her first. See her like any other girlfriend." Arizona defended. "It's not really for me to say anyway and I can't explain it like she can."

"Yes well she did talk to me about it today. I have to say, she doesn't hold back. It was very upsetting."

"Yeah, that's the fall too. Sometimes she struggles to filter what she's saying."

"I can't imagine what it's like being her parent. I'd be terrified."

"I think by now they're used to it."

Barbara thought for a minute. "Do you remember your birthday meal?" Her daughter nodded. "When you went to the bathroom?"

"Oh god! What did Dad say to Calliope? I knew something was going on."

"He said thank you." She responded.

"What?" That's not what Arizona was expecting.

"We felt like you were slipping away, sweetheart. Your father and I were so worried. Then you started acting like your old self again. This past few months, before Callie's accident, you were so happy. Almost as happy as when your brother was alive. Your Dad wanted to thank the person responsible."

"Oh, she never said anything." The surgeon was struggling to keep the smile at bay.

"I think she was embarrassed; you know how your father can be."

"Yeah. It's good to see you by the way."

"Oh well you could have fooled me."

"This last couple of weeks it's just been the two of us in a bubble; I've been scared of things upsetting the balance."

"That isn't very healthy dear."

"I know and Calliope knows. She's actually been pushing to go to the centre tomorrow with it being my day off."

"Sounds good to me." Her mother decided.

"Wait, you wanna come?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I? I'm interested in Callie's charity work. It's very impressive by the sounds of things. She's also itching to go to her night club."

"Um, yeah how much did you talk about?"

"Quite a lot. Stop wrapping her up in cotton wool Arizona. Let her recover." Barbara warned. "I know that you're scared but she'll go crazy if she's stuck in here any longer."

"Okay. Point made Mom." Arizona gave in. "I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight."

Both women stood and hugged each other tightly.

"Sweet dreams." Her Mom whispered like every night of her childhood.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arizona got ready for bed and slipped under the covers trying not to wake her girlfriend up. She failed.

"Hey darling." Callie turned onto her back and pulled the blonde on top of her. "Have a nice chat with your Mom?" She asked sleepily.

"Yeah; I'm sorry for waking you." She rested her head on the Latina's shoulder.

"It's okay."

"You told her."

Callie didn't need to ask what Arizona was talking about.

"I needed to make up for breaking my promise."

"What promise?"

"Well it wasn't really a... I just told your parents that I'd never hurt you. They meant like Jasmine did but hurt is hurt right? Sorry if I over stepped the line, telling her."

"It's okay. I think she admires you for telling her really. Do you think you'll be up to go to Adams's House tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I thought..."

"My mom is very persuasive." Arizona cut her off.

"Speaking of which, she persuaded me to call my parents."

"Really?" The blonde lifted her head and looked down at Callie.

"Yeah, I sorted out dates for London and we talked about stuff. I could tell they wanted to get on a plane as soon as they hung up the phone."

"I don't think we've got much room for any more relatives."

"No, you're not mad that I called Barbara are you?"

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Arizona joked.

"Just a subtle hint." Callie played back.

"I was but you were right. I need a little support. Not that you're some great burden or anything I just, it's not been easy. I mean...why aren't you kissing me?"

"What?" The Latina laughed.

"I was rambling; you kiss me when I ramble." The surgeon pointed out.

"So you just ramble so I'll stop you?"

"Maybe."

"I just wanted to see what happens if I leave you to it."

Arizona lowered her head so that their lips were hardly apart. "I'll have to kiss you instead." And she did. They kissed slowly but nothing to R rated. "Goodnight Calliope."

"Goodnight darling."


	26. Chapter 26

The following day the three women went to the centre. The kids were excited to see Callie again but were disappointed when she explained that the summer retreat would be cancelled this year due to her fall. After apologising she gave Barbara the guided tour. Arizona spent the day just like she always did at Adams's House: playing video games with the boys. All in all they had a good day and it was over far too soon.

The day after Arizona was back at the hospital, sitting in the cafeteria. Teddy suddenly sat down opposite.

"Hey." She greeted the cardio surgeon cheerfully.

"Hey Arizona, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm good." Teddy didn't seem convinced. "What?"

"Your arms."

The marks were hardly visible anymore but they had not gone unnoticed by her friend.

"I'm fine."

"Did Callie hurt you?" Her question was direct and concerned.

"No."

"Arizona..."

"It's private Teddy," She interrupted. "It's my relationship."

"So it was her!" The other woman said a bit too loudly.

"I'm not gonna talk about it with you."

"Fine but what about your apartment?"

"What?"

"You've practically shacked up haven't you?"

"Only for her recovery."

"Just be careful not to move too quickly."

"Since when do you lecture me about relationships?"

"Since your last one ended with you getting hurt."

"Teddy, I get that you're concerned but me and Calliope are really good. She is getting better every day. Yes, there was an incident but it's resolved."

"Okay. Are you sure you have the right support around you? I've hardly heard from you in weeks."

"Yeah, actually Calliope called my Mom out here."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I was pissed to start with but it's going okay. She knew I needed some help. She is still looking after me even when she can't."

"Good."

"Hey have you asked her yet?" They were interrupted by Mark.

"Will you all get out of my relationship!"

"What?" He defended. "I was on about the club."

"Yeah we were all supposed to go the night it opened." Teddy explained.

"But seeing as your girl was in the hospital it didn't seem right."

"Oh." Arizona suddenly felt embarrassed for snapping at Mark. "Well I guess we could go tonight."

"Great!" Sloan clapped his hands and stood up. "See you there."

"Yeah, I will meet you about nine?"

"Okay" The peds surgeon agreed with Teddy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Mom." She greeted that evening. "Where's Calliope?" She asked when she clearly wasn't in the main living area.

"She went for a lie down a while ago." Barbara informed her daughter from the sofa. Arizona went into the bedroom and sure enough her girlfriend was on the bed. She sat next to the Latina and stroked her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Hey baby."

"Hey good day at work?"

"It was alright. Mark and Teddy wanted us to go to The Avenue tonight if you're up for it."

"Really?" Callie perked up instantly.

"Yeah as long as you're not too tired."

"No I'm good."

"Awsome." Arizona turned to shout into the living room. "Mom, we're going out to the club tonight!"

Barbara appeared at the door. "Oh that sounds lovely; I'll go and find an outfit."

"Wait, what?" That was not what the blonde meant by "we".

"I wanna come with you." Her mother said as if it was obvious.

"No you can't come clubbing."

"Sure she can." Callie insisted. "Feel free Barbara."

"No you don't know what she's like without Dad."

"Oh, I'm not gonna get in trouble with the Colonel am I?" The Latina worried allowed.

"Oh no dear. Don't worry about him. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"This is going to end badly." The surgeon warned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arizona walked into her girlfriend's office to find her sat at the desk.

"Hey, Jonathon hasn't run the business into the ground already has he?" She asked as she went to stand on the opposite side to Callie.

"No, he's actually a lot better than I give him credit for. You aren't checking up on me are you?"

"No. My Mom is dancing." The blonde closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Well it can't be that bad darling." Callie stood up and rounded the desk.

"She's dancing with Mark." Arizona scrunched her face up even more and felt strong arms wrap around her waist. "Make the image go away." She pleaded.

"Okay honey; I bought a new outfit for London." The Latina spoke against her partner's neck before she started kissing the skin.

"Yeah? A new dress?" She knew Callie meant something else but couldn't resist teasing.

"A little more minimal." The brunette replied in between kisses.

Arizona tried to focus on her breathing. Her girlfriend hadn't behaved like this since she had fallen and it was making the surgeon dizzy. "You need to stop that." She warned.

"Would you rather think about your mother bumping and grinding with the man whore?" Callie joked.

"No! Tell me about the outfit." She demanded.

"I thought you might prefer that." The Latina moved across to the other side of her neck. "Black. Lace. Panties."

"Is that all?"

"And a little surprise for you."

Arizona pulled out of her arms.

"Come and dance with me."

"I thought that I was supposed to be resting?" Callie queried.

"You are but in here you're working. Just a few songs." She popped the dimples to help persuade her partner. In truth she was trying to avoid getting the Brunette fired up for something neither of them could handle yet.

"Okay, let's go." She saw through the blonde's smile.

The pair made their way out onto the dance floor and began moving to the music. It started off innocent at first but then tanned hands began sliding over the surgeon's body.

"I'm gonna go check on my Mom." Arizona announced rather suddenly.

"Okay," Callie replied sensing her discomfort. "I'll go get you a drink." Getting a nod in response she continued. "I'll meet you by the bar." She then watched Arizona disappear into the crowd.

On her way to get a glass of wine, Callie was stopped by a woman's voice.

"I knew there was something going on between you and Doctor Robbins."

She turned to see the nurse she'd spent the night with months ago, before Arizona.

"Hey..."

"Jane." She supplied.

"Sorry."

"It's okay I heard about your bang to the head and everything."

"Oh." The brunette felt awkward. She was used to running into past lovers but not whilst out with her girlfriend.

"So you and Robbins?"

"Yeah, we've been together about four months now." Callie answered with a smile. "What about you? Are you here with someone?"

"Yeah my girlfriend actually. We've been on and off for about nine months. We were off when you and I... you know. Obviously."

"Hey, that's none of my business." Both women seemed content to wrap up this conversation and move on but somebody else joined in.

"You trying to steal another of my girlfriends.?" Jasmine was now stood next to the nurse.

"No... wait." Callie realised what this meant. "You... this is who you cheated on Arizona with?" She could feel her blood pressure rise.

"Callie..." Jane wanted to diffuse the situation.

"I thought you worked at Seattle Press?" She was sure that was one of the details in Arizona's voicemail.

"I transferred." The nurse was looking for the exit. "Jas and I had a fight and..."

"So you transferred to my hospital so I'd have to see you every day." None of them had noticed the peds surgeon get closer.

"Doctor Robbins, I didn't want you to find out like this."

Arizona was struggling to process this information. She'd seen this nurse at the hospital so often and now she knew she was the woman, the other woman. And stood next to her was Jasmine. The blonde turned to Callie.

"Can you go please Calliope? Into the office. I'll handle this."

"Are you sure darling?" More than anything she wanted to stay.

"Yeah, I'll come find you." Arizona knew that her girlfriend could see the unshed tears in her eyes.

"Sure thing." The Latina gave her a quick kiss and did as she was asked.

"You'd never tell me what to do like that." Jasmine laughed.

The blonde took a deep breath and turned back around to face her past.

"Get out of my girlfriend's club." She spoke clearly and as without emotion as possible.

"This is her business?" Her ex asked.

"Yeah, now leave and take your skanky nurse friend with you."

"Hey, don't call her that. Your Calliope slept with her too." The smirk on Jasmine's face was indescribable.

"What?" She sought out confirmation from the nurse.

"It was a while ago." She explained.

"You can't be that surprised." Jasmine spat. "From what I here she is a right slut!"

Bang!

Before Arizona knew it her right fist had connected with her ex's face. The neuro surgeon had got up to return a blow but security guards held her back.

"Get her out of here." Jonathon ordered. "Are you okay?" He asked Arizona.

"Arizona what was that about?" Teddy had also appeared.

"Nothing. I'm fine." She lied as she clutched her hand.

"Hey, Robbins I think your Mom has had enough." Mark said as he held her up.

"Can you take her home please?" She handed Teddy her keys.

"Home? As in your home?"

"My girlfriend's apartment Teddy, can we not have this argument right now?"

"Sorry." The cardio God offered.

"I'll be back soon, just make sure she is okay please."

"Will do." Mark promised.

"You know Arizona," Barbara pointed her finger and managed to hold it still even if the rest of her body was swaying. "I never liked that Jasmine."

"I know Mom. The guys are gonna take you home okay?"

After they left Jonathon ushered her into the office where Callie was sat on the sofa.

"What happened?" She asked when she noticed the ice held to Arizona's knuckles.

"She punched the bitch."

"Can you not Jonathon?" As accurate as his summation was the blonde wasn't in the mood.

"You should probably leave." Callie suggested. She locked the door behind him to give them some privacy and went to sit down next to her partner who was now on the sofa too.

"Are you okay sweetheart?"

"I'm fine."

"Liar. She must have said something really horrible to get that kind of reaction." The Latina moved her head in an attempt to get eye contact. Arizona kept refusing.

"She called you a slut."

"Well she's kind of right."

The blonde grabbed for her hand with her right hand because that's what side Callie was on but immediately felt a sting in her knuckles and placed the ice back on them.

"No, you're not Calliope. You have morals and you also had reasons for behaving like that." She was still staring forwards.

"Tell me what you're thinking." For once Callie was at a loss.

"It's just a lot to come face to face with my ex girlfriend and that nurse."

"Jane."

"Of course you remember her name. One night and you know it but months with me and..."

"Hey!" It was loud enough to make the surgeon shift her head and look at Callie. "I didn't remember her name; she had to remind me." Her tone was vicious.

"I'm sorry." Arizona whispered.

"Ask me what she looked like naked."

"What?" That seemed ridiculous.

"Just do it."

"What did she look like naked?" The words made her skin crawl as she spoke them.

"I don't know. It wasn't important. Ask me what you look like naked."

"Calliope." She wasn't in the mood for this game.

"Ask me." The brunette demanded.

"What do I look like naked?"

She softened her tone. "Beautiful. You've got a tiny birthmark here." Callie placed her fingers on the lower left hand side of her stomach. "It's really faint but I know it's there. It's almost in the shape of a butterfly. Your chest..." She moved her hand to place it flat against Arizona's cleavage. "It's so responsive. Goose pimples appear instantly where my hand rests." Slowly, the same hand made its way to her left breast. "Your nipples start off soft under my palm but they don't stay that way when they're in between my fingers." Callie was now whispering straight into her ear. She was pleading with Arizona to understand. Her hand moved from the blonde's chest and guided her face to re- establish eye contact.

"I know you. I know your body. I've tried telling you how much you mean emotionally but if you wanna make this about the physical, I can do that. Arizona you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I don't see anybody else anymore. I don't think about having sex with anybody but you. It's you. It's me and it's old wrinkly sex forever."


	27. Chapter 27 (Not really)

Hey, this is not an update. I apologise. Sorry.

This is a warning that the next chapter probably won't be up for a while. (I don't know how long.)

I am sorry.

I'm struggling with my brain injury at the moment and can feel myself slipping into a depression. Might be in a funk for a while and I'm struggling to function like normal right now. Also what ever energy I do have is going towards my exams and stuff.

I don't want anyone to think I have abandoned this story but I can't update for a while.

Sorry again.


	28. Chapter 28

"Come on." Callie stood up and walked over to the jukebox in the corner of her office and pressed some buttons before moving back to the centre of the room. Arizona hadn't moved or spoken. "Come on baby." She repeated.

"What?" The blonde asked as she got up and joined her girlfriend.

"I wanna dance." As she spoke she placed her hands on Arizona's hips and the other woman put her arms around her tanned neck. It was now that the surgeon listened to the music that was playing.

"Ha, you try to act like such a hard ass but really you're just an old romantic softy."

"Only for you."

"Didn't have you down as a Bee Gees fan." The pair swayed in time to the rhythm.

"And I will give you all my life, I'm here if you  
Should call to me.  
You think that I don't even mean,  
A single word I say.  
It's only words, and words are all I have, to take  
Your heart away" Callie sang the words into the minute distance between them as they rested their foreheads together. Arizona understood why she chose those words to sing.

"I do believe you." She promised. "I believe everything you tell me." The words were whispered as the song faded and although the room was filled with silence now, neither woman broke out of their hold.

"Clouds are made of cotton wool." The Latina joked to lighten the mood.

"Okay, I believe most things you tell me." She smiled back. "Hang on, how is it that I don't know your favourite song yet?"

"Oh well that's easy." The brunette said as she pulled away and went back to the jukebox. Soon another tune was playing and she danced her way back over to her partner. As Ben E. King began to sing the opening lines, she of course joined in.

"When the night has come  
And the land is dark  
And the moon is the only light we'll see  
No I won't be afraid  
Oh, I won't be afraid  
Just as long as you stand, stand by me"

Arizona wrapped her arms around her miracle again and matched the movement of her hips. Things between them hadn't felt this free in weeks. She felt like they were getting back on track but Callie knew she was still hesitant in some areas of their relationship. In this moment though, the Latina let that go and just sang.

"So darling, darling  
Stand by me, oh stand by me  
Oh stand, stand by me  
Stand by me

If the sky that we look upon  
Should tumble and fall  
All the mountains should crumble to the sea  
I won't cry, I won't cry  
No, I won't shed a tear  
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darling, darling  
Stand by me, oh stand by me  
Oh stand now, stand by me  
Stand by me

So darling, darling  
Stand by me, oh stand by me  
Oh stand now, stand by me, stand by me  
Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me  
Oh stand by me, oh won't you stand now, stand  
Stand by me"

When the song finished both of them were smiling. They left the club in high spirits and went back to Callie's apartment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX

Arizona was surprised to find her girlfriend was still awake when she got out of the shower.

"Thought you were going to sleep?"

"Not without you." Callie rolled on her side and propped her head on her hand.

"We agreed that rule was only for when one of us was upset."

The Latina raised her eyebrows in a way which let Arizona know she wasn't going to avoid this conversation.

"Fine, I'm upset." She conceded as she got into bed.

"You can be upset Arizona you ran into your ex and the woman she had an affair with."

"That's not what's wrong. I can't help but think about..."

She didn't need to finish her sentence for Callie to know what she meant. The brunette sighed as she rolled on her back.

"Don't even say it." The blonde started. "I know it's stupid. I know you love me and it was before we were together and you'd never go back to her. I just... she's seen you, she's touched you and she made you feel things. I can't help but feel a little jealous. And before you say anything I know it's a total double standard because I was with Jasmine. I just can't help it."

Callie remained staring at the ceiling for a few minutes and Arizona began to worry. This felt worryingly familiar.

"Please Calliope don't shut me out again."

After another long sigh her partner spoke. "She was a distraction."

"What?"

"We met the day Jonathon fell down the fire escape; the day me and you had coffee. I was annoyed because I really wanted to be with you and that put my head in a spin, especially when I found out the person you were with had done what she had. I found a distraction."

"Jasmine found her a distraction too." The surgeon's voice was so small.

"You're real Arizona."

"I know."

"All of those things you're jealous of with Jane, I'm jealous of you with Jasmine."

"I know."

"Why does this have to be so complicated?"

Arizona rolled closer and curled into her partner's body. "So we appreciate it more."

"Teddy doesn't like me." Callie stated.

"What? Don't be ridiculous."

"Darling she was giving me looks all night."

"Jonathon doesn't like me."

"Yes he does. Especially after your little punch up."

"Teddy's ..." Arizona tried to finish her sentence but came up short.

"See I knew it."

"No, she's just worried about me."

"Does she know about the other night?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Well she knows something happened but no details. That's between me and you. Teddy's just concerned because she has hardly seen me the last month."

"Sorry about that."

"Don't be. Now go to sleep."

"Wait, I need to ask you something."

"Okay."

"Move in with me?"

"Um, what?" Arizona's head sprung up from the Latina's shoulder so she could look her in the eye.

"I know it's soon but you've been living here for the last month and although it's not been easy all the time, I've loved having you here. The idea of you moving out sucks. This place feels like ours. This is our bed. This is our room. Through there is our closet and then our bathroom. I don't want you to leave."

Callie watched her girlfriend's face in trepidation until a smile formed. "Okay."

"Really?" She couldn't quite believe it.

"Yeah, I mean I practically do already live here and it makes no sense to move all my stuff out."

Arizona kissed her. When she tried to pull away Callie held her close.

"One more thing."

"Baby, you need to sleep."

"Kiss me."

"I just did."

The brunette shook her head. "No, kiss me the way you used to. Kiss me like we're lovers."

"Calliope, we're not ready to do anything..."

"Maybe, but I wanna get back to the place we were before I fell."

"I do too."

"Okay, so let's take baby steps. I just want to kiss."

Arizona closed her eyes and nodded before leaning back down. Her mouth met Callie's in a way which she had almost forgotten. It felt amazing. The Latina knew her girlfriend's reservations were because she was just concerned for her well being but Callie couldn't help but feel there was something else. Perhaps Arizona could no longer see her the way she had. Since her fall, the blonde had gone from girlfriend to carer and maybe she couldn't go back.

The two woman broke apart and lay their heads on the pillow.

"I love you Arizona."

"I love you too."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX

A couple of days after that Barbara Robbins went home. She knew that her daughter was okay and really just needed some time with her girlfriend now that she was getting back to her normal self.

Arizona had started to pack up her old apartment and agreed to let Callie work from home on the condition that she didn't try to do anything else around the apartment, including cook. That lasted for all of three days.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX

Arizona walked into the apartment and slammed the door behind her causing her girlfriend to look up from the kitchen counter.

"What are you doing?"

"Building a bomb, what does it look like? I'm making your dinner honey."

"You're supposed to be resting."

"I got bored."

"How long have you been in here?"

Arizona surveyed the kitchen from where she was still standing by the door, knowing full well that if she got too close to the beautiful Latina she would lose her resolve. The blonde was trying to maintain her senses but the food did smell amazing.

"You haven't answered me."

"I'm aware." That meant too long to Arizona. "Why don't you come over here and taste what I have made for you before you get too pissed?"

Moving from the door to the kitchen she immediately smelt Callie's perfume and went a bit dizzy.

"Is that your plan, feed me an amazing dinner so that I forgive you for not looking after yourself?"

Callie just smiled widely and offered a spoonful of the salad dressing she was currently working on. Her girlfriend happily took it and hummed in satisfaction.

"That was plan A."

"What was plan B?" The blonde asked staring into Callie's eyes. The swelling had gone down on the side of her face and she looked absolutely stunning.

"Sex."

"What if I wasn't in the mood?" Callie accepted the challenge.

"Then I would kiss you in that spot that makes you unable to say no." The Latina answered matter of factly.

"I don't have a spot like that!" Arizona was sure she could hold her nerve but her girlfriend again took up the challenge. Slowly, she dipped her head down and placed light kisses up from the base of her pale neck. When she reached just below her earlobe, the Latina pulled away.

"See I told you." Arizona was proud of her efforts to stay fully clothed even if the attention her girlfriend was giving her was incredible. However Callie just laughed with a glint in her eye.

"I wasn't finished." To prove her point she tilted her head and lurched forward, planting her mouth on the other side of Arizona's neck and she smiled when she was granted more access. The blonde threw her head back without thought and immediately regretted it. She felt soft lips place one delicate kiss just below her jaw and she lost all control. The Latina repeated her simple action until she felt her girlfriend go limp in her arms which were wrapped around her waist. Callie drew back and stared into dazzling blue eyes which had turned a few shades darker.

"Told you." Callie whispered before taking pink lips in hers, Arizona quickly responded and they continued kissing until they needed air.

"You... You think you are ... so good?"

"Tell me to stop." Callie didn't let up and snaked one hand down to undo Arizona's belt buckle.

The blonde was powerless though and heard the sound of metal clashing as her belt was opened. Brown eyes just stared into blue. Arizona felt skilled fingers pop the button to her jeans and she held her breath as the zipper was slowly pulled down.

Suddenly though both hands were in her hair and the Latina's body pushed her so she was trapped between the kitchen counter and her lover.

"Breathe sweetheart." Callie ran her thumbs across cheek bones and again began kissing and sucking on her neck. Her arms found purchase on the counter either side of Arizona.

"I hate how well you know my body."

"Really? I don't believe that. You honestly hate how I know the exact place to kiss in order to turn you on. Or that you prefer attention on your right breast to the left because it is more sensitive." The raven haired women lightly trailed her fingertips across Arizona's chest.

"And don't you like that I know you make different sounds or moans or whimpers depending on if I'm sucking..." She sucked on the flesh of the blonde's neck. "... or I'm biting..." She nipped at the same spot before licking to sooth the area, "... or licking the various parts of your body. You can't hate me for that."

"No but I do right now."

"Then tell me to stop." She repeated her earlier statement but again kissed Arizona passionately on the lips. Before the blonde really knew what was happening, she was moving towards the bedroom.

"What about dinner?"

"It can wait" Another kiss followed and she felt her legs hit the bed but her girlfriend held her up.

"We shouldn't Calliope, your head. You are supposed to be resting."

"You are the one that's going to get all hot and bothered so you should probably take theses off." With that she reached for Arizona's shirt and pulled it over her head and pushed her down onto the bed.

"We shouldn't."

"Don't tell me that I shouldn't. Tell me that I can't." The Latina was now lying on top of her searching the blonde's face.

"I don't want you to regret it."

"We've done it a thousand times."

"But not since... you hit your head and this could be impulsive and if you aren't really you then I don't want you to. I'm not saying you can't I just... What if... You are meant to be resting and what if you get tired? And hurt yourself again? What if it was my fault before?" Tears began to stream down her face as Callie rolled of her. She was lying without her shirt, her jeans unzipped and unbuttoned, in the middle of her bed. Turning her head she saw Callie sat with her back to Arizona on the edge of the bed.

"Calliope?"

She watched tanned shoulders slump and heard her take a deep breath as she stood and walked around to the end of the bed. Callie stood in the doorway and faced Arizona who was now propped on her elbows.

"You might hate me for being good in bed but I actually I hate you for not listening to me."

"Calliope!"

"I told you this would happen so why didn't you listen? Why didn't you run? Being my girlfriend sucks so why didn't you run?"

"Because being your girlfriend is the best thing that has happened to me." Arizona stated honestly.

"I should finish dinner." Before Callie could turn and leave Arizona shouted...

"You can't." She knew that Callie was going to shut down emotionally and if she did Arizona wasn't sure she could go back to that. "You told me to say that you can't, well you can't leave."

"That's not what I meant."

"What's my name?"

"Shut up! That's not fair, you can't do that."

"Why not, can't you remember?"

"Dr. Arizona Robbins!" Callie screamed. "Happy now? Convinced that my head isn't gonna explode or I'm not gonna jump of the balcony? Welcome to my life honey, this is an okay day. So I'm not the woman who asked to buy you a drink after singing and dancing her way up to you today but I'm not the woman who forgot your name either. I'm the woman who loves you and just wanted to cook you dinner and take you to bed and show you how grateful I am. But it's happened, like I said it would. I got intimate and fell in love. I tried to have an actual relationship and now you don't want me because of my injury. Now I kind of hate you a bit. And that makes me hate myself."

Callie just left the room and went back to cooking the dinner. Ten minutes later, Arizona emerged from their bedroom fully dressed. She watched as her girlfriend placed a plate of food on the table before walking back towards their room.

"Enjoy your meal." Callie said flatly as she walked past but Arizona grabbed her hand.

"You should eat something."

"Not in the mood." And with that she was gone. The blonde shuddered as their door slammed shut. Looking at the table she could see the effort Callie had gone to. There was a new tablecloth, candles and enough food to last a week. Closing her eyes she remembered what Callie had said to her four months ago.

"Being my girlfriend is a lot to handle. You are great and you make me happy but my injury always screws things up. It tries to take all the good things I have. If you can't handle it, I need you to leave now because I'm falling for you and it will hurt too much months down the line."

Arizona took a deep breath and whispered to herself "I won't let it win."

She heard the shower start in their en-suite and walked over to the food. After covering it all up and tidying up the kitchen she went through the bedroom and closet to the bathroom door. Arizona was relieved when the door was unlocked and she was able to enter the room. Callie was unaware of her presence until she heard the door open and close behind her and felt soft hands on her shoulders. The Latina refused to turn around just yet. Arizona placed gentle kisses on her back and neck whilst kneading the tense flesh.

Slowly she turned and put her hands on the glass either side of the blondes' head.

"What are you doing?" Arizona kissed her way up to her ear and whispered:

"I don't want you to hate me." Callie pulled her arms back.

"That's not a good enough reason Arizona." She stepped back under the spray but her girlfriend moved forward, forcing her back against the blue tiled wall.

"I love you, is that good enough?"

"I'm not gonna have sex with you when you don't want me to."

Arizona buried her head in her shoulder and Callie instinctively put her hands on her waist for support.

"I do... I do want you. I was just scared that you... but I trust you. I trust you and if you say you're ready then I trust you and if it makes you better then..." The blonde pulled back to gaze into her lover's eyes, "I'm yours." Panic set in when she saw Callie reach behind and turn of the spray. Her tanned hands were back on Arizona's shoulders in seconds though as she led her out of the shower. After drying herself of she wrapped the towel around her girlfriend who melted into her embrace.

Callie hadn't uttered a word yet. She took Arizona's hand and soon she was lying the blonde back down on their bed. The Latina let her body mould to hers as she slipped a leg between pale thighs.

"I love you Arizona and that doesn't change. I know I do and I know that's hard but I always feel the same about you. Maybe it feels weird to you, being with me like this when I'm different, like you aren't really with me but you are. Every single part of me loves you but I get it, okay?"

Arizona just nodded silently, her stare never leaving Callie's. A kiss was placed on her lips. It started of soft but deepened. Hands clung to dark hair as others trailed down Arizona's arms. Hips began to roll and bodies rubbed over each other. Moisture began to pool in between them. Callie moved down slightly and took the blonde's right nipple in her mouth as her fingers trailed down her left breast. Her palm was squeezing the underside whilst fore and middle rolled the nipple between them. Callie switched sides, mouth on left breast nipping and sucking and hand on Arizona's right. The Latina's stomach was pressed against her partners core and she could feel how wet she was. She lifted her head to see Arizona squeezing her eyes shut, chewing in her lip.

Callie moved back up so her face was inches above Arizona's.

"Open your eyes." The blonde did as she was told until they involuntarily closed again when tanned fingers began playing with her folds.

"Darling, look at me." Again the blonde opened her eyes. She got lost in brown orbs and felt safe there. She cried out in pleasure when Callie entered her swiftly with two fingers. They hadn't done this for a month and it wasn't going to take much. Arizona's hips met each thrust of her girlfriend's hand. They never broke eye contact until Arizona crashed over the edge. Callie though hadn't finished and before she got a chance to come down, the blonde felt her clit get sucked into Callie's warm mouth, her fingers still pumping in and out, curling every so often. Arizona's second orgasm exploded through her in a matter of minutes. This time Callie pulled out when she had come down and gently lay back down with her head on her loves chest.


	29. Chapter 29

"Calliope this is insane." She whispered into her girlfriend's ear.

"You don't have to whisper; there's nobody around to hear." Callie chuckled in response.

"I know that's why it's insane." Arizona fidgeted in her seat and looked around the almost empty cabin. "You have a private plane!" She exclaimed with the same amount of shock in her voice as when they arrived at the airfield.

"No it's my Dad's." The brunette corrected.

"How much money do you actually have to have a private plane?" The blonde looked at her partner for the first time since they boarded; she'd previously been too busy taking in her surroundings.

"Again, it's my Dad's plane."

"Okay so how much money does your Dad have?"

"Why? Didn't have you down as a gold digger." Callie played before kissing Arizona's still bemused lips.

"I've never thought about it before but now I have the opportunity..." Another kiss cut off her sentence.

"You can be anything you want as long as you're mine." The surgeon smiled back completely speechless. "You know I don't usually travel like this. I just wanted this trip to be special."

"Well you've succeeded."

"It's to thank you." When her girlfriend shook her head in protest, Callie continued. "You don't get a choice. When I first planned this it was just because I love you but with all that's happened..." She trailed off, lost in her thoughts until a soft hand took her's.

"Calliope, don't."

"No. I was gonna say that I think we just need something to take us back to the start. I mean it's a part of us, what happened, it always will be but we can still get back to where we were. And I'm grateful to you because without you that wouldn't be so. What's wrong?" The Latina asked in concern. She'd hardly noticed the movement of the plane and it's increased speed but Arizona had and she was looking decidedly worried.

"We're moving." As the aircraft hit a slight bump in the railway she squeezed Callie's hand harder.

"Oh come here baby." The brunette wrapped her arm around her partner as best she could and encouraged her to bury her head in the safety of her shoulder. The plane gradually began to lift into the air. "It's fine if you are but are you gonna be like this the whole flight?" When she got no response Callie tried something else. "Darling," She whispered. "I know I'm not a surgeon but I still need my hand, especially for some of the things I've got planned for this week, so returning the circulation soon would be good."

Her hand was immediately loosened and she felt a giggle against her arm. When she looked down Callie saw nothing but happiness reflected from the bright blue ones staring back.

"I think I'll be okay; it's just taking off and landing."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once they had got to the apartment Arizona insisted that Callie rest so they were both now lying on the bed. The blonde was pretending to read as she thought her girlfriend was asleep.

"How would you like it if you found out that I watch you sleep?" The Latina spoke groggily as she looked up at the other woman.

"Do you?" Arizona asked as she put her book down and lay her body next to Callie's.

"I love you." She stroked the blonde's face with the back of her knuckles.

"That doesn't answer the question."

Callie just shrugged and the surgeon spoke again.

"This doesn't seem like your Dad's kind of place."

The apartment was a modern loft conversion which was totally open plan apart from the bathroom. The walls were bare brick and decorated with posters.

"It's not." The brunette explained. "He has a town house he usually stays in but he's renting that out at the moment."

"I thought you said he owned the apartment though?"

"He does but he bought it for Aria mainly."

"Oh, how come I've never met her?"

"It's probably best that you don't."

"Why? Don't you get along?"

"We do but we're best together in short bursts."

"How come she didn't visit you when you were in the hospital?"

"She's a bit of a loose cannon. She likes to party and I never really could with my injury. Not like her anyway. Then she started to travel and we grew apart."

"That's strange... and sad."

"Well it would be to you."

"What does that mean?"

"Well you and Tim were really close so..." Arizona's face grew sad. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

The blonde grabbed Callie's hand. "No, don't be ridiculous. You can mention his name. And you're right. I meant what I said a while back you know, he really would have liked you."

"I'm glad." The Latina replied as she closed her heavy eyelids.

"Well my Dad likes you which is quite an achievement."

"Yeah, even after your Mother's antics at the club."

"I don't think he knows, which is good. I can't believe she got so drunk."

"I know."

"I mean a woman of her age, it was embarrassing!"

"Yeah I know I was there when you gave her the lecture the next morning. God help our kids."

Arizona was suddenly wide eyed at the mention of kids. Callie still had her eyes closed and couldn't see her girlfriend's expression. The surgeon let it go thinking that her partner had mentioned it only because she was tired.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Two nights later and Arizona was sat in the classiest restaurant she had ever been in.

"Have I mentioned how gorgeous you look in that dress?" She heard Callie almost drool.

"Only a few times." The blonde responded with a satisfied grin.

"Well you look... I actually don't have any more words."

"I bought it for the club opening but never got a chance to where it." The Latina was listening but couldn't seem to lift her gaze from Arizona's chest. "Are you even listening?"

"Club opening." She mumbled in response.

"Calliope?"

She finally raised her attention back up to her girlfriend's face.

"Have you seen the prices for the food here?"

"Don't worry about it."

"But with everything else, it's just too much."

"I said don't worry." Callie took her hand. "Just relax and enjoy yourself. Please."

"Okay, at least let me pay for the wine?"

"Fine, you'd make a terrible gold digger you know."

"Calliope?"

"Arizona?" She mimicked.

"Stop it. How come we had to do so much sightseeing in the last two days? I thought we had a whole week here." The brunette looked away. "What?"

"So I may have another surprise but it involves a plane journey and I forgot at the time about your phobia."

"Where?"

"No see that's the surprise but it's only an hour or so. We can get the train if you'd rather."

"No. As long as you're there I'll be okay. You really aren't gonna tell me?"

"No."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are you gonna come out of the bathroom anytime soon?" Arizona asked. They were back from dinner and Callie had excused herself to 'get ready' after telling her to wait at the end of the bed.

"Are you facing the wall?" The Latina didn't want her girlfriend to see her just yet.

"Yes." That was clearly enough for the other woman who suddenly came up behind her. The blonde tried to turn around but strong hands on her hips prevented her from doing so.

"Patience my dear." Callie whispered in her ear. Her hands swept up the satin of the dress and found the zip. As she pushed her girlfriend's shoulders forwards ever so slightly Arizona's ass rubbed against her crotch and she almost exploded. She pulled the zipper down and placed her warm hands on the pale back in front of her. The brunette's hands felt like fire across her skin as they pushed the dress over Arizona's shoulders.

In one swift motion the surgeon was stood in nothing but her matching red underwear. She turned to see Callie in those black lace panties she had promised and the 'surprise' of a deep purple corset. Arizona took a deep breath as her eyes raked up the perfect form in front of her. She felt herself get pushed gently so that she was sat on the bed.

The raven haired beauty began swaying her hips.

"Should I take the speechlessness as a good sign?"

"Uh huh." The blonde had to clear her throat and take another breath. "Definitely good... awesome in fact." She watched as her partner straddled her hips. Before registering what was happening she felt her lips come into contact with Callie's. When she realised she was being kissed she returned the gesture as fiercely as she could manage.

Her fingertips started to run over the intricate detailing of the garment. It was embroidered with roses and tied with a black ribbon at the front. The woman on top of her pulled away from the kiss.

"Do like your little surprise baby?"

"Oh. So. Very. Much." Arizona punctuated each word with a kiss down her olive neck.

The Latina removed her lover's bra. "Lie back and I'll give you another."

Arizona did as she was told and felt her hips lifted and panties removed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX x


	30. Chapter 30

Suddenly Callie was gone and her girlfriend sat up against the headboard to wait for her next surprise. When the brunette returned Arizona couldn't believe the sight in front of her. Callie had removed her panties and was now stood with her corset on as well as a purple strap on. Callie noticed the slight concern in her lover's face and moved back onto the bed.

"You don't like it?" The Latina questioned as she hovered over Arizona who shook her head furiously.

"You look... God I've never seen anything so hot."

The brunette started dragging her tongue up her neck but could still feel the tension in her partner. "What's wrong; I thought you said you'd used one before." Arizona looked away almost embarrassed. "Hey." Callie coaxed as she leant on her left arm and used her right to stroke up and down the blonde's arm. "It's me baby."

"I just..." When she stalled the Latina lifted her chin with one finger to re-establish eye contact. "I was normally the one to wear it and it's never felt... I just don't see..."

"You didn't like it." Callie filled in the blank.

"Sorry." She watched as her girlfriend lowered her head and kissed her again. Arizona relaxed into the kiss and felt a flush spread across her chest as Callie's hand started to play with her breasts. The brunette rolled her hips and Arizona felt the toy against her inner thigh reminding her it was there. The surgeon put her hands Callie's shoulders to slow things down. Her lover took the hint and pulled back but moved her hand down Arizona's body and felt the abundance of moisture between her legs causing the blonde to gasp.

"You know I'd never make you do anything you didn't want to Arizona."

"Maybe we could try it. I mean you're pretty awesome at everything else in bed so... Oh God!" She was distracted by Callie's fingers which started to gather some of the liquid sex and cover the toy with it. Once it was positioned at Arizona's centre the brunette started to kiss her slowly but deeply.

"Just tell me to stop if you want me to." She broke away briefly to say. With a small movement of her hips Callie pushed the toy in ever so slightly and let the other woman adjust. The brunette slowly built up a rhythm with her hips pushing more and more of the toy inside each time. "Arizona?" She asked to check how her partner was.

The blonde was lost to the sensations Callie was creating. "Harder Calliope... God!" She yelled when the woman above her obliged. When her climax came it was mind blowing. She dug her fingers into her lover's back almost too hard in order to stay grounded.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

It had been the perfect week away but it was almost over. The pair was lying in bed. They were no longer in the apartment in London but now in a rather expensive hotel in Callie's surprise second city. After a couple of days of sightseeing they had spent pretty much all of their last day in bed together before they had to go back to their normal lives.

Callie breathed in deeply and tried to savour what was left of their trip. As she did she inhaled the remnants of perfume that were still clinging to Arizona's neck.

"I still can't believe you didn't warn me." The blonde said as she rolled onto her side to face Callie.

"I thought you knew."

"Why would I know?"

"It's a famous tradition. Why'd you think everyone was crowding around the gun."

"I don't know; I've never been to Edinburgh before."

"You've liked it right?"

"Yeah it's been great. This hotel is awesome too."

"What can I say, I have awesome taste." The brunette ran her hand through her partner's hair and pulled her into a kiss. "I just want you to know how thankful I am."

"I'm the one who's grateful."

Callie shook her head. "I haven't done anything."

"You saved me. You saved me from being unhappy. You saved me from a doomed relationship. Thank you. Thank you for making me feel the way you do."

"Oh, and how's that?"

"Like I'm the most important person in the world. Nobody has ever done that before."

"That's because you are the most important person in the world to me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX

The warm water cascaded down Arizona's back. Ever since coming back from their trip away she had been working on one all consuming case at the hospital. She was so lost in the feel of the shower that she barely registered the door opening and closing again behind her. Two very familiar hands started to work out the tension in the blonde's shoulders before running down her back, around her hips and back up to firm, soapy breasts. The surgeon placed her own hands on the wall for support as her lover kissed her neck.

"Morning." Arizona managed to get out.

"Hey." Callie's fingers were now rolling her nipples between them. "I thought you weren't coming home last night."

"I was able to get away for a few hours sleep and a shower."

"Is that all you have time for?" The Latina lowered her right hand down to cup her centre.

"Depends... on how good you are."

Suddenly she was turned around and pressed against the wall, a hand still lightly caressing her sex.

"Oh baby you haven't realised how good I am yet?" The desire Arizona saw in her eyes made her heart skip.

"Guess you'll just have to prove it to me." She played.

"Oh, is that so?" Callie dropped to her knees and spread her girlfriend's legs further apart. The screams of ecstasy that followed shortly afterwards made it very clear how good she was.

A little while later and the surgeon emerged from the bedroom in her robe. She was a little taken back by the sight that greeted her.

"Who the hell are you and why are you in my kitchen?" She asked the woman sat at the breakfast counter. Arizona had never seen this woman before.

"Oh, Cal brought me home last night."


	31. Chapter 31

"Oh, Cal brought me home last night."

"What?" The surgeon stood staring at the beautiful woman. She had dark brown hair, almost black, with eyes just as soulful as her girlfriend's.

"Amber, you're supposed to still be passed out." Callie said as she entered the kitchen and started making breakfast.

"What can I say; I've developed a bit more stamina."

"Can somebody explain to me what's going on?" Arizona was still at a loss.

"Darling, this is Amber, one of my oldest friends. We were at school together."

"I didn't know we were having visitors."

"No, neither did I. Somebody showed up last night with no warning." Callie explained as she placed a glass of orange juice in front of her friend.

"You telling me you didn't have fun last night?" Amber asked after a large sip.

Arizona turned to her girlfriend. "Why didn't you tell me when she got here?"

"Well you weren't gonna be home and I was gonna tell you when I saw you."

"But you still didn't tell me." The surgeon was beginning to get annoyed. "What did you think you'd miss out on shower sex or something?"

"Ha, you still doing inappropriate things in showers Cal?"

"Shut up Amber."

"What does that mean?"

"Oh you haven't heard that story?" Amber asked. "That's a good story. How many members of the hockey team was it?"

"Seriously, shut the hell up." Callie knew Amber was just trying to wind her girlfriend up but Arizona actually did seem pissed off.

"I'm going to get dressed." With that the blonde went back into the bedroom.

"Well that was easier than expected."

"Amber will you stop it. She's having a tough time at work at the minute. This isn't just my apartment anymore. Its her's to."

"Okay. Hand me some toast then." She said with a smile as innocent as she could muster.

"No. This is for Arizona." Callie explained as she picked up a cup of coffee and a plate of toast.

When she got to the bedroom Arizona was in the closet.

"Honey, I made you some breakfast." She offered. The blonde appeared at the adjoining door in only her underwear. "But you are gonna have to come over here to get it."

"Thank you." Arizona said as she took a piece of toast and went back to find more clothes. Callie sat on the side of the bed and put the toast and coffee on the bedside table.

"Sorry I didn't warn you about her. We just got a bit carried away and just ignore pretty much everything she says."

"Why?" Arizona was now fully dressed and coming back for more toast.

"She's seen a lot of my unflattering sides."

"You know that doesn't bother me."

"She also lives to wind people up."

"Yeah I got that. Why is she here anyway?"

"She had an argument with her husband in Miami."

"So what time did you get home last night?"

"Um, about two." Callie knew she wasn't gonna like that and watched as her partner searched through her bag for something. She produced a small flashlight.

"How much did you have to drink?" Was the question Arizona asked next whilst shining the light in Callie's eyes.

"If this is your idea of role play then you suck at it."

"Answer the question."

"A few."

"Calliope..."

"No Arizona I'm thirty years old I was just having fun with an old friend."

"Well I'm sorry I care." The blonde remarked as she downed the rest of her coffee and went to leave.

"No wait." The Latina stood and pulled her girlfriend back into her arms. "I'm sorry darling. I love that you care but you don't need to worry."

Arizona turned to look Callie in the eye. "Can't help it."

"Are you gonna be home tonight. It's been ages since we spent the night together."

"It's been a week."

"Well it feels like forever."

"I know and I should be able to leave at a decent time. It depends how today goes."

"You'll be awesome. I love you."

"I love you too."

After a kiss goodbye she left the apartment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

By some miracle Arizona was able to get a break for lunch that day. She found Teddy and Mark in the cafeteria and went and sat with them.

"Hey stranger." Mark greeted her.

"I thought you got back a week ago?" Teddy said.

"Yeah we did. I've just had this case ever since I got back. Sorry I haven't really seen you guys. I haven't been able to give you your presents."

Arizona then produced a stuffed loch ness monster toy for Mark and a one for Teddy which was a man in a kilt playing the bagpipes.

"I got you that one Teddy because you're perpetually single; thought you could use him for company."

"Thanks ." She responded sarcastically. "I thought you went to London not Scotland."

"We ended up going to both. She surprised me. And then she surprised me this morning with a strange woman in our kitchen."

"What?" Both of her friends asked in shock.

"Don't worry she's an old friend of Calliope's; they went to school together. Apparently she turned up out of the blue last night and they stayed out till two this morning drinking."

"That doesn't sound good." Teddy said.

"She was probably just excited to see her friend." Mark reasoned.

"Yeah; I know. I think Amber makes her nervous."

"How'd you mean?"

"Well they were at school together and Calliope always says that was the hardest time with her injury and she really struggled. I don't think she dealt with it very well and now she's scared her friend is gonna reveal some dark secrets or something."

"Well if you haven't been scared off yet, what will make you run?"

"Nothing but Calliope's private when it comes to her injury."

"Okay two questions. One: Why did you go to Scotland and not buy me any whiskey?" Mark asked to lighten the mood.

"Because I don't like you that much and Calliope said if you want to drink whiskey you should buy it from her."

"Okay, and two: Is this Amber hot?"

"Yes but she is married."

"When you say Callie and her are friends..." Teddy raised her eyebrows to imply how her question ended.

"No, nothing like that. At least I don't think so. I'm fairly sure she's straight."

"So I still have a shot?"

"No Mark!"

"Fine." He conceded.


	32. Chapter 32

The first thing Arizona saw when she got home that night was Amber sat in the exact same place as when she had left that morning.

"Where's Calliope?"

"Wow." The other woman responded. "She must really love you. She went to go get some stuff for dinner. So are you coming out with us tonight?"

"Where?"

"I don't know some bars maybe some clubs."

"I've had a really long week."

"Cal said she'd come."

"Well she can do what she wants but that doesn't seem like a good idea. She was out late last night and with her injury..."

"What are you? Her Mom?" Amber interrupted.

"No; I'm her girlfriend. I'm the person who sat by her bed for four days after she fell down the stairs and watched her go through hell to recover!" Arizona yelled in frustration.

"Yeah well I care about her two you know!" Amber yelled in return.

"Funny way of showing it." Arizona replied.

"I was there when her life descended into chaos. I'm the one who found her on the bathroom floor at party when she over-dosed and I'm the one who had to make her throw up."

"So why'd you stay out with her all night if you understand how hard she has it?"

"She wanted to stay out okay? You really don't like me."

"You know Calliope really well; probably better than I do." The surgeon softened her tone.

"And that intimidates you?"

"A little." She revealed.

"I bet she never even mentioned me before today."

"Well, no but you were at school with her."

Amber took a deep breath. "Cal and I clung to each other like a life raft when everything fell to pieces. We were kids dealing with more shit than most adults ever do. We drank together; we took pills together just to try and get through it. In many ways we were terrible for each other. I knew though that if I called her at anytime she'd listen. If I was in trouble she'd find me. And I did the same for her. Then she went to college and moved out here and got her life together. Don't get me wrong I'm so happy for her but we aren't as close as we used to be because she doesn't want to be reminded of the mess we were. Problem is I'm still a mess."

"Is that why you came to see her?"

"Yeah, when bad stuff happened I'd always go see her. When she was a bus away or a train and now a plane, this is my default. Find Callie and get drunk."

"What were you dealing with? Calliope had her injury; what about you?"

"My sister died of a drugs overdose when I was thirteen. Never got over it." Amber explained as she looked down.

"I'm sorry." Arizona offered. She went to the fridge and took out the bottle of wine that was inside. She poured each of them a glass.

"Don't be; it wasn't your fault." The other woman said before taking a sip.

"She said the same thing to me when I found out about her injury. I lost my brother."

"How?"

"Iraq."

"That's a lot more honourable than too much heroine."

"Still broke my heart." A few minutes of silence passed. "Thank you."

"What for?" Amber asked in confusion.

"The thought of Calliope going through all that on her own... I'm glad you were there; especially when she overdosed. I wouldn't have her if you hadn't looked after her. So thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Can I ask you what you and your husband argued about?"

"Kids. He wants them and I don't. He knew that when we got married but we were young and he thought I'd change my mind. It's kind of a deal breaker. I guess you're lucky Cal changed her mind right?"

"What?"

"Well she never wanted them before but last night she said how you make her want to start a family."

Before Arizona had a chance to go into meltdown the door swung open and the subject of the conversation walked in.

"Hey honey." Callie said as she put the shopping bags down on the counter and kissed her girlfriend hello.

"Hey." The blonde replied.

"You ready to tear it up tonight Cal?" Amber broke their sweet moment to say.

"No, I'm not coming out tonight."

"You can if you want baby." Arizona reassured her.

"Yeah but after this week I want to eat dinner, have a bath and go to bed. All with you of course."

"That sounds good." The surgeon wrapped her arms around Callie's neck and rested her forehead on the Latina's.

"Lame!" Was Amber's verdict. "I'm gonna phone Jonathon; I'm sure he'd play with me." She said as she got up and walked towards the spare bedroom.

"Have you called Ryan yet?" Callie shouted after her.

"Nope."

"Promise me something." She turned back to Arizona. "Don't ever fly thousands of miles away if we argue."

"I promise. I'm kind of hungry."

"Oh how subtle." Callie played as she pulled her hands away from her partner's hips. "You're gonna need to let go of my neck so I can start cooking darling."

The blonde did so and started packing away the food.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

Callie had fallen asleep pretty soon after going to bed but Arizona couldn't. The same thought kept running through her mind. Kids. She had snuck out of the bedroom and out onto the balcony. Arizona opened the box of cigarettes and took one out. She patted the pockets of her jacket looking for a lighter.

"You dropped this." Callie said from the door before walking towards her girlfriend. In her hand she held up the lighter. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She lied.

"Or, you could tell me the truth and avoid getting cancer." The Latina suggested as she walked back inside; she still had the lighter so Arizona was forced to follow her. "Look, I know Amber can be a pain but I'm not about to kick her out."

"It's not that." The surgeon went to sit down on the sofa next to Callie.

"Okay, you're scaring me now. What's up?"

"You want kids."


	33. Chapter 33

"You want kids."

"And you don't; I know."

"How'd you know?"

"Well, darling, this reaction isn't particularly subtle. You also went a bit funny when I mentioned it in London."

"You noticed that? Of course you noticed that." Arizona asked and answered in one breath.

Callie took one of her hands and turned to face her girlfriend more fully. "We don't need to have kids." She said resolutely.

"So why'd you tell Amber that you wanted them?"

"I'd had a few drinks but what I actually said was that you make me strong enough, stable enough and good enough to think maybe I'm capable of being a parent. But even then it's probably a dumb idea because I spent twenty minutes shouting at the TV earlier because I couldn't remember for the life of me what the programme I wanted to watch was called."

Arizona squeezed her hand.

"Are you sure?"

"I got used to the idea of not having kids a long time ago and it wasn't anything to do with you. It's with you that I feel kind of able to have kids. Nobody else ever could. So if you don't want them then we won't have them and that's okay. I'm not choosing anything over you Arizona."

The Latina opened her partner's hand and placed the lighter in it before speaking again. "I'm gonna go to bed because it's two o'clock in the morning but I won't go to sleep without you. You should know that if you smoke you'll have to change your clothes and clean your teeth. That will take a long time and considering your brain injured girlfriend is waiting for you before she falls asleep, it wouldn't be very nice of you." Callie said as she broke into a grin.

"You're not fair." Arizona whispered back, a smile just as wide on her face.

"You know the last time you said that you were drunk."

"God. That seems like a life time ago. We weren't even together then."

"So you coming to bed or going back out on the balcony?"

"Well I can't have you losing sleep for me." As she stood, the surgeon put the lighter down on the coffee table and took Callie's hand again. They walked back into the bedroom and got under the covers. The pair faced each other. The brunette had one hand under the other woman's hip and the other hand on her cheek. Arizona had both of hers on Callie's chest. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I don't want you to hate me."

"Never."

"Promise?"

When Callie saw actual concern in her partner's eyes she closed the distance between them. She connected their lips in such a delicate way it almost made Arizona cry. It was so passionate but so tender. After only a few seconds it was over and they looked into each other's eyes again.

"Okay." Arizona said as she understood what Callie was saying without words. "You don't know why I don't want them. You're just accepting it?"

"You're a grown woman Arizona. You've had a lot of time to work it out. Your reasons are reason enough for you and that's enough for me too. Now sleep."

The next morning Arizona woke up on her own. Suddenly the door opened and in walked her girlfriend with a tray of food. She placed it over the blonde's lap and perched on the bed.

"Morning." The Latina said as she kissed Arizona's cheek.

"What's all this about?" She asked as she looked down at the pancakes and coffee.

"Well I figured you'd be hungry seeing as it's almost lunchtime."

"What?"

"Relax it's your day off. Now eat before they go cold."

"Shouldn't you be at the centre?" Arizona didn't wait for a reply before shoving a fork full of pancake in her mouth."

"I phoned and said I was gonna be late. They'll cope."

"Well I just need to shower and then..."

"Nope." Callie interrupted.

"But I..."

"Nope." She repeated. "You are having a day off and that means an actual day off and staying at home. Although those boxes still haven't been unpacked yet so technically you haven't really moved in yet." The brunette explained as she pointed to a few plastic boxes in the corner of the room.

"Is that why you've moved them in here from the spare room?"

"Yeah."

"I would unpack them but there's no more space for them."

"There are some boxes of mine in the closet by the bathroom door. I've been meaning to sort through them. Take them out and put your stuff in. I'll deal with my crap later."

"Okay." Arizona responded with a mouth full of pancake. Callie leant over and wiped a drop of syrup away from her cheek with her thumb.

"You're lucky I find your lack of manners cute."

"I know." The blonde said as she popped her dimples. "Shouldn't you be leaving?"

Callie made no attempt to move.

"Calliope." She nudged her partner's arm.

"But I have you here all day. It's a very tempting alternative."

"Those kids need you. I'll be here when you get back."

"Fine." Callie said as she stood up. "Can you do me a favour?"

"Yeah."

"Check Amber is still alive every now and then. She got back about an hour ago and now she's in the spare room."

"How is she?"

"Well let's just say I'm glad I stayed in last night."

"Me too."

"Oh!" Callie suddenly remembered something. "This fell out of one of the boxes." She said as she held up a framed piece of paper. "What it is it?"

Arizona took a deep breath. "It's my Carter Madison Grant. I won it a couple of years ago."

"Wow. That's huge right?"

"Kind of." She suddenly felt very awkward.

"Okay, how come I didn't know about this?"

"I'd rather not talk about it. At least not right now. You should have left like ten minutes ago."

"Arizona..."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. Can we talk about this later?" When Arizona nodded Callie put the frame down and kissed her goodbye. "I'll see you later."


	34. Chapter 34

Callie was surprised to find Amber waiting by her car when she left Adams's House at about six o'clock that evening.

"I thought you'd still be recovering. What are you doing here?"

"Can we go for a drink?"

"Amber, no. Haven't you done enough of that?"

"I meant a coffee."

"I need to get back to Arizona."

"I need my friend!" Amber suddenly shouted. "I get that you have this relationship and judging by her mood earlier, you do need to see her but right now..."

"What do you mean mood?" Interrupted Callie.

"Ryan wants a divorce!" She snapped.

"What?"

"I phoned him earlier; he said it's over." A tear fell down Amber's cheek and Callie refocused.

"Get in the car. We'll go for a coffee."

They drove to a coffee shop and sat down at a table. The place was empty apart from them so their drinks came quickly.

"Sorry I got wrapped up in Arizona. I sort of forgot you had stuff going on." Callie apologised as she tapped her fingers on the cup.

"Hey, I know you can't multitask." Amber joked.

"He really wants a divorce?"

"Yeah, maybe if I hadn't gone off the deep end and come out here..."

"But that's what you do."

"Which is why I can't ever change right? I never try to work through anything. I mean you stopped drinking and stuff and actually managed to change."

"You wish I hadn't though."

"No well, being self destructive is always more fun in pairs. This is just lonely."

"Have I really changed that much?"

"You're kidding right? I barley recognise this life you've got now. In a good way."

"I still don't think I could be a parent."

"You could."

"Well, Arizona doesn't want kids so I guess we'll never know."

"You're just not going to? Trust me if you want them you can't run away from it."

"I love Arizona and I'm too messed up for words. I found someone who actually wants to spend the rest of their life with me. How many chances am I gonna get at that. I love her. She's the most important thing here."

"Ever wish we were normal?" Amber asked as she took a sip of her coffee.

"We are normal. If we went through all our shit and didn't react like we did, that wouldn't be normal."

"Fine, do you wish we hadn't gone through all that shit?"

"Sometimes but every time I start thinking like that, it never ends well. It ends with you finding me on the bathroom floor. Good stuff has come out of it. I'm friends with you." Callie said with a smile.

"I have to say I never imagined you with someone like Arizona."

"Why? What's wrong with Arizona?"

"Nothing. Well apart from the fact she doesn't like me, I mean. She's protective though and caring. Not like the girls you used to take home. Not that I'm judging."

"Amber you're always judging."

"Seriously though, she really loves you."

"I know. And she does like you. She just thinks you're a bad influence."

"Well yeah." Amber agreed with a sly grin.

"She gets scared when I push my limits."

"The last couple of days have been nothing in comparison to when we were at school."

"But she never saw me then. Thank God." There was a long pause before Callie spoke again. "I almost strangled her." She said as she stared down into her drink.

"What?"

"I had a fall..."

"Yeah." Amber interrupted. "And were unconscious for four days. Not that I knew until Jonathon mentioned it yesterday."

"Sorry."

"So what happened?"

"I wasn't... I was in so much pain. My head was... I don't really remember what happened. She tried to stop me taking some painkillers and I snapped. I didn't connect to what was going on until she was begging me not to hurt her. God."

Amber reached across the table and took her hand.

"She's still here though."

"Can't quite believe that."

"Why'd she stop you taking the pills?" If you were in so much pain."

"She was scared about how many I was taking. I'd told her about trying to kill myself and because I wasn't in the right frame of mind... I can still see her face sometimes; the fear that I was actually gonna..."

"You got pretty violent after you hit your head in college."

"Yeah, I know." Callie buried her head in her hands.

"Does Arizona know about that?"

"No. At least I don't think so. Well not the punching Jonathon part."

"He'd tried to stop you taking those painkillers right?"

"Yeah but I was taking too many then. That's why he got you to come. The only person who could talk me down." The Latina looked up at Amber. "What are you gonna do now?"

"Well I was hoping you could drop me off at the airport. I mean I've got to face him sometime."

"Okay. Well if you need to come back and stay here then you can."

"I know."

"And if you want a job we can sort you one out."

"No. I'm not working for you. At least leave me with some pride Cal."

"Okay."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Eventually Callie made it home. When she got to the apartment Arizona was folding laundry in the kitchen.

"Hey, I don't fancy cooking. How about we order a pizza?" The Latina asked as she walked towards her girlfriend. When she tried to kiss her on the cheek, Arizona moved out of the way and murmured something about not being hungry. "Okay, what's up?" Callie asked as she took a couple of steps back.

"I called you." Arizona said. She put down the last piece of clothing on the counter and turned to face the other woman. Her tone was annoyed to say the least.

Callie felt her pockets before realising she didn't have her phone. "Crap. I must have left it at the centre. Sorry."

"I phoned thirty minutes ago, you didn't have it then?"

"No, I left at about six."

"So where have you been?" It was now almost nine.

"With Amber."

"Why doesn't that surprise me? Where is she now?"

Callie was getting more and more frustrated and raised her voice. "At the airport. She's waiting for a flight home; where she will probably be greeted with divorce papers. She wanted to go for a coffee before she left. Now what the hell is wrong?"

"You didn't think to tell me where you were? I was worried." Arizona started to walk into the bedroom and Callie quickly followed.

"I'm a grown woman. And I'm sorry but I forgot to call you. Clearly because if I had remembered I would have realised that I didn't have my phone."

"What are these?" The blonde asked as she held up a few folded pieces of large paper.

"Where did you find those?"

"In the closet."

"In a box you weren't supposed to go through. That stuff is private."

"What are they?"

"Plans."

"Yeah, I can see that. What for?"

"A house. Okay. I was friends with an architect in college. One night I got drunk and told him all about my dream house and he actually drew the plans for me. It was a million years ago. Why are you so pissed off? I should be angry at you for going through my stuff."

"How old were you?"

"For God's sake! Like nineteen. Why?"

Arizona opened up the paper and pointed to a room on the plans.

"What does that say?"

Suddenly Callie realised what was going on. "Nursery. It says nursery." She whispered; feeling small all of a sudden.

"I thought you never wanted kids. You lied."

"Yeah."

"Your dream was to live in this house." The blonde stated as she waved the paper in her hand. "And your dream was to have kids."

"Yeah."

"So why did you lie to me?"

"Can we not do this right now? I'm tired."

"Oh you're always fucking tired!" Arizona yelled in frustration. "No, wait." Her tone softened, "I didn't mean that."

"You're right I am and that must be really fucking hard for you!" Callie yelled back before storming out of the apartment.


	35. Chapter 35

It was midnight. Which meant Callie had walked out three hours ago. Arizona didn't blame her. She couldn't believe the words had come out of her mouth. The blonde had finally decided to try and sleep but she was now staring at herself in the mirror. She just stayed standing their even though she had finished cleaning her teeth about fifteen minutes earlier. All of a sudden Arizona heard the front door open and close, followed by the bedroom door.

Without saying a word the brunette walked into the bathroom, already naked and turned on the shower.

"Calliope." Arizona whispered pleadingly. She watched the Latina's shoulders start to shake and realised that her girlfriend was crying as she stepped in and closed the door behind her. The surgeon pulled her shirt over her head and stepped out of her shorts. When she opened the shower door she found Callie sat on the floor. She closed the door and sat down next to her. Arizona was relieved when her partner didn't resist her embrace. She wrapped one arm around Callie's back and used the other to move a wet lock of her from her face before stroking Callie's arm.

She was sobbing.

"I'm sorry." Callie sniffed.

"Don't. Don't you dare Calliope."

"I'm sorry I'm such a burden." She turned her head and locked eyes with Arizona.

"Baby. No. You're not. I just... I don't even know. I'm sorry. I felt like you were slipping away from me. I shouldn't have let myself lose control like that. I'm sorry."

"I should have told you where I was."

"You forgot to. That's okay."

"I mean since I ran out after we argued."

"As long as you were safe and as long as you come back to me then it's fine."

"I was at the hospital."

"What?" Arizona asked suddenly worried all over again.

"Sarah didn't come to the centre today. Turns out she spent all day drinking. She got rushed to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. Her parents phoned Adams's House. I was there looking for my phone." Callie's sobs had stopped but the fatigue in her voice was now evident.

"So you went to see Sarah?"

"Yeah; but now I..."

"Smell like hospitals which is why we're in the shower." Arizona finished with a sad smile. "Is Sarah okay?"

"She will be." The brunette closed her eyes. She was ready to fall asleep right there and then.

Arizona reached up and took the shampoo off the shelf and passed it to Callie before grabbing the body wash.

"You do your hair and I'll do your body. Yeah?"

She got a nod in response. The Latina worked the shampoo into her hair and leant forwards under the spray to rinse it out. She then sat back as Arizona straddled her hips and squeezed the gel into her hands. Arizona started washing Callie's shoulders. She then worked down one arm then the other.

Callie's eyes were closed again as she enjoyed her girlfriend's hands on her tired body. She heard a whispered: "I love you Calliope." And opened them again. The surgeon had moved onto her chest now.

"I love you too." She said almost as a reassurance before closing the gap between them and kissing Arizona's lips. They broke apart before kissing again as the blonde moved her hands back to Callie's shoulders.

"Come on." Arizona stood as she spoke and encouraged Callie to do the same so she cold rinse off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX

Callie buried herself under the covers and waited for Arizona to join her.

"Do you need anything? Do you have a headache?" The surgeon asked as she stared at her girlfriend in the bed from the closet door.

"No. I could do with some water though."

"Right I'll go get you some. Have you eaten?"

"I'm fine Arizona."

"Yeah I know." She returned a few minutes later with a bottle of water. "I'll be on the couch if you need me."

"What? Why?"

"We had that fight and things are still..."

"Stay with me?" The other woman almost pleaded.

"You're not mad with me?" Arizona asked as she came to stand by the bed.

"No, I'm mad and frustrated and upset with you and me and the world but right now I'm tired. As always that overwrites everything else. I'm scared Arizona. I'd like you to... lie with me."

The blonde didn't need to be asked twice and got under the covers. The two women lay facing each other but not touching.

"I'm sorry for what I said; about you being tired."

"I know. You wanna talk about the other stuff?"

"Not now."

"You seemed pretty insistent... earlier." Callie was beginning to slur her words.

"I wasn't seeing what was really important. You need to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

"About everything?" The Latina closed her eyes. They felt heavy from the day.

"Yeah."

"This morning seems like forever ago." Callie mumbled. "I was taking care of you for a change."

"You take care of me more than you realise." Arizona lay staring at her partner for a while before tentatively whispering: "Calliope?" To see if she was asleep.

"Yeah?"

"Can I hold you?"

Without a verbal reply Callie shuffled closer to Arizona and rested her head on the blonde's chest as two arms came up around her body.

"I get why she did it." The brunette whispered.

Arizona knew instantly to what she was referring.

"Sarah."

"Yeah. It's not because I used to be her. I'm still her. At moments like this I hate my life."

Arizona tried not to be offended; she knew it was hard for Callie to express her feelings and had to let her talk. So she just stroked the dark hair on her shoulder.

"I mean I have successful businesses and a great apartment and people who love me. I have you for God's sake but still right now I hate it. Not feeling like you're connected to anything. Like you could say or do whatever and it won't reach anybody else. Sorry I don't really know what I'm saying."

"You feel like you're inconsequential." Arizona summarised.

"Yeah."

"Honey you're not though."

"I know. It just feels sometimes like the rest of the world should stop because..."

"Because you have to."

"Yeah and I get why Sarah did it though; the pills and drink. It's harder sometimes not to do something self destructive. Easier to drink yourself stupid."

"Because you're inconsequential."

"Hey you're getting good at this."

"Do you want to do something self destructive now?" Arizona couldn't stop the worry in her voice.

"No. An hour ago I did but not now. I almost told the cab driver to take me to the bar."

"I'm glad you didn't. You aren't gonna get to sleep as long as you keep thinking what you are."

"And what's that?"

"That you let Sarah down."

"How long have you been in my head?"

"A while."

"I should have done more."

"You did more than anyone else."

"It wasn't enough. I should have checked why she didn't show today. I should have realised she was depressed."

"Calliope you know that wouldn't have stopped her. Would it have stopped you when you were that age?"

"I didn't have anybody claiming to look after me other than my parents. Parents are easy to fool. I shouldn't be."

"Hey !" Arizona lifted Callie's chin in order to get eye contact. "You can't be a super hero all of the time Calliope. Sarah is a smart teenager. A smart teenager with serious problems. Getting around people like you is what she is best at. Think about everything you've kept hidden from your parents, from Jonathon and from me. I know it's more than I will ever know. You coped the best you could and so is Sarah. You do more for those kids than anybody ever did for you and that makes you awesome. There is a reason her parents called you when their daughter was rushed to the ER. Calliope this wasn't your fault. Say it."

"It wasn't my fault."

Arizona held the woman in her arms a little tighter.

"Now we both need to sleep."

"You know I didn't realise how much I needed you till you showed up. I love you."

"I love you too."


	36. Chapter 36

A slight breeze found its way through one of the open windows in their bedroom. It washed over the two women. Arizona shuffled even closer to Callie. During the night the brunette must have rolled over because her back was now against the surgeon's front. Her head was rested on a pale arm. Arizona's other arm, the one that wasn't acting as a pillow for her girlfriend, was wrapped around her waist.

As the breeze blew through again it took one of the curtains with it. The partition in the pieces of material allowed a stream of light into the room. Arizona opened her eyes lazily at first and then closed them again when the sharp rays hit her. The second time she opened them more purposefully and she pulled her head back slightly as she wanted to see the goddess in her arms glow in the crack of sunshine. All too soon the curtain was dropped by the wind and it fell back into place; the room was darker again but she could still make out Callie's glorious curves.

Callie herself was beginning to wake up. She suddenly felt a pair of lips brush against her shoulder before delivering a lasting kiss next to the strap of her tank top.

"What are you doing?" She asked curiously without opening her eyes.

"Kissing you." It was simple. It was obvious. With the husk in Arizona's voice, which she kept at barely above a whisper, though it sent shockwaves down Callie's spine. A few more kisses followed and the Latina was almost squirming in her arms. She brought her lips to Callie's ear. "How are you feeling?" The huskiness was lost momentarily and was replaced with sincerity.

"I'm better thank you."

"Good." And the sexiness returned instantly as the hand on her stomach edged closer to Callie's breast. Simultaneously Arizona started kissing behind her ear.

"Arizona." Was moaned into the room and those lips were back by her ear.

"What? You use that spot on my neck to your advantage all of the time."

"We can't just keep avoiding this."

Callie was quickly pulled onto her back and the blonde straddled her hips. She sat up to meet the other woman who spoke with sadness in her voice.

"Can't we? Can't we just avoid it a little longer? I just want to enjoy us a little longer. I wanna enjoy the light." Arizona was looking down into their laps.

The Latina ran a single finger up the blonde's left arm. It journeyed along her collar bone and under her chin. Big blue eyes seemed to swirl as they met Callie's. The finger danced lightly down Arizona's throat and pulled the neck line of her shirt down. Both hands then rested down on her thighs.

"A little longer." Callie whispered like it was a secret. Their mouths met passionately. Arizona brought her hands to her partner's shoulders and then down to the hem of her tank top. It was over Callie's head in a second. She was then pushed back by the blonde. She lay with Arizona on top of her. They were kissing again.

The surgeon pulled away from her lips and started kissing down her neck and chest like she was devouring her last meal. When she reached Callie's stomach she felt hands run through her hair. Both of their breathing had become laboured and loud. Arizona brought her hands to the brunette's breasts and rolled hardened nipples in between her fingers.

"God Arizona!" She panted.

One hand was lowered to Callie's centre and the Latina immediately opened her legs further apart to allow her lover between them. Arizona began licking her slowly. Callie was staring at the ceiling getting lost in the feel of it all.

"Look at me." She heard so she moved her head in order to look down at the blonde woman as she continued to give her pure ecstasy. There something about watching Arizona that was driving Callie even wilder than usual. It was the look in those blue eyes. An indescribable look. A combination of feelings. A culmination of their experience.

It wasn't long before Callie came against Arizona's tongue. As she came down she suddenly felt tired again and couldn't keep her eyes open anymore.

"Are you okay?" The other woman asked as she lay next to her.

"Tired."

"Go to sleep sweetheart." Arizona watched her partner roll towards her onto her side.

"Are you sure?"

The surgeon kissed Callie sweetly on the lips before stroking her cheek repeatedly with her thumb.

"Yeah baby."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arizona had crept out of the room not long after Callie had fallen back asleep. She sat on the sofa eating some cereal. As she sat there her eye caught a picture she hadn't seen before in a frame on the coffee table. Well she had seen it before- just after it had been taken on Callie's phone. It was of them both at Edinburgh castle. Arizona smiled and picked it up. She was still in shock in the photo because of the loud shot fired from the huge gun. Callie had neglected to warn her and in the picture she was holding onto the surgeon with one arm, trying to calm her down but at the same time laughing hysterically.

"_God you're cute." Callie had whispered into her ear after the photo had been taken._

_Arizona turned into her arms and grabbed the lapels of her leather jacket. "You could have warned me." She pouted._

"_I thought you knew."_

"_Well I didn't."_

"_Yeah I got that from the scream." Arizona buried her head into her partner's chest in embarrassment. "Hey look at me." Callie said as her hands found their way under her top and started rubbing circles on her lower back. "Darling. I'll make it up to you."_

_She lifted her head and broke out into a grin. "Oh yeah?"_

"_Yeah why'd you think I got us such a nice hotel room? So we could spend all day in it tomorrow." _

"_That does sound awesome." She leant forwards ever so slightly and kissed Callie who then brought her mouth to Arizona's ear_

"_I love you, you know that?" The Latina whispered._

The blonde stared at her girlfriend's face behind the glass. She was so happy in that moment. They both were. All she really wanted was to make Callie that happy for the rest of their lives. Suddenly things became very clear in her mind. She stood and put the picture back in its place. She found Callie right where she'd left her, lying on her side but Arizona could tell that she wasn't really asleep. She got back in bed under the sheet and put her head on the pillow to face her girlfriend. The Latina opened her eyes.

"Carter Madison was my dream. The grant was an opportunity to set up a clinic in Malawi and help kids who otherwise would never see a paediatric surgeon. It was for three years though and I was with Jasmine at the time."

"She didn't want you to go?"

"No she did- although now I know that was probably just so she could cheat on me some more. And it was great. Being out there I was making such a difference."

"So why aren't you still there?"

"I came back after three months."

"How come?"

"I missed her. I missed my girlfriend. My cheating bitch of a girlfriend. So they replaced me with a guy who could be out there full time and I'm supposed to go back once a month or whatever."

"But you haven't."

"No."

"And you never even told me. Why didn't I know about this?"

"Because I came back."

"Because you missed your girlfriend. It's not a crime to miss somebody you love Arizona, you didn't know what she had done."

"No I know. And then I found out and we were supposed to be trying to make it work so I couldn't just leave again. If I hadn't of come back then I'd never have met you. What was your dream?"

"To get married, have kids and live in that house. It's what every normal person just assumes will happen but I soon realised how unachievable it was for me. I didn't think I could be in a relationship so I screwed around. I was sure I could never be a parent so I told everyone that I didn't want kids and hoped that one day I'd believe it myself. That's why Amber thought it was new that I wanted them because I convinced her I felt like that."

"You convinced me too."

"I know but I wanted to avoid any drama. So you know that worked."

"Did you believe that you didn't want them?"

"For a little while."

"You shouldn't have to give up on your dream for me, even if you love me. I gave up on mine for Jasmine and look how that ended."

"Yeah, because she cheated on you. You're not gonna cheat on me."

"No but... You aren't hearing me Calliope. Your dream is to get married?"

"Yeah."

"So we'll get married. And your dream is to have kids?"

"Yeah, but I can only do that with you so..."

"So we'll have kids."


	37. Chapter 37

"So we'll have kids."

"What?" Callie was confused by the sudden change of heart.

"My dream changed. I think it was probably after that first day we spent at Adams's House. My dream became to just make you happy. Calliope you deserve that."

"That's not a good enough reason to bring a kid into this world. If you don't want..."

"I do." Arizona shuffled a little closer and placed her hand on her girlfriend's neck with her thumb once again brushing across her cheek. "I thought I wasn't cut out to be a Mom and then Jas didn't want them so I stopped thinking about them. Everything seemed set. Then things got rocky and then of course you showed up and turned everything upside down, in the best possible way. I just got scared but I've realised that I could be a parent with you. I want to have a family with you. You'd be a great Mom."

Arizona watched a tear fall down Callie's cheek and she wiped it away gently.

"Okay that's not the reaction I was expecting."

"I just..." The Latina wrapped her arm around her waist and both of them moved so that the lower halves of the body were touching. "I'm not sure that I could..." The rest of her sentence was cut off when the blonde kissed her.

"Let me guess what you did yesterday at the centre. You probably helped James with his Maths homework and then talked to Billy about why he has been so quiet lately before you spent ages on the phone to that teacher of Hannah's who still doesn't understand her situation."

"And then I handed them all back to their parents at the end of the day."

"Calliope trust me; you will be an awesome Mom. Okay?"

Callie couldn't stop the grin forming on her face.

"Okay. You will be too."

When another tear fell Arizona grew concerned again.

"Baby why are you crying?"

"Cause nobody's ever changed their life plan for me."

"Well you changed your lifestyle for me."

"That was easy."

"So was this, when I really thought about it."

"Wait did you just propose to me?" Callie suddenly realised.

"No it wasn't a proposal. It was a promise. My proposal is gonna be a hell of a lot better than that." Arizona smiled.

"How come you're gonna propose not the other way around?" Callie smiled back.

"Well maybe it will be you I just thought... I don't really know... It's not like I've planned it or got a ring or anything, I mean."

Brunette couldn't let Arizona dig herself any further and kissed her as she pulled her into her arms as tightly as possible. She really never wanted to let go. Soon the surgeon was kissing her back whilst her hands ran down Callie's bare body. She was still naked from their earlier activities.

Their second round was soon interrupted by the Latina's phone ringing. She was now on top of Arizona who still felt the need to squeeze Callie's breasts as she reached across and grabbed her phone. Callie sat up and back onto her heels so she was out of Arizona's reach. The other woman just looked smugly up at her.

The blonde watched her bring the phone to her ear.

"Hello." Her face suddenly changed. "Oh, Hi Amanda. Yeah I'm gonna come to the hospital today... No I'll be there in the next hour. Has she said anything yet?... Okay. Bye."

"Sarah's Mom?" Arizona asked as she sat up and placed her hands on Callie's lower back.

"Yeah, I forgot for a second." Callie replied; her hands rested on her partner's shoulder's. "As much as I'd really love to stay here with you..."

"Duty calls." Arizona understood. She gave her a quick kiss. "Why don't you shower whilst I get you some breakfast?"

"Sounds good."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Callie got back into the kitchen she found a bowl of oatmeal, a bowl of fruit and a cup of coffee waiting for her. There was also a rather cute blonde sat on one of the stools finishing off a cup of her own.

"Shouldn't you eat something?" The brunette asked as she sat down next to her girlfriend.

"I already did." Arizona smirked and put her hand on Callie's thigh. She couldn't help be a little disappointed that they were covered now that Callie was dressed.

"I meant food." She responded before starting to eat.

"So did I Calliope. Get your head out of the gutter. Are you gonna be okay going to the hospital; I know they're not your favourite places."

"I don't have much of a choice really. Wait shouldn't you already be there?"

"Well seeing as I practically spent the last week there on that case I told the chief I was working on a paper based on it."

"What happens when there's no paper?"

"There will be eventually. "

Callie had finished her oatmeal and pulled the bowl of fruit in front of her.

"I was gonna make you a smoothie but I figured after my last attempt with the hand blender, this was safer."

Callie just looked at her blankly.

"Remember? I tried to make soup but I didn't hold onto the container."

"Oh yeah. Carrot and Coriander went everywhere." The Latina laughed.

Arizona picked up a strawberry and brought it to Callie's lips. She sucked it into her mouth and barely had a chance to swallow it before the blonde was kissing her. The hand on her thigh was inching higher and higher. She pulled back.

"I feel like we're getting distracted. I mean I feel some other things, like hot things, but mainly distracted."

"Yeah, sorry." Arizona said as she stood up and kissed Callie one more time. "You see this why you're gonna be a good parent. You're picking helping another person's kid over having sex with me." She joked.

"The latter is very tempting but Sarah needs me."

"And so do her parents."

"You don't have to come with me."

"I want to. Actually I need to get some information on my last case anyway. Can you remind me?"

"You're asking me to remind you of something?" Callie laughed.

"Good point. I'm gonna go shower before we go. Okay?"

"Sure."


	38. Chapter 38

When Callie and Arizona got to the hospital Sarah's parents were sat outside their daughter's room.

"Hey," The brunette greeted them. "Is she still not talking?" She asked as she pulled the mother in for a hug.

"She won't say a word other than to refuse us going in there. She has said that she doesn't want to see you either Callie. I'm sorry."

"Please, none of this is your fault." She reassured.

"Maybe I could try?" Arizona offered.

That took the Latina by surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah." She shrugged in response. "Maybe she'll talk to me; I do have access to the pain meds."

The other three agreed and Arizona entered the room. Sarah was just lying there; staring into nothing. That was something she'd grown used to. Being with Callie for almost six months now had taught her a few things.

"Hey." The surgeon started as she took a seat. "How are you feeling?"

"How'd you think I'm feeling?" The teenager turned head towards her but just looked straight through Arizona.

"Like crap?"

"I said that I didn't want to see anyone. Did they send you in here?"

"No. I offered. Why did you get so drunk?"

"Because I wanted to."

"You know by all accounts Calliope was pretty wild when she was your age?"

"So?"

"So, she hid a lot of it from her family because she was ashamed. Ashamed that after what they went through when she was ill, even though it was in no way her fault, she was then putting them through more. Is that why your parents are outside?"

"Oh I get it. You've been screwing Callie for long enough that now you're an expert."

"I never said that! I'm not..."

"No!" Sarah yelled. "You don't have a clue. You can never understand! It's just me and I'm alone in this!"

Suddenly Arizona's mind went back to that night.

"_You'll never get it! You won't understand what this is like. It's me! It's just me and I'm alone in this! Just me and my stupid head. You get to be normal. It's not fair! You don't know!"_

She got up and left the room in a daze. She pushed past the concerned faces of Sarah's parents and her girlfriend. She found herself in an on call room, trying to control her breathing.

Callie had followed her. She knocked on the door.

"I'm fine." Arizona's voice confirmed that she was anything but fine. The brunette opened the door and stepped inside. She locked the door behind her and kept a safe distance away.

"You're not fine. That's the same voice you use when you have a nightmare and try to convince me that you're alright. You do that so that I won't ask you what it's about and the only nightmare you won't tell me about is the one about me." Callie knew. She always knew.

Arizona let out a breath and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry." She said, her throat obviously dry from trying not to cry.

"Don't be stupid."

"No, I'm sorry for yelling at you last night."

"It's okay."

The blonde shook her head and closed the distance between them. She wrapped her arms around her partner's neck and put her head on her shoulder. She inhaled Callie's perfume.

"It's really not okay Calliope."

The Latina simply held the woman a little closer. "Do you remember what I said to you after the first time we slept together?"

"You didn't say anything."

"Well not technically the first time but I count it as the first time. In my apartment. You know the one I was actually there for?"

"Oh well then you said a lot then."

"About how I suck with emotions so you can't try and ignore yours."

"You told me that I would get angry."

"And that you should yell at me"

"But I said that I wouldn't."

"But I knew that you would. You're human Arizona. Don't ever stop being human. That's all I'll ever need from you, especially when I'm a shell."

"Okay." She reached up and rested her forehead against the Latina's.

"What did Sarah say to you?"

"Nothing."

"Darling?"

"She just said some stuff that... that took me back to when... when you lost your temper. It's not her fault. Just like it's not yours."

"Right well, why don't you go and take Amanda and Mike to get a coffee? And you can go get those files too whilst I talk to her."

"You think she'll see you?"

"Trust me, she isn't getting a choice."

"Thank you." Arizona whispered before kissing her girlfriend.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Callie sat down by Sarah's bed, she noticed that the girl had been crying. The older of the two said nothing.

"I'm sorry I upset Arizona."

"It wasn't your fault. You just said some stuff that hit a nerve."

"I'm sick of people saying that they "get it"."

"I know."

"Even you."

Callie smiled. "I know. What use is somebody understanding? It's not like they can fix it."

"Oh crap! You get that too?"

"Yeah, I get it."

"Shut up." Sarah laughed.

"Hangovers are a lot worse for those with brain injuries."

"Yeah, I'm beginning to realise just how bad they are."

"At least you're hooked up to an IV. I hardly ever got that luxury."

There was a knock at the door and a blonde head pocked round.

"Hey baby, I got you a coffee." Arizona said as she offered it to Callie who took it happily.

"Thanks."

"Arizona I'm sorry." Sarah yelled before the surgeon could shut the door.

"It's okay." She reassured and came back into the room fully.

All of a sudden a phone went off. The Latina took it from her pocket and answered.

"Hello? One sec." She apologised but explained to Arizona and Sarah that she had to take it and left.

"You were right."

"About what?" Arizona asked.

"I'm ashamed of what I did."

"Your parents will get through this. They just want you to be safe and happy. I'm sure you'll fool them into believing you are soon enough."

When their eyes met Sarah knew that there was no use in arguing. "Maybe you are an expert."

"No. I just know you a bit better than you think I do."

"Do you really love Callie?" The question came out of nowhere.

"With everything I am. We're not just "Screwing"."

"Do you ever wish you didn't? That you didn't love her."

Arizona pursed her lips and thought for a moment. "Yes. There was one moment."

"Was it because of her injury?"

"No. It was before we were actually together. I was with another woman. I wasn't all that happy but we had history. At the time I was terrified at the thought of leaving what felt safe, even if it was based on lies, for this woman that I had fallen head over heels for in about a week. That had nothing to do with her situation. I mean it's tough sometimes. It's pretty random when her bad days are gonna be. I don't always deal with them very well either. It's horrible when she looks at me like you are now. Just looks right through me. She's a million miles away and I want her to be just there. I wouldn't give her up for the world though. I just have to suck it up. Every day that I wake up with her is a good day and every night I fall asleep with her is even better."

"I don't think I'll ever find that."

"You will. If you deserve it you'll find it."

"Well I can't wait another fifteen years or whatever. I'm sick of being lonely. I hate it. I was never lonely before any of this happened."

"Is that why you drank so much?"

"Partly. I've felt so empty for so long that I tried to fill myself up with something. And I wanted to feel numb. Booze did that. I thought I could handle it because being drunk is just like being brain injured only without the headache. I just couldn't stop myself though."

Arizona reached for the girl's hand. They sat there for a while and talked. All the surgeon could think about was how similar Callie's teenage years probably were. How alone she must have been.


End file.
